To refuse to go to the rabbit killer's birthday party

[chocolatebox1]

A couple of months ago a family friend looked after our dog and my rabbit when we went on holiday. She was given very clear instructions about feeding the rabbit and everything was left out and couldn't have been made more simple. Got back and found my rabbit lying listless in the cage. The friend had gone through the cupboards and given her a bowl of some sort of dog supplements she'd found in there instead of proper food. Unfortunately my rabbit didn't survive.
I haven't seen this family friend since. Even though i don't know her all that well, for some reason I was asked to organise a birthday party for her. I booked a restaurant and it's for this evening. It's time to get ready and I'm feeling very angry again about what happened and don't want to go. Would I be unreasonable to make an excuse and not go?

I mean I would be telling her I’m not fucking attending because she killed my rabbit!!!!!!!!! But I wouldn’t have agreed to book her stupid birthday for the same reason, nor would I have allowed someone I didn’t know well to look after my precious animals.

junebirthdaygirl

Are you for real?!

This isn’t like the rabbit got out and ran off, or the dog ran off in the park and onto the road - she fed it the wrong food!!!!!! It was completely her fault. Doing someone a favour doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to phone it in or fuck it up to such a degree. I’m sure OP would rather she had said no than do such a shit job.

I left an old friend of mine in my house looking after my pregnant cat, she lived with her parents and was happy about getting a break.

She hardly fed the cat and she lost her kittens.

20 years later I haven't spoken to her since.

YAnbu

Wouldn't be doing any arrangements for someone who killed my rabbit!! She gave a dog supplement to a rabbit wtf there is accidents and then there is this.

I would not make an excuse and be straight she killed my rabbit eff offf

I'm very sorry about the loss of your pet. Don't go. You won't be doing anyone any favours. Has your mum told her that the rabbit has died? I agree with you - not deliberate but she sounds lacking in intelligence. I would've gone out and bought rabbit food if I couldn't find any! Put it behind you.

Can I ask why she was looking after your rabbit when you don’t know her very well? WAs she coming into your home very day? Was she being paid?

Are you sure she fed the Reddit the supplement? Could she have brought some children with her and they thought it was a treat? Is she elderly?

Sorry for the questions - it just seems so odd. Poor bunny.

I wouldn't go but I also wouldn't have booked a restaurant for someone who killed a pet.
I am surprised though that the rabbit ate dog food. Rabbits are usually very good at selecting safe food and won't touch food that would harm them. In the wild they have access to lots of different plants and not all are safe to eat. They are usually excellent at picking out the safe stuff.

I wouldn't go and I'd be saying why. Your mother is hoping it can all be brushed under the table - I bet that's why she nagged you to book, to show there were no bad feelings - just tell her that the death of your rabbit due to her friend's negligence is too raw. You don't want to sit round a table pretending everything is hunky dory to spare the friend's feelings at the expense of yours.

What the hell was in the dog food that killed the poor rabbit so rapidly. A quick This is so unfortunate but are you sure that
this directly led to the rabbits death? Google says that the most likely effect of a rabbit eating dog food is obesity to the rabbit and kidney damage "over time".
I think I would have addressed the issue at the time to find out exactly what happened and to give her the chance to explain herself.
But no, I wouldn't go to the party, you aren't going to enjoy it so why waste money. Stand up to your mum and just say no.

Rephrase: It's unfair of your Mum to expect you to sit ....

", my mum kept on at me about booking something until I gave in to keep her quiet"

Why didn't you tell your mum to do it herself?

Were you talked into having this person look after your rabbit?

If everything was left out, it's ridiculous that they used something else.

I would have told them what they'd done-bugger keeping the peace!

There is such a word as saying no, you wont organise it.
I absolutely would not go.

How do you know what she gave the rabbit if you’ve not spoken about it? (Sorry if I’ve missed something or read it wrong).

I wouldn’t go. Stay in the warm away from the rabbit killer.

1. Sorry about the rabbit

1. You don't know her all that well. Never mind the rabbit - why did you leave your beloved family dog with her?

1. You don't like her. She killed your rabbit. Why did you agree to arrange her party?

I wouldn't go OP.
And I'd tell DM to make her own bookings in future.

This is all so weird.

Oh yes I am sure I can feel you have a terrible migraine coming on! What a pity.

Did she tell you she fed it dog food and did you say anything to her then and how did she react?

I've thought of 2 more ..

Why didn't you ask your mum to look after your rabbit and dog?

Why can't the rabbit killer arrange her own party?

Confused

YWNBU not to go - but:

Why on earth didn’t you tell that dopey woman she’d killed your pet? And:

Why didn’t you tell your mother NO A THOUSAND TIMES NO?

It’s a great shame about your poor pet and it won’t bring the poor creature back, but you really need to get a bit more assertive here!

It could be especially awkward if rabbit is on the menu and your friend chooses that dish.

Hehehe that’s hilarious

I think you're being melodramatic and unkind. You don't know the wrong food killed the rabbit. Rabbits can die from all sorts of sudden onset illnesses, they're delicate animals. Stress, viruses, gum abscesses etc can all kill quickly.

Did the rabbit have any symptoms?

Don't go! She can piss off.

The dog supplements were in a box with pictures of dogs on it I don't know why she felt the need to go rummaging around the back of cupboards when the food she'd been told to use was all out on the surface and labeled clearly. I was going away with my mum, which is why she suggested her apparently very responsible friend should be paid as a pet sitter (she does dog walking for my mum). I know I need to be more assertive and should have just said no to organising the gathering. I feel a migraine coming on and I'm not going to go.