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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use this baby name

80 replies

Lydia335 · 21/12/2018 14:29

I know this has been done to death and no one can really decide but me but I’m so torn.

Baby no 1. I’ve liked a name since I was little. Always said that’s the name we’d use if we have a DD since I met my DH 14 years ago. Whilst pregnant a close family friend has called her DD a name which is sometimes used as a nickname for the name we’ve picked. Literally one letter difference. Think sue and susie or Nicola and Nicole.

We have no other names picked out, If it was one of our boy names that I’ve not been as set on or liked for as long id change it. But this one has been in my heart for so many years!

The friend knows the name has always been my fave and there’s a risk we’d use it - before her baby was born and I knew what they’d picked.

So can I still use it?! We see this family 5/6 times a year (my parents see her parents more often) but are in regular contact on social media/texts. Day guests to our wedding. Live fairly local and some of my friends know her - only to have on social media. Will it be riddiculous having two little girls running around family bbqs and the like called such similar names? And will I offend anyone?!

OP posts:
squaksquak · 21/12/2018 14:31

What’s the name!?!?!?!?

Why do people never just say what the name is? 😩

YANBU to use a name you like though.

Clionba · 21/12/2018 14:31

You like the name. Use it.
Problem solved.

orangepopp · 21/12/2018 14:32

what's the name?

Mishappening · 21/12/2018 14:33

I cannot see the problem. Call her what you like!

Two of my GSs have the same name - no problem!

DorisDances · 21/12/2018 14:34

Just use it!

Original poster
Lydia335 · 21/12/2018 14:34

If I say the name and she’s on here it’s pretty outing and I could upset her anyway!!!

OP posts:
Stephisaur · 21/12/2018 14:35

It’s a family friend, not a close relative so I would just use the name.

There are 3 johns on my husband’s side of the family - they manage to know who is who, so I wouldn’t worry.

Upanddownandroundagain · 21/12/2018 14:35

I know it’s too late, but this is why I never told anyone the names I liked when I was pregnant. I’d use it - depends what it is though. Is it very distinctive?

HJWT · 21/12/2018 14:38

No I think it only matters if it's the same name as your niece / nephew...

M00nUnit · 21/12/2018 14:38

Will it be riddiculous having two little girls running around family bbqs and the like called such similar names?

No - not at all! Lots of families have people with similar names in them. Two of my nieces (1 year apart in age and each others' first cousins) have names that have only 1 letter different - nobody seems to mind in the slightest.

Just call your baby the name you like! You said yourself that your friend knows the name has always been your favourite anyway.

Makido · 21/12/2018 14:41

My sister is Elin and one of her cousins is Ellie. They're only about 18m apart in age. It's never been a problem.

orangepopp · 21/12/2018 14:42

Revealing the baby name isn't outing. Thousands will have the same name. If it's something like Susie and Sue that's the same name but Amelia and Millie arw different names in their own right.

posthistoricmonsters · 21/12/2018 14:45

It doesn't matter. There are precious idiots who think no one else is ever allowed to use the same or similar names to the ones they've used but this is the name you've always wanted and you have every right to use it. My best friend from school has a Freya. I was going to use that name but was vetoed but even if I had, I would not have cared if my friend used the same name. It's a cool name. You might lose touch with this person anyway. It happens.

Original poster
Lydia335 · 21/12/2018 14:45

Its a fairly unusual name. I do think they have different feels tho. The one we like is more traditional, the one my friend has used is a bit more trendy

OP posts:
Clionba · 21/12/2018 14:46

Bloody hell, every third child is called Olivia/Amelia/Jack/Harry/Emily, so if it's one of those names there's going to be dozens at school anyway.

MimiSunshine · 21/12/2018 14:48

Just use it. They’re not the same name, just similar and your friend knew it was your favourite girls name and likely to be used when she chose the similar name so not sure what she’d have to be upset about?

Crunchymum · 21/12/2018 14:49

Do they use the name you want as a nickname?

BlueSuffragette · 21/12/2018 14:53

You like it. You use it.

Birdsgottafly · 21/12/2018 14:54

You're an Adult longer than a child and they may never meet as Adults, or you mix as much.

I'm from an area were people called their children after living relatives, if not themselves. People will get used it, really quickly. That's if anyone even thinks they are very similar.

MrsRhettButler · 21/12/2018 14:55

Is it a bit like Evie and Eva?
I say use the name, I wouldn't even think twice tbh.
All the girls in our family seem to have very samey sounding names. (all end with an ah sound and lots start with an A)
We even have children who have different names but the same nickname and its never been a problem.

Definitely use the name. Smile

Crunchymum · 21/12/2018 14:55

Sorry I've got that arse upwards.

Use the name you like but just don't use the nickname that your friends have already used?

So your friend had called her DD (say) Izzy, you call yours Isabelle and try to avoid Izzy as nickname?

Avegemitesandwich · 21/12/2018 14:59

Is it Eve and Evie? So their kid is Evie and you like Eve?

Just use the name, you don't even see them that often.

CaroloftheBalls · 21/12/2018 14:59

Rosa and Rose?

Mae and May?

Olive and Olivia?

Avegemitesandwich · 21/12/2018 15:01

Oh yeah it's Rose and Rosie isn't it! I hate these guessing games!

diddl · 21/12/2018 15:04

So they've picked a nickname & you want to use the name?

I think that you should use it.

You told her the name & she still used a derivative of it, so she obviously doesn't care.