Returning to work after childbirth.

[Raven88]

I'm currently undergoing fertility treatment, the plan was to adopt because I didn't think I could have children but I have been told that I should be able to conceive naturally and the only thing they need to do is get my ovulation sorted.

The plan was for me to work and DH was going to be a SAHP. I was going to take Parental Leave which is 2 weeks at my work.

I am the main earner but we could cope financially if I took mat leave as our outgoings are low but it would be tight. DH is a taxi driver so has low earnings and won't get mat leave. He is working for family so they are flexible.

AIBU to expect to return to work quickly after childbirth. Also I know that it could take years for me to conceive or it might not happen but I like to be prepared.

I did it but as everyone says it's impossible to know what sort of birth you'll have.

I had an emergency section with my first, post partum haemorrhage and a couple of days in high dependency ward. I had planned to take 4 weeks leave but extended it to 6 weeks. I was physically ok but not ready to leave DD.

I returned to work 2 weeks after my second. Had a straightforward birth although I was only 27 weeks. I decided to return then as work was very close to hospital DS was to spend the next 3 months in and so I would finish work and spend 4 or 5 hours there. So although I was expressing through the day and night while at work I wasn't actually caring for him.

My DH Is a SAHP and very supportive but if I had my time again I'd probably take a bit longer off but I've no massive regrets either. The bills still needed to be paid.

I was still in hospital 8 days after giving birth so definitely couldn't have gone back to work after 2 weeks.
I went back at 6 months with #1 then 5 months with #2 more firmly mental health than anything else.

I went back at 6 and 7 months so I certainly don’t think women should have to stay home for years however I do wonder why you’d want a baby if you were prepared to spend only 2 weeks leave with them. The mums I know who’ve gone back to work at 3-6 weeks (self employed/single parents) were able to take their babies with them.

I couldn’t imagine doing that. We were in hospital for three days, then baby blues hit. I had a haemmorage during labour and had to take iron, I felt like death for several weeks after. I had minor tears but the stingy wees weren’t fun I wouldn’t want to do that at work. Post partum poops is another thing no one warns you about.

Breastfeeding for many is hard, I mean really hard. You can’t just express instead, some people manage it but it is a lot of work. Hours and hours of expressing to get barely 50ml of milk. I couldn’t do it and dd didn’t take to breastfeeding. I gave up expressing and trying to bf when she was 8 weeks much to my disappointment.

It’s a very major thing for your body. And that’s not to mention leaving your baby. I’m glad you are reconsidering.

I genuinely didn’t know which way was up at 2 weeks - we were in hospital for 8 days, but all I remember for the first 6 weeks was leaking from every orrafice: blood, milk, sweat, tears. It’s such a massive adjustment, please try and take longer for your own sake!

I took 3 months with both mine, which worked out about 1 month prior and 2 months post birth, I was fine but if I had my time again I take a couple more months.

leaking from every orrafice: blood, milk, sweat, tears.

Oh god yes I fucking stunk of sweat and breastmilk. I needed three showers a day.

A friend had a really premature baby and wanted to go back to work around 2-3 weeks just for the respite from visiting the hospital to see her baby wired up to machines, and to hopefully (at the time) save up her maternity leave for later. Her employer wouldn't let her return for insurance purposes I think

Returning at 3 months is quite normal (most nurseries in the UK take babies from 3 months). I know many PP disagree but not everyone loves maternity leave and doesn't want it to end. I needed to get back to work for my mental health.

Look at your maternity package at work, don't forget you may be able to claim child benefit & tax credits to top up your wages, childcare is expensive so look at if it would be better to work less hours but pay less child care. Have a rough idea of what you can do but don't make any concrete plans until you have conceived, things change quickly. Babies aren't babies very long, they grow up quickly, you don't want to miss out on a longed for baby's milestones, you will be surprised how much you save from not having to pay for travel & lunches, have you thought of finding some kind of home based work that you could fit round having a child?

Why does you dh need to stop work entirely? Surely a taxi driver could do some shifts around your working hours, especially working for family. Then money wouldnt be so tight.