Returning to work after childbirth.

[Raven88]

I'm currently undergoing fertility treatment, the plan was to adopt because I didn't think I could have children but I have been told that I should be able to conceive naturally and the only thing they need to do is get my ovulation sorted.

The plan was for me to work and DH was going to be a SAHP. I was going to take Parental Leave which is 2 weeks at my work.

I am the main earner but we could cope financially if I took mat leave as our outgoings are low but it would be tight. DH is a taxi driver so has low earnings and won't get mat leave. He is working for family so they are flexible.

AIBU to expect to return to work quickly after childbirth. Also I know that it could take years for me to conceive or it might not happen but I like to be prepared.

Just to add to my DD being 11 days when we left hospital I was in labour for 3 days which took us over 14 days you are planning to allow yourself.

The point above is a good one actually. I was in and out of hospital for 3 days before being admitted, I was then in for 4 days so you can’t assume you’re just looking at a quick delivery and then home.

I was in hospital for 2 weeks with HELLP syndrome after I had my son. I went back to work when he was 4 months, it would have been 3 months if he hadn't been early. It was very tough

I wouldn't have been able to go back after two weeks, I was so emotional that I would burst into tears in the middle of normal everyday conversations. Also, my husband went back to work after just over two weeks, I was so emotional that I attached myself to his leg and begged him not to leave me alone with the baby....it was not my finest moment.

I had one child where I took a year to be at home, then I had another and went back to work and study at 3 weeks pp, there wasn’t a choice.

It was fine, but I was able to take the baby with me, so a big part of the emotional side was taken care of by the fact I was just doing my normal things, with baby on board rather than trying to sever that growing relationship.

I think it is beneficial to the baby if you take longer leave - that’s a point that hasn’t really been mentioned I see.

Physically, I'd have been OK after 2 weeks, for a fairly sedentary job, and that's with a planned section. My lochia was done in under that time, and tbh was just like a period - and I've worked through plenty of those. I understand that for some women it's heavier/goes on for longer, but I can't see how it could be a barrier to work personally.

Emotionally, I wouldn't have been ready, because I found my priorities changed, and all I cared about was my baby and family, and the idea of working would have seemed weird and trivial. I went back part time after 3 months. This time, I probably will do some work from about a month, but only a small amount of working from home (I'm self employed), not because I wouldn't physically be able to do more, but because there's more to life than work, and maternity leave and spending time bonding together is so important.

Return to work after 2 weeks? Yeah good luck with that (!)

I had to simple, super fast, no problem deliveries. I could never have gone back after 2 weeks. Sleep wise I didn’t know my arse from my head. Bleeding for 6 weeks. Hormonal. There is a reason we have maternity leave!

I went back to work after 2 weeks BUT I'm a childminder so work is an extension of my family IYSWIM. Meant I could bf without expressing etc.
All my little ones at the time had an afternoon nap so I could have a lie down on the settee at that time.
Not sure I could have functioned without a minikip in the afternoon TBH

Sleeplikeasloth I think lochia must vary so much from woman to woman. Mine was 4-6 weeks of heavy bleeding and then a couple of weeks which was closer to a period.I’m used to heavy periods but my lochia was quite limiting in a way I didn’t expect. I also had a PPH during delivery so I don’t know if there was a link to me just being prone to heavier bleeding.

It’s quite reassuring in some ways to hear people like you say it was only 2 weeks and ok as I’ve been assuming my second pregnancy would automatically be the same.

You have to think of emergency plans.

DD was fine but I had friends where the baby was in special care units for a week, a premature one, C-section where you are actually on medical leave for 8 weeks, tearing so you can’t sit.

So, it may all be well but even a normal birth is a major undertaking for your body and it needs time to heal.

This is why in the UK you are on medical maternity leave for 6 weeks, I think no employer can actually have you back earlier and you get a higher salary.

For most women totally unrealistic.

I think for many of us giving birth is like having a RTA.

Leaves your body, bruised, battered and torn.

Even if you don't breastfeed your breasts will be a leaky mess, you will still be bleeding a lot, you may be recovering from stitches to your vagina or a C section, your hormones are likely to be all over the place- you will tired, emotional and maybe weepy.

Don't underestimate the physical battering that your body takes giving birth.

It needs time to recover from that.

It depends on your job and the birth, it's quite common in the US to return after 6 weeks, that's the amount of time your body needs to heal from a normal uncomplicated delivery. I personally would suggest you budget for at least that, and it's full pay remember for 6 weeks!

Everyone is different I went back after 11 weeks after a horrendous delivery without a single regret. I had a physically demanding job and despite a 40 hour delivery with an episiotomy and instrument delivery I was fit enough from day one for even the hardest areas of the job. In fact in the week I did 7 of the most physically demanding procedures possible.
I hated hated hated maternity leave I adore my daughter, but loathe the baby stage. If I could of had a year off when she was four it would have been fab. I was lonely every day of maternity leave.
15 years on as I say I have regrets I went back to work it was excellent for my career and when my H left me 8 years after DD was born I was able to provide her with everything I wanted to.

I was physically recovered within a month but could have returned to work 2 weeks after the birth. The bleeding had stopped by then and my tummy muscles had contracted back to nearly normal.
I found it very hard being stuck indoors with a crying baby and think my mental health would have been better had I been able to go back to work earlier. Looking after a newborn is physically hard work as you have to lug pram/car seat/carry cot everywhere, plus all the lifting, bending, up all night feeding, having baby in a sling (surprisingly tiring) and then sterilising bottles or pumping your breasts.

Everyone's different and every job is different but staying at home with the baby isn't always the easy option!

Two weeks is a legal minimum after the birth.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t have done it. And my third (one and two was twins so not typical) was exceptionally easy and I was in hospital at 9am and home by 6pm. I breastfed very very easily too.

At a minimum I would suggest budgeting for 6 months off.

I’m also with @Lonecatwithkitten. I went back to work at 8 months both times. I would have liked time off now instead (ages 7 and 9).

I was back at work 4 weeks after a cat1 c-section and complications including a big haemorrhage and subsequent transfusions and iron tablets. I had two jobs working 55 hours a week. I was fine however it wasn't my choice to return as I had been forced to start mat leave very early due to pregnancy illness and the statutory leave was only 12 weeks in 1998. I wouldn't recommend it but sometimes needs must.

user1471426142, it must vary hugely!

I think they do give you a bit of a hoover inside with a section, which sometimes makes lochia lighter. It was heavy ish for a day or so, after that, I never even filled a maternity pad, so went straight onto regular pads, and and precautionary pantyliners after about a week. When I was discharged from the midwives after 2 weeks, they didn't ask how my lochia was, they just checked it had ended. So maybe it is a section thing!

I do have light 2/3 day periods though, so the other option is I'm just a bit spartan up there in general.

Sleepslikessloth it's definitely not a section thing for everyone. Second section I bled for 6 weeks although the last 2 were very light. The end of the first week I would still soak through a thick maternity pad if not changed during the night. Very heavy bleeding for two weeks with gushes, clots etc.

My baby is 5 months and it's not long enough! Would never have been ready at 2 weeks due to trying to establish feeding etc. Having said that, went back at 3 months with my first and could've gone sooner

I agree with all the other PPs that two weeks is not enough either physically or mentally.

We are in the US and the children finished for Christmas today. I had an email from her teacher this afternoon letting us know that she was starting her maternity leave now but would be back in mid-February. It is her first baby and my mind boggles how she will feel ready to do this,it is however quite normal here as they barely get any mat pay.

QueenCity or other American posters - but how does that work if you physically can't return to work though? Do you get moved onto sick pay or something? Or do you just occasionally have women showing back up at work who clearly shouldn't be there medically? Or do employers put them on light duty for a few weeks while they heal?

My mind is boggling about how 2weeks is even safe to be the norm in the US, I know the annual leave allowancces are terrible, but I can't wrap my head around practical questions about returning 2 weeks later e.g. what about the cases where you've been sent back home and labour is actually days away, or baby needs intensive care..?

I don't want to derail a thread but just how it's managed "on the ground" might help the OP understand what she's proposing too.

Agree with other posters that two weeks is nothing, especially when you consider potential complications etc.

My labour was quick but I lost huge amounts of blood and needed emergency surgery. DS and I both had sepsis too so the first 8 days were spent in hospital. Traumatic and just not something I ever planned for, because naively I guess I just never considered that having a baby is a huge thing for your body to go through. None of that could be planned for, things like that do just happen though and I know that two weeks postpartum I was certainly not ready to leave the house for too long let alone get back to work. Physically or emotionally.

I bled heavily for the first six weeks and my iron was really low. Adjusting to life with a newborn is hard work too.

I went back to work 4 months pp and even that was far too soon (from an emotional/mental health viewpoint) but finances meant I needed to get back to it.

Completely understand you may need to get back to work due to financial reasons but all I would say is have a contingency plan in place. I wish you all the best though and hopefully you have a very smooth sailing experience.

Most women dont manage to work right up to their due date so you need to factor a week or two for that as well.

Thanks again guys, I didn't know you get 90% for the first 6 weeks so I will get taking that. At my work they are really flexible and family orientated. I think we could deal with 3 months on a lower income and then DH could stop working when I return to work and I will look at UC.