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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to return work Christmas gift

225 replies

Noodella18 · 21/12/2018 09:25

Given an expensive hamper from work for Christmas (very lucky as it's been a tough year for them (small business) and I know lots of people don't get anything at all from their work.)

Hamper is from large department store. WIBU to return it and use the store credit for something that won't make us fat? I don't have the receipt, so is it even possible?

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 21/12/2018 13:51

I don't get this notion of " I feel guilty when there's so much to buy for the baby " YOU haven't bought the hamper!

It was a generous gift from your employer. Either give it away or enjoy it!

CoughLaughFart · 21/12/2018 14:07

Could you make it into smaller gifts for others? That might save you some cash that you can then put towards baby things.

WilburforceRaven · 21/12/2018 14:10

The CF is strong in this one, Master Yoda.

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 21/12/2018 14:12

Just enjoy it! You honestly should take every opportunity to relax and pamper yourself before baby comes, and after baby comes you will still need moments of peace and indulgence.

Xmas Smile
OlennasWimple · 21/12/2018 14:14

I doubt you can return it, but if you can and they will give you something for it...well, dont' tell your work about it and be certain that you would actually use the store credit and it wouldn't end up costing you more overall (Harrod's cot may be a little more than you wanted to spend, for example. John Lewis, maybe not)

Jaxhog · 21/12/2018 14:16

Be grateful and enjoy the contents. This was a lovely thing for your company to do. You don't have to eat it all at once!

Or drop it into a food bank. They WILL appreciate it.

Creatureofthenight · 21/12/2018 14:18

Save the chocolate for the night feeds. Believe me you’ll need it!

Gwenhwyfar · 21/12/2018 14:19

"Why do so many people not appreciate what they are given instead of thinking as you do, OP? It’s such an ungrateful attitude."

So people should like every gift they're given? Never going to happen is it.
I don't see how it's rude to return something if the giver never finds out.

SirGawain · 21/12/2018 14:19

Drop it at the food bank and make some other people’s christmas. You clearly don’t appreciate it so give it to someone who will.

This^^

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 21/12/2018 14:21

I think to return it would be a bit mean and ungrateful really.

I teach and at this time of year have loads of chocolate coming my way. I don't sit and eat it all at once. I share with colleagues, family , people coming round...We try to get through it all by Easter.

They have done a nice thing for you...enjoy feeling appreciated!

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 21/12/2018 14:23

And also, I feel very strongly that guilt and martyrdom and a sense of becoming a non-person without needs of one’s own once one is a mother is not a healthy thing for mum or baby or relationships, and I’d guard against it. As a point of principle I’d be saying to myself, how lovely, I’ve got this range of luxurious treats, and my having few nice things that have been gifted to me does not in any way take away from my baby.

Little babies often sleep better in a Moses basket, which is cheaper than a cot. It’s perfectly fine to get a pre-loved one as long as you buy a new mattress.

If you are planning to breastfeed then you only need a couple of bottles to begin with (if any). If you are going to bottle feed remember that baby does not care about branding or expense so just buy the best value you can find.

Baby will be most comfortable in baby gros for the first 4-6 months, plus half of them will be stained with poo by the time the first couple of months are gone, so no need to buy loads of cute outfits. He or she will grow a lot in the first few months so better not to buy too much in case it’s grown out too quickly.

Hope you manage to get the things you need!

Gwenhwyfar · 21/12/2018 14:26

"I think to return it would be a bit mean and ungrateful really. "

How is it mean?

Original poster
Noodella18 · 21/12/2018 14:28

@HolgerLowCarbingLoser thanks for the really thoughtful message. I hadn't thought about it in that way, but it's a really good point. I'll bear it in mind, thank you.

OP posts:
diddl · 21/12/2018 14:31

" feels a bit silly gorging myself on fancy chocolate when we don't even have a cot yet. "

But the hamper cost you nothing so buying baby stuff is irrelevant.

Sounds like a pretty good gift-is there nothing in it that you would have bought anyway?

hippoherostandinghere · 21/12/2018 14:31

I really want to see a picture of the hamper. Just enjoy the luxuries now and maybe hold a few back for when baby arrives.

Original poster
Noodella18 · 21/12/2018 14:42

@diddl not really, I haven't got much of a sweet tooth and it's very chocolate/sweet treat heavy! The booze I would get stuck into, but alas, baby...

OP posts:
sar302 · 21/12/2018 14:46

It's unlikely that a store will take back food products. It's Christmas, just say thank you very much, and then whenever you go to visit someone, take a bottle of wine or pack of biscuits or whatever from the hamper.
Plus you never know how welcome that food will be when you're up feeding a baby at 3am....

mirialis · 21/12/2018 14:47

I got given a fairly expensive (though not particularly thoughtful/personal) Christmas gift by an employer and I managed to exchange it at the shop for something I would actually use instead.

Don't get what all the fuss is about.

BumbleyBum · 21/12/2018 14:48

Don’t play the martyr, enjoy it. Because when your baby arrives you really will come last!

MobMoll · 21/12/2018 14:48

Also I think a corporate gift is completely different to a personal gift...so if you had said would it be cheeky to return a gift Aunt Mildred took ages planning and saving for etc it would be a different matter! A secretary went online with a budget they were given and picked out a few impersonal gift baskets for people. I received a gift basket with things like “Summer sausage” 😳 and red pepper jelly, nothing I would ever eat. And of course I appreciated the thought, I just thought it was a shameful waste.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/12/2018 14:51

"I don't get this notion of " I feel guilty when there's so much to buy for the baby " YOU haven't bought the hamper! "

I think she feels guilty because it's wasteful.

diddl · 21/12/2018 15:00

"I think she feels guilty because it's wasteful."

Surely only wasteful if Op throws it away?

mirialis · 21/12/2018 15:10

By the way OP - I had no lofty or martyrish reasons (e.g. baby on way) or whatever... just didn't like the gift my employer had given me so exchanged it for something I did like without a moment's hesitation. I have given my employees vouchers for this very reason.

jessstan2 · 21/12/2018 15:13

I agree, a food bank or a charity shop - charity shops raffle things like that at this time of year, they'd be delighted to have it. You could pop it in tomorrow.

It's a lovely gesture from your firm. The thing about hampers is, they usually contain a lot of stuff you wouldn't use. We've had them occasionally, the best ones are cheesy but you can't choose.

Giving away will give you pleasure or else you could share out the contents with friends and family.

Happy Christmas.

Original poster
Noodella18 · 21/12/2018 15:16

@Gwenhwyfar not wasteful so much as an unnecessary indulgence if the potential was there to swap it for something we need for the baby which we would use a lot and appreciate.

OP posts:
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