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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve just kicked my husband out...

83 replies

justaminutedarling · 20/12/2018 23:15

And there’s nobody I can tell
My dd witnessed a horrible argument this evening and all I can think is she must never see anything like that again but he’ll never stop lying and having pathetic little secrets. AIBU to destroy our amazing (on paper) life because I think I’m worth more than being lied too? I’m wrapping presents as if nothing has happened tonight - feeling so numb

OP posts:
Gravel1 · 22/12/2018 12:51

Can we kick our partners out just like that - i certainly wouldn't have just gone omg

KlutzyDraconequus · 22/12/2018 12:52

But then there is no point asking if YABU.

Venting can often be cathartic. Plus having people to talk to about issues is always good. Plus having a third, unconnected and unbiased view point, is often helpful.

insideoutsider · 23/12/2018 08:40

I see the OP never came back to the thread despite all the 'right-on!' posts she received. I hope she's ok.

In my opinion, everybody has a right to split whenever they like. BUT. She didn't just split, she made the decision on behalf of the 3 people living in the home that one of them must leave now because of 'lies' and 'secrets'. That seems unreasonable to me.

No one says she can't break the relationship up. We praise women who leave abusive relationships all the time and rightly so. The children happier for it. But this was 'lies'. I wonder if we'd cheer a man on if he said he kicked his wife out for lies she told and secrets she kept. Obviously, if there was violence, that would be entirely right to do.

My exH once 'kicked me out' of my home because he thought I was lying and cheating... There weren't even children involved. I can't begin to describe what that was like.

Original poster
justaminutedarling · 07/01/2019 03:12

I haven’t checked in on here for a while because I’ve been concentrating on my DD (DH was here for Christmas and we made it a wonderful day for her so pipe down all you ignorant a-holes)
We’ve talked, we’re friends (he’s admitted he has a problem and probably won’t change)
We’re sorting things out and DD is number one priority for both of us and she’s as happy and bubbly as ever

OMG the wise and brilliant things you awesome ladies have said have been so helpful thank you I read every message - skim read through the ignorant ones - life’s too short to waste time on them...ironically, of all people, DH would be the first to fight my corner if he saw the negative comments made about me!
I’m not going to made to feel guilty that it happened at Christmas either... he was the one that caused it to happen at Christmas, not me.
there’s no need to go in to the details of the lies - he knows what he’s done and of course it’s not trivial and as one lady pointed out, this one was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back 🙁
It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions from feeling empowered and relieved to overwhelmed and anxious. I’m wide awake at 3am and have to be up for work at 6 so clearly not adult enough to send myself to bed...Hmm
It’s late...I’m rambling...thanks again for thoughtful and supportive comments - I think I actually love some of you Grin
Over and out xx

OP posts:
ImaginingDragons · 07/01/2019 03:17

Wishing you well for the future

Nanalisa60 · 07/01/2019 08:20

I’m so pleased you had a wonderful day with your DD and DH on Christmas Day!! I’m sure you and your DH will make the wright decision about what to do next . In a childs mind as long as there parents are nice to each other and there is no shouting and she knows it’s not anything that she has done then a split can be done without to much stress. If you put your child first and are amicable then you will be able to move forward to a happy new life. If you decide to stay together then hopefully your dh has learnt a lesson. As I said to you before Christmas it’s only a decision you both can make.

VictoriaBun · 07/01/2019 08:27

You keep looking after yourself and your daughter. Good luck with work later. Best wishes for 2019.

BeatNickBeamer · 07/01/2019 11:51

Bloody hell of course op can kick her husband out because he's been lying to her even if he's not violent. Some of you clearly have low standards. HerDD witnessed a horrible argument and shouldn't have to live in that situation and be set a poor example of adult relationships. If op is the primary carer of her DD then clearly she needs to stay in the home and DH get out.

I also don't think anyone would say anything different had op been a man with a lying wife.

Some very odd responses.

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