For being furious that dh's boss called him a "kiddy fiddler"?

[angrywithboss]

dh came home from work yesterday, very upset, as his boss had been looking through some photos and said, "Look dh, you look like a kiddy fiddler in this one!" apparently she thought it was a huge joke.

as someone who actually has firsthand knowledge of "kiddy fiddlers" i find her comment very upsetting (although she doesn't know my history, obviously) - i don't really think it's something to be joked about, especially not in that context.

so i'm still feeling extremely upset and angry this morning, to the point where i want to email her and tell her what a stupid bitch she is - don't worry, i won't - but i also don't feel like it's any of my business really.

i've changed my name for this as i know she sometimes uses this site, and while i don't care if she knows who i am in RL i don't want her knowing my MN id.

I'd keep a note of it somewhere in case she ever behaves unprofessionally again. And if I were dh, I'd approach her informally and say that comment was inappropriate. And then I'd let it go - as someone said, a stupid comment from a stupid person.

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KM - no, he's not usually friendly with his boss. she is an awful boss, has terrible management skills, often "forgets" payslips or pay

Cod - you're right and i'm usually quite sanguine about things, but this is an issue i feel a bit strongly about.

the note is a good idea. i hadn't thought of something like that. i said he should try and have a quiet word with her today, but a note is better.

cod the phrase makes me shudder

really vile

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tutt out surely

that's silly cod

i didn't watch your fishy show but i am merrily discussing it with you

Madamez - she does often single him out for bullying though, this is the latest in a long line of incidents. because it's a small company and she's the MD though, there's not much he can do about it.

he is looking for a new job though!

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I think I'd take edam's line. Your dh needs to have a quiet word so that she realises that it's not appropriate to say these things, even if she thought she was joking

I really don't think the note is a good idea!
It seems a bit of a strange response - not cowardly, but a bit child-like.
(Not trying to be offensive, just thinking how I would view it if a member of staff handed me a note re this).
I honestly think he should say something to her, or leave it.

peeeeess off re marquee

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agree with cod [yawn]

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She sounds vile

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i've told him he needs to keep a diary of things like this, in case it ever does come to tribunal, but i haven't a clue how to get it to that stage without proper disciplinary procedures in place at the company.

ans also, it's not my problem. it's dh's problem and he needs to deal with it himself, but he won't cause he's such a pushover...the issue is really that he needs to grow a set of testicles.

yes am quite fond of Paula now

just because of that thread (myfinest hour)

tribunal

oh parp

at the risk of sounding like a kiss-ass

I read through the thread hoping and praying that someone would come on and say people were overreacting

ta cod

I hope you didn't tell him that

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what, that he needs to grow a set of testicles. not in so many words, no. the trouble is, if he does say something to her and she fires him then we're screwed. i'm still on mat leave with ds, and there's no way my single wage would keep a roof over our heads.