For being furious that dh's boss called him a "kiddy fiddler"?

[angrywithboss]

dh came home from work yesterday, very upset, as his boss had been looking through some photos and said, "Look dh, you look like a kiddy fiddler in this one!" apparently she thought it was a huge joke.

as someone who actually has firsthand knowledge of "kiddy fiddlers" i find her comment very upsetting (although she doesn't know my history, obviously) - i don't really think it's something to be joked about, especially not in that context.

so i'm still feeling extremely upset and angry this morning, to the point where i want to email her and tell her what a stupid bitch she is - don't worry, i won't - but i also don't feel like it's any of my business really.

i've changed my name for this as i know she sometimes uses this site, and while i don't care if she knows who i am in RL i don't want her knowing my MN id.

That is appalling bad taste and she should be told ( by your dh at the time preferably) that it's not acceptable and definitely not amusing.

And of course all "kiddy fiddlers" look the same.

I think your DH should take this to her boss - she cannot get away with making such comments.

he didn't say anything KM. think he was too shocked. i said he should've picked out a picture of her and "Oh look, in this one you look like a fat saggy bitter bitch, with a poor sense of humour."

it's a small company, so no chance of an HR dept or formal complaint, which is what would usually happen.

maybe she'll read this and realize how incredibly inappropriate that comment was. I would hope she's realize that.

thats disgraceful, she should def be reported.

yes Noodle, they obviously all wear a badge with KF on it.

she is the MD of the company so the buck stops there unfortunately.

how absolutely disgusting

basically calling him a peadophile..and that's funny, how , exactly??

outrageous, offensive and actually, very stupid

I would be mad too, its just not on imo.

that's revolting

saying it, and the words she chose

That sort of thing is nothing to joke about. He should say that he was upset.

the words she chose make it sound somehow less offensive than the correct terminology

Its also very unproffessional and he should tell her that to

do you think Tutter? IMO it's trivialising something which should not be joked about, in any circumstances. sorry but i have had total sense of humour failure on this one (and i'm usually the first to laugh, albiet cynically, at tasteless jokes)

KM - not a part of a union unfortunately, but the formal note is a good idea. i'll tell him.

am so very tempted to forward a link to this to his work email, i know she checks it.

I'd let it go as a stupid comment from a stupid person

I don't think a note would do any good.
Especially if this woman is the MD.
It may make things very difficult for your DH at work.
I do think he should mention it to her in a more informal way, though.
Something along the lines of "the phrase you used about me yesterday has really been playing on my mind, and actually I was upset and offended by it".

no, you misunderstand

the fact that she chose those words makes it worse

as though she were trying to trivialise the issue

which is even more offensive, imo

i want to zoo, i really do. but it's making me so angry just thinking about it!

ah Tutter. yes i totally agree.

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Let it go. I totally disagree that 'some things shouldn't be joked about' as everything is fair game for humour,(whterhe individuals find it funny or not) and it's not as though anyone was seriously suggesting that your DH behaves inappropriately around young people. Making a fuss makes hi look either like a touchy PITA who takse offense at everything, or as someone with something to hide.
The only time I would say it was worth taking any action at all would be if this person has a history of singling out your DH for unpleasant remarks - in which case there might be an issue of workplace bullying. Otherwise, forget it as a throwaway comment.