Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas card disagreement

70 replies

abacucat · 18/12/2018 15:44

DP and I were finishing writing Christmas cards last night. We did cards that we were giving out to people by hand. DP said that we had to give different cards to people who would be opening the cards at the same time. He said if a friend saw we had given another friend the same Christmas card, that that was rude. It showed we had not thought about what card we would give to them. I thought DP was just over thinking all this.

OP posts:
shumway · 18/12/2018 15:45

I'm with your DP on this but I am an overthinker.

SunnyScot89 · 18/12/2018 15:47

Yup... I make sure people who will see each other's cards all have different cards. The joys of multipack cards!!

kingscote · 18/12/2018 15:48

He's being ridiculous. Lots of people just buy a box of cards with the same picture on all of them. Why would someone be insulted to get the same card as someone else. What sort of thought should you put into what card you give someone? Surely the thought is in the fact that you actually sent them a card?

Original poster
abacucat · 18/12/2018 15:48

Oh God, maybe it is just me then and I have been rude for years without realising it.

OP posts:
MorelloKisses · 18/12/2018 15:49

I Only send one design

PrincessScarlett · 18/12/2018 15:49

And don't forget they have to be exactly the same size or else some people may take offence at getting a smaller card.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 18/12/2018 15:50

I always try to make sure people get different cards

Merryoldgoat · 18/12/2018 15:50

I literally would not think about this.
Also, if I got the same card as someone else it wouldn’t register.

NonaGrey · 18/12/2018 15:51

I refuse to believe that anyone in the history of the world has ever been offended by receiving a Christmas card which is the same as someone else.

If any of my relatives were silly enough to be offended by such nonsense they’d get short shrift.

ButteryParsnips · 18/12/2018 15:52

I think you should give the same ones to show you don't make differences between friends and treat them the same!

BreconBeBuggered · 18/12/2018 15:53

I even do that with ones I'm posting. I have to work out who might be visiting whose house, and nosing at their cards. So I can't even write 'Merry Christmas Auntie Jean' and the same to Uncle John - they have to have different messages of equal affection, even if the people involved live hundreds of miles apart. Because you never know who's visiting whom.
I used to so easygoing, I'm sure. Now I overthink as a perverse hobby.

Stephisaur · 18/12/2018 15:54

I’m the opposite to your husband! I get people who will see others’ cards the SAME card so that nobody can be upset that their card isn’t as special.

ToastyFingers · 18/12/2018 15:54

I do the same as your DH because I'm anal but I'd never be offended at receiving a card with the same design as someone else.

kingscote · 18/12/2018 15:59

In these days when so many people don't even bother to send a card and just write a hasty text late on Christmas Eve, the last thing that would bother me would be the picture on it, or if Aunty Mary received the same one.

I'm just glad someone went to the bother of writing out a card and posting it to me.

Original poster
abacucat · 18/12/2018 16:07

You see my DP said he would be offended at this. It simply would not register with me. I do try and vary what I write in cards though.

OP posts:
EmUntitled · 18/12/2018 16:08

I usually buy multipacks with 4 different designs. If I was giving out multiple cards at the same time I probably would try and give them different ones, but I wouldn't lose sleep if it didnt work out. And if there were 5 people there they would be getting a duplicate.

This year we have just used up all leftover cards from previous years, so different designs and sizes. Next year I dont think we will bother wit cards at all.

ExplodedPeach · 18/12/2018 16:17

I only ensure different cards for people in the same house.

E.g. if I was giving two relatives money/vouchers in a card and they lived together, I'd make sure the cards were different. Friends in different houses it would be pot luck!

diddl · 18/12/2018 16:24

"You see my DP said he would be offended at this. "

Well that's his problem!

Would he rather people didn't bother with him?

Then he would have something to moan about.

TowerRingInferno · 18/12/2018 16:24

I’m another one who does the opposite: the same card to everyone so then nobody takes offence and thinks they have an inferior card.

jessstan2 · 18/12/2018 16:25

I always try to give different cards to people who will open at the same time. Also try to remember not to send an identical card to the one sent last year (though I don't mind if I receive one like that, I think it's quite funny to get the same picture as last yea. Yes I have a photographic memory). I always have a great box full of different cards, don't really need to buy any for years especially as less are sent than previously but I do love them.

My husband takes a big envelope of different Christmas cards to work with him which he writes and distributes.

busybarbara · 18/12/2018 16:26

This is as bad as when the media says that Kate Middleton has "recycled" a dress simply because she wore something more than once. Or, shock horror, that you wear the same dress as someone else at a wedding. Life is too short to worry about this nonsense.

redfruitgum · 18/12/2018 16:27

Everyone knows that you get multiple same cards in the pack. If anyone is offended by receiving the same cards then I just hope it doesn't ruin their xmas but it's no skin off my nose

ChocolateTearDrops · 18/12/2018 16:29

My cards are all the same design in the pack. Everyone gets the same.

MeredithGrey1 · 18/12/2018 16:31

The only time I would think about this is if I knew two cards would go to the same house, so they don't have the same cards displayed, but that's not to avoid offending, its just because I think its nicer displaying different cards.

Otherwise, no. When you say your DH says that it would show you hadn't thought about what card to give them, does anyone really think about what card to give people? I buy a pack with maybe 4 designs, but I don't spend time mulling over whether my friend is more of a reindeer or a snowman kind of person, and I wouldn't expect people to think about it when giving me a card.

Rafflesway · 18/12/2018 16:32

I like classy, one design cards for general use.

Only buy different ones for direct family and my closest friend.