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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drivers waiting for a space in shopping centre car parks

133 replies

Lydiaatthebarre · 17/12/2018 14:00

Earlier today there was a queue of traffic backed out onto the main road from my local shopping centre car park - all caused by a driver sitting with his indicator on waiting for someone to unpack loads of shopping into the boot of her car, get two toddlers strapped in and leave the trolley back at a nearby bay.

AIBU to think that, yes, finding parking can be difficult at this time of year, but no, that doesn't mean that common sense and consideration for others (including the very stressed looking mother trying to get packed up and out of the space as quickly as possible because she was probably mortified at the hold up) goes out the window?

OP posts:
Dongdingdong · 17/12/2018 15:56

When I am driving I tend to ignore them or wave them on with a cheery smile and then sit there whilst my car defrosts or heats up and check my emails and messages before I set off.

So you're happy to play your part in causing a backup of traffic because you want to "check your emails". Nice. It's stressful enough this time of year getting everything sorted without people like you making it even more difficult. Why not just show a bit of basic courtesy and kindness and vacate the space so the next person can use it?

DGRossetti · 17/12/2018 16:01

The car park to the Touchwood shopping centre in Solihull works on a car-counting system. You can't enter unless/until there's a space free.

Last time we were there, we wanted to get to the BB parking in the Shopmobility area. However the only way in is via the main entrance. So we had to queue until the "regular" car park had a space before we could enter and get to the BB spaces. When we did they were 90% free :(

As I said - isn't online great.

italiancortado · 17/12/2018 16:01

Because I’m an arsehole, if someone does this while I’m filling the boot, I close it and walk back into the shop. I hate feeling rushed.

I'm an arsehole too sometimes 🙋🏻‍♀️

I don't mind if I'm almost done and someone's waiting without causing problems. However, if I clearly have lots of shopping, DC's and possibly a buggy with me and you stop and wait whilst causing a hold up, I am absolutely going back in the shop because I have forgotten something

theymademejoin · 17/12/2018 16:02

I agree it's frustrating if they're blocking traffic from getting past but I don't understand people driving around until a space becomes free.

I generally pick a lane, tuck myself in at the end of it, and wait for someone to come back and free up a space. Obviously, this assumes there is enough space in the lane for another car to get past you, but there are very few where, if you pull in close to the cars parked, there isn't enough space. It's much more relaxing than driving around and getting frustrated at just missing spaces.

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 17/12/2018 16:03

@Dongdingdong I paid for the parking and I don't see why I should vacate the space before I am ready because some moron is sat there with their indicator on.

Why should I not ensure my car is sufficiently defrosted or that all mails and calls are made before I start my journey?

Don't be a pious twat.

Dongdingdong · 17/12/2018 16:05

Don't be a pious twat.

Ha - and that tells me everything I need to know about you, if your previous post didn't already.

YankOnTheShelf · 17/12/2018 16:06

She simply huffed and said "But I wanted it "

Sadly, there are people who think that the sun shines out of their arse and that the rest of us simply exist for their convenience. When confronted with circumstances that indicate otherwise, they are stunned by a condition called cognitive dissonance. They cannot reconcile the conflict of desire and reality.

theymademejoin · 17/12/2018 16:09

Those of you objecting to someone sitting waiting for your space - do you only object of they are blocking traffic or just object generally? And if so, what is it that you find so objectionable?

If someone is not blocking traffic, why is it an issue if they wait for you to get out? It's generally quicker to just wait than to go round and round, hoping to happen upon someone just about to vacate their spot. If they're being rude or impatient that's different, but most people aren't, they just wait patiently.

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 17/12/2018 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dongdingdong · 17/12/2018 16:15

@Dongdingdong my pleasure! Was lovely chatting. Now off you fuck!

Wow - what an unpleasant and incredibly rude person you are. But then anyone who resorts to name-calling and swearing within the space of two posts clearly isn't big on brain cells.

Thentherewascake · 17/12/2018 16:18

If a driver is just waiting with his indicators on, why do you feel under pressure? A space is going to be free, he has chosen to wait instead of risking driving around 4 or 5 times until another one gets free.

You have to be ridiculously petty to decide to go slower. Manners cost nothing, you don't have to rush but how stupid to make them wait longer because you enjoy it.

Some posters are beyond ridiculous, honestly.

sparklepops123 · 17/12/2018 16:18

My dh was sat in a car park the other day, on his phone when some random woman came up tapping on the window rushing him to leave because she wanted the space! She didn’t get it

Jaxhog · 17/12/2018 16:19

If they're waiting for my space like this, I'm afraid I would just take my time. It's a shitty thing to do - for the parked car and everyone waiting.

I've never seen anyone get away with standing in a space! Does it work?

Dongdingdong · 17/12/2018 16:19

If a driver is just waiting with his indicators on, why do you feel under pressure? A space is going to be free, he has chosen to wait instead of risking driving around 4 or 5 times until another one gets free.

You have to be ridiculously petty to decide to go slower. Manners cost nothing, you don't have to rush but how stupid to make them wait longer because you enjoy it.

Some posters are beyond ridiculous, honestly.

Precisely.

Jaxhog · 17/12/2018 16:22

If someone is not blocking traffic, why is it an issue if they wait for you to get out?

If they aren't blocking traffic then it isn't really a problem. But they often do, which is especially annoying if you're queing behind them having passed the payment camera. I once saw someone do this and block the exit traffic. The car in front of me had to get the attendant, as they'd queued so long they'd overstayed the exit time limit. The attendant had to let everyone out!

SundayGirls · 17/12/2018 16:24

I don't know, maybe he thought she would be quicker.

I have 3 DCs and I'm able to get them all in the car, get the shopping in and return the trolley fairly quick-smart. I've waited for spaces at our local nursery where the parent has taken AAAAAAAGES and I mean ages to put the child in the car seat, a bit of faffing, going over to the other side of the car, more faffing, getting in the car, sitting checking texts for a minute or two then finally switching on the engine but not reversing for another minute or two, then finally reversing (badly, usually) all whilst a huge queue builds up because it goes in a circle and if you drove past you wouldn't be able to either exit or rejoin the circle going in without great difficulty due to the angle of the circle.

Some parents really take their time and it pisses me right off to be honest, and I say this as a parent of 3 (3 under age 5 back in the day) so I know exactly how it is.

Jaxhog · 17/12/2018 16:26

I generally pick a lane, tuck myself in at the end of it, and wait for someone to come back and free up a space.

Beware of doing this. Some carparks will assume you've parked without a ticket! TBH, I'm not patient enough to do this anyway.

m00rfarm · 17/12/2018 16:26

Usually I would agree. But in Watford I went with my son just before Christmas and we had to park right at the top of the multi storey. We left at 5.30pm as we had to be in Windsor for dinner with relations at 7pm. We should have been there at 6.30 easily. At 7pm, we were STILL trying to leave the car park. From then on I have refused to go above level 3 of this particular car park and I don't actually CARE if someone has to wait five minutes for me to get a parking spot - I am NOT spending hours trying to leave a car park ever again!

In the end (on this particular day) they raised the barriers and did not even ask people to put their tickets in to prove they had paid. But there was so much traffic coming along the ring road that it still did not help the situation.

italiancortado · 17/12/2018 16:26

I have 3 DCs and I'm able to get them all in the car, get the shopping in and return the trolley fairly quick-smart.

🏅 ?

Ever consider that just maybe we are not all the same and some of us have a physical barrier to being 'quick-smart'

SundayGirls · 17/12/2018 16:27

Jaxhog Why would you go all the slower just because someone dares to wait for your space? Haven't you ever waited for a space yourself? Why don't you just go about your business in the same timely fashion as if someone was waiting or not? I don't get the attitude of "someone's waiting, so I'll make them wait longer". It's petty.

SundayGirls · 17/12/2018 16:27

Italian Quite clearly that's different isn't it.

italiancortado · 17/12/2018 16:28

Indeed it is.

Arnoldthecat · 17/12/2018 16:28

Yes,,there is a mega Tesco near me and it pisses me off that though there are plenty of parking spaces, so many lazy bastards think they are a special case and pull up right to the door/park in the alleged pick up area,park on the nearby street which has double yellow lines because they are too lazy to enter the car park...Im talking Stockport BTW.

Thentherewascake · 17/12/2018 16:34

Ever consider that just maybe we are not all the same and some of us have a physical barrier to being 'quick-smart'

oh for crying out loud, there's always one

oh4forkssake · 17/12/2018 16:36

So, in relation to Christmas car park twattery, I've been considering posting this, and since this thread has presented itself, (YANBU OP, it's maddening), what do the MN jury think of this?

We were in a very busy car park (moi, DH, 2 DCs, one still in a five point harness that she can't do up herself so I need to be able to wedge my ample buttocks in the door to do her up).

A P&C space was coming free at the end of a row, so we drew up alongside and indicated (plenty room to get past us - that's not the point). People pulled out a couple of seconds after we pull up, DH went into reverse and started moving to notice that someone is driving into the space, forward, at a diagonal. DH slammed on the brakes so as not to hit her. I jumped out and said, "This is a P&C space, and we have children." To which she said "I have a blue badge. That trumps P&C!". The row opposite us was for disabled drivers, and there were cars pulling out so she could have used one of those. I decided it was Christmas, and didn't want the argument, so got back in and within a few minutes we managed to get a non P&C space, and on the way home, I just about managed to get DD2 into the car without denting the car next to me.

I recognise that IAMBU as this description would be easier with a diagram, but the punchline is should she have been able to nick our space? Do P&C spaces default to disabled ones? Also, I recognise that disabled spaces are a legal right, whereas P&C spots aren't, and would never, ever, park in a disabled spot, but if it's NOT a disabled spot, do blue badges get priority?

Also, her blue badge wasn't on display when she was parking, but I checked, and it was there when she was parked.

I felt bloody irritated somewhat aggrieved for about five minutes when it happened, was I unreasonable to feel that?