To remind everyone you don’t have to alternate Christmas?

[RhiWrites]

I see so many posts from people who have got locked into a cycle of Christmas with parents one year and in-laws the next, so every year involves travelling.

I used to do this too but then I introduced a three year cycle. Parents, in-laws, home. I really enjoy all three kinds of Christmas that much more knowing one in three is focused on our traditions in our own home.

If you’re struggling with pleasing everyone then consider that travelling isn’t obligatory. Set up a new cycle now and prepare the way to have the kind of Xmas you want.

My ILs are dead and my parents don't want to see me on Christmas Day. I don't get on with the golden child (my older sister) so I'm not welcome. Until now, I've been allowed to visit on Boxing Day, but this year I can't be arsed. My parents will whinge about being kept away from their only grandchildren, but that's really not my problem (and they've shown zero interest in the kids anyway).

I'd love to have wider family visiting or have somewhere to go and be welcomed, but I don't. We have a full house though and Christmas Day is busy and loud and generally joyous.

When my kids are adults they will of course be welcome to come home at Christmas, but I won't expect it. I'd feel sad if I didn't get a phone call, but I'd be fine on my own.

We done the half day Xmas for 7 years (both parents love int eh same county) but vowed once we had a child we would be at home.

Have done so the past 3 years and have loved it will never go back. We invite family to us (we love 4 hours away but my mum recently moved closer) only my family take us up on the offer and we have a lovely relaxed Xmas. My husband now hates his mums Xmas as it's boring and full of booze.

Chopc. I totally agree with you. There is no way I’d let my DPs or ILs spend Christmas alone, unless they wanted to of course.

You do have to really when you live abroad (in a third country different to where either set of grandparents is based).

My husband and I have lived together for 10 years and been married for 7. Even once we were married we both just went our separate ways at Christmas (him to his parents, me to mine).

This year, however, is our first Christmas with our son, and we are staying where we live as he is still only 6 weeks old (and, IMO, a bit young to travel). My family are travelling to be with us for this reason and my inlaws will visit in the new year. However, it's highly likely that Christmas 2019 will be spent at my inlaws - especially as a) I haven't visited them - or indeed seen them at all - since Christmas 2017 [we will probably spend Easter with them in 2019 though], and b) they will probably only get to see their grandson 2-3 times a year total in general just because they live so far away. Christmas 2020 will have to be at my parents' I suppose, again because when you have family abroad things are different. You don't have them there on a day-to-day/local basis so these special times of year matter more.

We have every year at home on Christmas Day. Boxing Day is thrown open to whoever wants to come.

@fairyliz I think it would depend on the circumstances. My 80 year old aunt will be in her carehome on Christmas Day. She will be safe and looked after and it’s the best option for her in her circumstances.

I don’t have children myself so it’s just me and my partner. We travel a lot at Xmas to see the people with children who’d rather not. As we get older maybe it will be more possible for them to come to us.

I think there are lots of ways to celebrate Christmas, with or without the people you love.

We have never really done a cycle. It’s been a case of who’s house we’re we living at.

We normally stay with in-laws for Xmas Eve and Xmas Day, then straight to my parents for a couple of days, then vice versa the following year. They're both a 4hr car journey away from us, but not very far from each other.
We're doing Christmas at home just the 4 of us this year, which dh is really happy about, but I'd rather be at family in spite of the drive tbh!

when we are in our 80s though our kids will be grown up
Mine will be teens but if my DM is able to welcome them as they are (both of them) then I'll be happy to spend Christmas with her. But so far it's not looking good.