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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Furious re chickenpox

137 replies

Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:25

I am a TA at DS school.
Lunchtime last Tuesday I saw one of the kids sitting out ready to go home that is in DS class. When I asked his teacher she was really mad and said she saw spots on him as he was getting ready for PE and thought chickenpox. The teacher rang mum who said “oh yes I thought it was but sent him in anyway as he was ok in himself”. Apparently chemist has confirmed chickenpox

During the weekend I had contact with 2 mum from DS class who have both come down with chicken pox

Anyway last night my DS was not himself and this morning had woken up covered in spots. He will miss his nativity play, school Christmas party and all the other good things happening that week. I will also have to take today and tomorrow off to look after him as grandparents can’t help till Wednesday. It also looks like DS is really going to suffer as I think he has then in his eyes whereas this other boys dose was really mild

Livid is not the word. Ok he could have got them anyway but it’s a bloody coincidence. And to top it all off the mum who sent the boy in orginally is a stay at home mum so could not use the excuse she had to get to work.

God knows how many other kids have gone down with it. They have been reversing the nativity with 2 other classes so they have been exposed to it. Also to top it all off DS teacher is pregnant (luckily has had them). How can anyone be so stupid

OP posts:
Sirzy · 17/12/2018 07:27

As wrong as the other mum was to send in it sounds like it is in the school so would have done the rounds anyway. I remember a few years back ds school has such an outbreak the playa where cancelled due to lack of children!

Random18 · 17/12/2018 07:29

Kids will get Chickenpox. And you can almost guarantee it will be at worst possible time.
If you really didn’t want that to be the case then you should have got the vaccine.

I’m still waiting for my youngest to get them. But it is what it is.
I send my eldest to nursery with a spot. It later clicked when I was at work that it may be chickenpox. Sure enough I got the phone all late afternoon. It’s just one of these things

ringoargh · 17/12/2018 07:30

The child was infectious for some time before the spots came out, tbh it wouldn’t have made any difference to whether or not it went round school. Also the incubation period is 2 weeks, your son was been infectious himself for weeks! Livid is pointless
On a separate note, it’s not kind to send a sick child in for others to deal with, or expose more than is needed beyond those he’s seen anyway

SweetSummerchild · 17/12/2018 07:30

Chicken pox has a long incubation period, so the chances are your DS caught it elsewhere.

When DS had chicken pox, he caught it from a friend who came out in spots the day after we saw her. He came out in spots three weeks later.

He then gave it to the entire nursery. Thank God none of the other nursery parents blamed me.

The most infectious time is before any spots are visible.

Iknowthatguy · 17/12/2018 07:31

They probably would have gotten it anyway but of course if they were showing signs they should have been off school.

Should the teacher have been telling you about the medical condition of a child in a different class? I'd have thought these kind of things were 'need to know' only.

Original poster
Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:32

The odd spot I get as you just don’t know but this boys torso was covered and the Mum also admitted it was covered that morning.
Ok yes it can do the rounds but you don’t add to the problem surly especially with a pregnant teacher as well

OP posts:
Wooooooooaaaaaaaahhhhhhh · 17/12/2018 07:32

Children are infectious before the spots appear so it’s highly likely your child would have got them anyway. As much as she shouldn’t have sent him in with them of course.

It’s bad timing but it’s just one of those things.

Original poster
Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:33

I am a TA in one of the other classes in question so have been asked to look for signs in the other kids.

OP posts:
NOTthepinkranger · 17/12/2018 07:35

You’ve been asked to look for signs? Isn’t that going a bit beyond Hmm

Original poster
Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:35

Ok maybe I am overreacting but I was just so cross this morning to see DS covered in spots. Not cross with him of course.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:37

I have not been asked to check the kids one by one but just keep an eye out in case we see any spots or if the kids start feeling unwell. Just a general this may be passed on to other kids so be aware kind of thing

OP posts:
RiddleyW · 17/12/2018 07:38

But presumably you knew DS was going to get it sooner or later if you didn’t vaccinate.

Original poster
Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:38

Also I am in early pregnancy so obviously wanted to check I had had it

OP posts:
Original poster
Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:40

Yes I did assume he would get it. I guess I just don’t understand how a parent can send their kid in knowing they have it. I have calmed down a bit now and am thinking more sensibly

OP posts:
ringoargh · 17/12/2018 07:40

Looking on the bright side, Christmas is a great period for staying in and watching films etc snuggled up. You won’t need an adult to take lots of time of with him in the holiday period and chances are he’ll feel fine in himself, just be spotty for a bit

DinoMamasaurus · 17/12/2018 07:41

Totally wrong to send a child if you think CP. Seems to crop up a lot that there is little concern for others and especially the immune compromised/vulnerable.

But I think the incubation period is 10-21 days so possible they were all exposed sometime earlier? Presumably by another child in the school so same issue really. Also think there is a small window before spots appear when it’s catching also. These things do the rounds but everyone should do what they can to protect others. Also CP seems to strike at the worst times in a soda law type way - busy weeks, holidays, flights etc!

Hope your DS is feeling better soon. I found oat baths really good for spots on body when mine had it. Around the eyes sounds horrid. So rotten for him to have to miss all the last week Christmassy stuff.

Original poster
Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:41

My initial feeling was rage but I have calmed down now and am thinking more rationally

OP posts:
Fatted · 17/12/2018 07:43

I was going to say, it's about a 2 week period between catching the virus and coming out in spots. There was about a week/ten days between my two breaking out in spots. As soon as one got better, the other caught it a million times worse.

I know it's a pain and upsetting to miss the nativity etc. Last year we had a December of disasters when I had DS home from school for one reason and another, including snow days, sickness and a fire that closed the entire area. DH ended up missing his nativity because it got rearranged. Unfortunately these things happen and you have to teach your DC resilience in the face of it.

The advantage is hopefully your DC will be over the worst of it by Christmas. If you haven't already, get the cooling gel for chicken pox and an antihistamine. My eldest has it really bad earlier this year but they both really helped.

coffeeforone · 17/12/2018 07:44

I think YABU to be so furious. If your DS is not vaccinated then he would likely get them at some point. As others have said it's highly likely that he was going to come out in spots anyway as the incubation period is weeks not days.

This is the reason I got my DS vaccinated. They seem to catch at the worst time which I wanted to avoid.

NonaGrey · 17/12/2018 07:46

Although I agree with you completely that she shouldn’t have sent him in with chickenpox, the boy would have been infectious before his spots came out so had probably already infected everyone before his Mum could have known he was ill.

Just as your son was infecting other classmates last week.

I hope your DS feels better soon, chickenpox can be miserable.

MyOtherProfile · 17/12/2018 07:48

Seriously, you work in a school. There will be risk of catching CP at any time because as pps have said, the risk of infection is present ages before the spots appear.

The mum was wrong but realistically no extra damage was done.

ltk · 17/12/2018 07:49

At least he will be past the worst by Christmas, so it won't ruin his day. YABU to blame this on the other mum, as regardless your dc would have been exposed.

Horses4 · 17/12/2018 07:49

I would be furious because my daughter is on two potent immunosuppressants and catching chickenpox could have serious consequences. People just think it’s a minor illness and it doesn’t matter because they’ll all get it anyway.

dementedpixie · 17/12/2018 07:51

You are only infectious for 1-2 days before the spots appear so they wouldn't be infectious for ages as some pp say. The incubation period is 10-21 days but you aren't infectious for that whole period.

The child shouldn't have been in with active chicken pox.

chumbal · 17/12/2018 07:51

Pretty irresponsible to be honest however Chickenpox has an incubation period of up to 21 days so he was infectious long before the spots arrived so chances are he would have spread it anyway Sad
Your son will be well in time for xmas however sadly others will not Angry