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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Furious re chickenpox

137 replies

Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:25

I am a TA at DS school.
Lunchtime last Tuesday I saw one of the kids sitting out ready to go home that is in DS class. When I asked his teacher she was really mad and said she saw spots on him as he was getting ready for PE and thought chickenpox. The teacher rang mum who said “oh yes I thought it was but sent him in anyway as he was ok in himself”. Apparently chemist has confirmed chickenpox

During the weekend I had contact with 2 mum from DS class who have both come down with chicken pox

Anyway last night my DS was not himself and this morning had woken up covered in spots. He will miss his nativity play, school Christmas party and all the other good things happening that week. I will also have to take today and tomorrow off to look after him as grandparents can’t help till Wednesday. It also looks like DS is really going to suffer as I think he has then in his eyes whereas this other boys dose was really mild

Livid is not the word. Ok he could have got them anyway but it’s a bloody coincidence. And to top it all off the mum who sent the boy in orginally is a stay at home mum so could not use the excuse she had to get to work.

God knows how many other kids have gone down with it. They have been reversing the nativity with 2 other classes so they have been exposed to it. Also to top it all off DS teacher is pregnant (luckily has had them). How can anyone be so stupid

OP posts:
herethereandeverywhere · 17/12/2018 07:52

...... and this is why I paid to vaccinate my two. I had a Xmas ruined by chicken pox (age 7) missed all the best things going on in school and the massive extended family get together on Xmas day. I was also really unwell and uncomfortable with it - I still remember it clearly and I'm 42 now.

I'm so sorry for you and your son but vaccination is the only way to massively reduce the odds. Countries like Oz and US vaccinate automatically and can't understand why we'd let our kids suffer instead.

ISdads · 17/12/2018 07:53

Yanbu to be furious with the mum, but you can't blame her actions for the other cases of cp as the time between them is too short.

My son had to have injections then antivirals after every known exposure and was very very ill when he eventually caught them. Some parents are just selfish dicks.

sashh · 17/12/2018 07:56

Sounds shit OP.

If you are in contact with other mums could you arrange something in / with the school for the children who miss out this week? Maybe redo the nativity play or have a second party?

Should the teacher have been telling you about the medical condition of a child in a different class? I'd have thought these kind of things were 'need to know' only.

When it is an infectious disease it becomes a health and safety issue.

FruitCider · 17/12/2018 07:57

If you were so worried why didn't you pay to have your child vaccinated?

SummerGems · 17/12/2018 07:58

She was wrong to send him in but he will have been infectious before he came out in spots anyway. And

When my DS had CP the spots came out over the weekend but I still contacted all the parents I knew to let them know as their DC will have been in contact with him on the days prior.

Troels · 17/12/2018 08:00

It's rubbish getting Chicken pox over Christmas, but you are wrong to blame this Mum, chances are, your Ds was exposed at the same time as this child, only yours took a week more to come out. The whole class and more have been exposed so lots will be ill over Christmas.
I missed my nativity with mumps one year, he'll get over it.

HoppingPavlova · 17/12/2018 08:03

We have it on the schedule here at 18mths with a catch up program for those who are currently teens and who missed it (put on schedule after they were 18mths of age).

It wasn’t on the schedule when mine were young but it was available so I paid for them to have it. If you can’t afford it that’s completely understandable but if you can then it’s a no-brainer.

Jamiefraserskilt · 17/12/2018 08:05

Kids get sick. They rarely do so at a convenient time. However, the parent, knowing he was sick, sent him into school. Poor lad must have been feeling rough. What she should have done is to keep him off and let the school know he had a contagious condition so other parents would be warned rather than hope no one noticed.

Thesmallthings · 17/12/2018 08:09

Easter and December are prime times for chicken pox.

Like you know he's have got it any way. It's annoying but hopefully he won't be toneffected by it.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 17/12/2018 08:10

You're not wrong to be livid. Yes it's contagious before the spots appear so he probably would have caught it anyway. However that doesn't mean that official NHS and any doctors advice should be ignored - advice is to avoid people until spots has scabbed over, to limit it's spread even further. This is in most nursery's and schools sickness policies as well so she is breaching this. Knowing that other kids might have been exposed anyway is not an excuse to deliberately expose anyone and everyone.

Iknowthatguy · 17/12/2018 08:20

When it is an infectious disease it becomes a health and safety issue.

Yes, but I'm surprised the child was identified.

TheTroublesomestTribble · 17/12/2018 08:23

Had you vaccinated your child, this wouldn't even be an issue.

LIZS · 17/12/2018 08:25

If it was only last Tuesday , your dc did not catch it from this child as it takes 10-21 days ro appear and it was probably already incubating from previous contact.not responsible parenting to send him nonetheless as other children may not have got it initially but might now over Christmas.

dementedpixie · 17/12/2018 08:26

Hardly anyone vaccinates for it in the UK and I certainly didn't. Regardless she shouldn't have sent him in with unscabbed chicken pox spots

TheTroublesomestTribble · 17/12/2018 08:26

can't understand why we'd let our kids suffer instead

Its because having live CP floating around boosts the immunity of the elderly population.

To be blunt, our children suffering is cheaper for the state than a widespread vaccination program that would have the same effect.

Its shocking, but people are so quick to trust the NHS and Public Health England that they fail to look closely enough at the financial motivation behind policy.

Engorged · 17/12/2018 08:30

Well your ds didn't catch it from him but the mum's still an ignorant or perhaps arrogant wanker for sending in her son especially given at least one teacher could (and is) pregnant. Not to mention that some kids may be vulnerable immune wise too.

Get some poxclin and ket your midwife know.

fuzzyduck1 · 17/12/2018 08:30

I can remember back in the day if a kid went down with chicken pox /measles etc other mums would bring there kids to play with them so they would catch it then build up an immunity to it for later life.

Engorged · 17/12/2018 08:39

fuzzyduck1 i went to a pox party back in the day, luckily i have just a few scars ftom it. I also rode in the car in a moses basket and luckily wasn't killed on the drives.

NowApparently · 17/12/2018 08:39

Why are people still treating chickenpox like it's a right of passage? A very effective vaccine exists. Save your kids the discomfort if you can and help protect the immunocompromised at the same time.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 17/12/2018 08:43

You shouldn’t knowingly expose others, but assuming this is reception/year 1, then it spreads like wildfire through any kids that aren’t immune regardless of whether parents send the kids in with spots or not. I doubt one child going in with spots has made much difference.

As others have said, the timings don’t match up either. I suspect the boy wasn’t the first to come down with chicken pox, or your DS has picked it up elsewhere. In any case the two other boys and possibly your DS have exposed whoever they were working/playing with at the end of last week.

He might not miss the nativity. There’s a good chance it might be cancelled anyway.

Tinyteatime · 17/12/2018 08:44

I learnt from MN that the reason there isn’t an NHS vaccination programme is because take up would not be enough to ensure herd immunity in the adult population (so we have antivaxers to thank basically). As CP is generally mild in childhood but is more likely to be dangerous in adulthood, the best way to ensure lots of adults don’t get nasty bouts of cp is to ensure most people get it as kids by not vaccinating. It’s not about old people specifically. NHS policy does generally put what it best for the health of the population as a whole first, whilst this won’t be better for individual kids who get cp of course. But sadly there are many people who are ignorant and will ignore advice to take up the vaccine. Agree with others op, annoying as it is he would have probably caught it regardsless.

SoupDragon · 17/12/2018 09:07

It would have gone round the class anyway as he was contagious the week before but that's not the point really. You simply don't send your child in when you know they have probably chicken pox and, if your child is covered in spots, they most likely have chickenpox! The other was an idiot.

But presumably you knew DS was going to get it sooner or later if you didn’t vaccinate.

How is that relevant? There are many people who can't be vaccinated for whatever reason.

FruitCider · 17/12/2018 09:08

I learnt from MN that the reason there isn’t an NHS vaccination programme is because take up would not be enough to ensure herd immunity in the adult population (so we have antivaxers to thank basically). As CP is generally mild in childhood but is more likely to be dangerous in adulthood, the best way to ensure lots of adults don’t get nasty bouts of cp is to ensure most people get it as kids by not vaccinating. It’s not about old people specifically. NHS policy does generally put what it best for the health of the population as a whole first, whilst this won’t be better for individual kids who get cp of course. But sadly there are many people who are ignorant and will ignore advice to take up the vaccine. Agree with others op, annoying as it is he would have probably caught it regardsless.

Sorry but that's not a good enough reason to expect parents to put their own child at risk of blindness or sepsis. If adults know they haven't had chickenpox it's their responsibility to ensure they have immunity through vaccination rather than relying on my child catching a preventable disease 🙄 we are one of the very few western countries not to vaccinate against varicella, so I can't see a good reason for abstaining against it.

SoupDragon · 17/12/2018 09:09

It's interesting how the responses on this are of a different tone to those on a thread where someone asks if they can take their child shopping when they have chicken pox.

SoupDragon · 17/12/2018 09:10

There's nothing stopping parents from vaccinating their child privately.