Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Furious re chickenpox

137 replies

Wigwambam10 · 17/12/2018 07:25

I am a TA at DS school.
Lunchtime last Tuesday I saw one of the kids sitting out ready to go home that is in DS class. When I asked his teacher she was really mad and said she saw spots on him as he was getting ready for PE and thought chickenpox. The teacher rang mum who said “oh yes I thought it was but sent him in anyway as he was ok in himself”. Apparently chemist has confirmed chickenpox

During the weekend I had contact with 2 mum from DS class who have both come down with chicken pox

Anyway last night my DS was not himself and this morning had woken up covered in spots. He will miss his nativity play, school Christmas party and all the other good things happening that week. I will also have to take today and tomorrow off to look after him as grandparents can’t help till Wednesday. It also looks like DS is really going to suffer as I think he has then in his eyes whereas this other boys dose was really mild

Livid is not the word. Ok he could have got them anyway but it’s a bloody coincidence. And to top it all off the mum who sent the boy in orginally is a stay at home mum so could not use the excuse she had to get to work.

God knows how many other kids have gone down with it. They have been reversing the nativity with 2 other classes so they have been exposed to it. Also to top it all off DS teacher is pregnant (luckily has had them). How can anyone be so stupid

OP posts:
Dariosa · 17/12/2018 09:10

Given how long the incubation period is, your child must have contracted this at least 10 days ago, long before this other boy developed spots.

RandomObject · 17/12/2018 09:12

Oh your poor ds, hopefully he isn't too gutted to miss out and doesn't feel too poorly! As a pp said, at least it is the time of year where he isn't missing out on being outside and can do lots of cosy Christmas activities when at home.

That mum is outrageous, surely she knew her child would just get sent home? It's one thing exposing others by accident before the spots appear, but what benefit can be gained by sending a poxy child to school? Idiot.

I see you have another little one on the way, would suggest vaccinating!

Dariosa · 17/12/2018 09:14

Sorry but that's not a good enough reason to expect parents to put their own child at risk of blindness or sepsis. If adults know they haven't had chickenpox it's their responsibility to ensure they have immunity through vaccination rather than relying on my child catching a preventable disease 🙄 we are one of the very few western countries not to vaccinate against varicella, so I can't see a good reason for abstaining against it

Then vaccinate your kid privately if you’re that concerned. No one’s stopping you.

SoupDragon · 17/12/2018 09:14

Given how long the incubation period is

And any child who contracted it when the boy was in school and knowingly spotty will go down with it at Christmas. What a lovely gift.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/12/2018 09:17

Whilst I agree Re incubation period, doing the rounds etc the point is that's unavoidablesebding if a child you KNOW to have chickenpox for no reason other than you wanted to is just bloody selfishness. Ooh we might not have infected enough kids, let's take out some before before Xmas!!

Dariosa · 17/12/2018 09:17

And any child who contracted it when the boy was in school and knowingly spotty will go down with it at Christmas. What a lovely gift

To be honest, I’d be pretty grateful that we could get chickenpox out of the way while I off work anyway - ideal timing!

Oliversmumsarmy · 17/12/2018 09:20

In some respects it is better for kids to have it when they are young otherwise as an adult it can be much much worse.
But to knowingly send an infectious child out where there could be pregnant women is damn right irresponsible.

Relative caught chicken pox whilst pregnant. The only saving grace was she was 8 months pregnant at the time. Her baby was born blind in one eye. It could have been so much worse.

At the time I don’t think anyone had heard of a chicken pox vaccination and her dm couldn’t remember which of her children had Measles, Chicken pox and or German Measles.

TheVonTrappFamilySwingers · 17/12/2018 09:22

*Countries like Oz and Us vaccinate automatically and can't understand why we'd let our kids suffer instead.
*
I am pro vaccination but I thought the longitudinal medical studies on CP vaccine suggests that while childhood chicken pox is avoided there is concern that elderly populations who were vaccinated are more at risk from severe shingles than a person who has had chicken pox as a child. I'm sure I read that is one of the reasons CP vaccine hasn't been introduced here as a matter of course.

Anyway your son caught the virus much earlier from another source unfortunately. Although the poor boy who was sent to school with CP really has a thoughtless mother.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/12/2018 09:23

ideal timing! for you perhaps, not so much for the kid that feels shit over Christmas. And ideal timing for you unless you end up spending Christmas Day in hospital with a very poorly child.

IAteMyGrandma · 17/12/2018 09:24

OP, I feel for you. Chickenpox always seems to strike at the wrong time. The Mum should really be ashamed of herself, it was totally irresponsible to send him into school.

Same thing happened to my youngest - mum thought it was fine to send him in, and even thought she might be doing other parents a favour to ‘get it over and done with’. She has no idea what devastation she caused. We traveled to see my granddad who was terminally ill to say goodbye, but then couldn’t visit him as my youngest came down with it. So he didn’t get to see his granddaughter and great-grandchildren before he died Sad

babysharkah · 17/12/2018 09:25

Dts (and most of their class) had come over Christmas last year. Mine got spots in the 31st December and weren't back in school until the 17th Jan. they were SO ill I wish we had vaccinated, I didn't realise you could. I ask naively didn't realise how unwell you could be with it.

FruitCider · 17/12/2018 09:27

Then vaccinate your kid privately if you’re that concerned. No one’s stopping you.

I did!

Tinyteatime · 17/12/2018 09:31

@FruitCider but it’s not asking parents to ‘put their child at risk’. It’s protecting those children as they grow into adults who are less likely to have picked up cp if we had a vaccination programme bc half of kids would be vaccinated/half wouldn’t making the lifetime risk of picking it up higher. It’s fairly rare to catch it as an adult now (with much more risk of awful complications) because most people get it in childhood. It’s a way of ensuring it stays as a relatively mild illness I guess (I know some children will have complications but this is pretty rare ).Given there are plenty of people who don’t even vaccinate against MMR (which can have serious consequences for actual children who get it) it actually seems a sensible policy. If you are worried about your child getting cp then pay for vaccination.

Tribblesarelovely · 17/12/2018 09:34

Vaccinate !

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 17/12/2018 09:37

I think it is different though soupdragon. In one situation you are potentially exposing someone who wouldn’t otherwise have come into contact with chicken pox. I’m the other you’ve got 30 children in close contact with each other 6 hrs a day, 5 days a week who’ve already been exposed. I doubt any child’s risk of catching chicken pox over the next month has been increased.

And being livid is OTT especially given that none of the children the OP knows have subsequently come down with chicken pox could have got it from that child.

HolesinTheSoles · 17/12/2018 09:43

I can totally understand you being angry. It's a bloody annoying time to have them. PP are right that he probably caught it before spotty child was sent in but that mother is wrong to send in a sick child.

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/12/2018 09:46

My old teacher died of chicken pox in his early thirties, he caught it off his young children. Better to get it now than later, which I understand is why CP vaccine isnt offered routinely in the UK as it doesnt offer lifelong immunity and therefore there is a higher risk of being very very ill with it as an adult.

Yes it is a horrible illness but it really does pay to get it out of the way.

Aworldofmyown · 17/12/2018 09:48

She shouldn't have sent him in, it was very irresponsible.

Your son would have already caught it though - so that's not really her fault. The two things are separate.

StoppinBy · 17/12/2018 09:49

In case it hasn't been mentioned, for future reference for people parents with young children, one Chicken Pox vaccine is given to 18 month olds (by our schedule in Aus anyway), this is included in the free vaccine schedule and gives about 80% protection.

If they have a follow up vaccine 1 month after the first one (this is not free, parents must pay for it) this gives the child about 98% protection against catching chicken pox.

In answer to your question, I would be p'd off too.

Redgreencoverplant · 17/12/2018 09:49

The parent shouldn't have sent the child in but if you don't vaccinate it will happen.

SoupDragon · 17/12/2018 09:57

I think it is different though soupdragon.

It really isn't. It's just as bloody irresponsible.

SoupDragon · 17/12/2018 09:59

I’d be pretty grateful that we could get chickenpox out of the way while I off work anyway - ideal timing!

And the family that have to travel to visit relatives? The ones who have trips booked? Those who have other children who will now get it after Christmas? The child whose Christmas is spoilt by feeling shit?

SoupDragon · 17/12/2018 10:01

I’m the other you’ve got 30 children in close contact with each other 6 hrs a day, 5 days a week who’ve already been exposed

No point having stuff like the 48 hour rule for sickness bugs then I guess.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/12/2018 10:06

Soup more like 24. School can be clueless though.

I called school, said we were out of hospital but as he had RSV I wouldn't send him in for the rest of the week. They're all 3 and then afternoon nursery is 2 to's. School said oh it's fine, send him in if he's well.
He stayed home.

Oliversmumsarmy · 17/12/2018 10:09

The parent shouldn't have sent the child in but if you don't vaccinate it will happen

The problem with the vaccination is it isn’t a life time guarantee and if you don’t keep up the vaccinations it is far far far worse getting chicken pox as an adult.

Rather a few ruined plans now whilst they are young than getting it 20 years from now and it killing them.

Friends Ds got it at university. He was in agony and couldn’t stand to have anything touching his body including being able to stand up because he had spots on the bottom of his feet. Ended up in hospital.
She felt terribly guilty because she had avoided him getting it as a child and not actively encouraged him to mix with any child that was ill.