Violent Ex telling me he's in hospital

[thelaststraw123]

Ok, back story...

I split with violent ex after he tried to strangle me. I'm now living in a refuge and trying to be NC with him.

He's contacted me tonight saying he's been rushed to hospital as he can't breathe and he's scared he's going to die.

Told me he loves me and that he's sorry.

AIBU to just ignore it cos I feel it's another game to reel me back in?

I'm doing ok this morning. I finally fell asleep at about 4 am! Have called my investigating police officer this morning and left a message for her to contact me.

My anxiety is through the roof today! It's driving me mental x

You really should get a new phone number, which you only give to those you trust not to pass it on to him, then he can't bother you.

You've taken the first step and got out, now it's time to slam the door firmly in his face.

Well done.

Think about this: if he’s made this up, he’s not made up a heart problem or a cancer scare, or something else. He’s specifically said it’s something that leaves him unable to breathe and afraid. after he strangled you. he’s re enacting the strangulation in a warped way.

Do not contact him. Block his fathers number. Talk to your investigating officer and whomever is the right person at the refuge. You can do this.

He tried to strangle you, could have killed you, and you're wondering if you should be in contact with him. You know this is crazy, right?

Well done on contacting the police and stay strong.

Changing your phone number might be a good idea.

The only reply he would get from me would be: And?

Best block and don't reply at all.

He can't breathe but he can still text. Interesting.
What exaggerated bullshit (on his part!)

Police were going out to arrest him. Now just waiting for update

Let's see what lies he spins them 🙄

Good on you, stay away from him

Do you know where his is when the Police are going to arrest him?

Hi OP if that was the case he wouldn't be able to text. Have you seen someone having a panic attack or asthma attack? I doubt they could text. I really think it's a way of trying to reel you back in as he knows nothing else will work. Be strong!

OP. Please please stay away. I say this as a survivor of domestic violence. I stayed for a significant period.

I suffered at his hands multiple injuries. I had to have surgery to correct one of those a year ago- a broken collar bone that never healed because it was never given the chance to do so. I was on the operating table 5 hours to put right just one instance of his violence.

please please don’t let this be you.

I also have a lovely piece of writing called “he never hit me” and it’s bought me much comfort

Is there already a court order in pace forbidding this prick from contacting you? If so, with any luck this means he will be spending Christmas in the nick...

I was also thinking of you saying "now you know what it feels like" but instead say nothing. Much more effective.

So glad you went to the police with this! Block the dad's number, too. I'd actually see about getting an injunction on the dad, too. Once an abusive cunt, always an abusive cunt.

Oh God, I've had this with an abusive ex. He even got the hospital security to call me and beg me to go and see him. They changed their tune when I pointed out the last time I was with him he broke my arm .
Have you got a non molestation order? If not, get one.
Hope you get some peace from now on

"I am in hospital" is a line straight from the abuser's manual.

What a cunt. Sorry, no nicer words!

Well done for getting out

Yes it is a game to reel you in, delete and block him. Even if he is, he is not your concern anymore.

My exH text me those words after I left him.

‘I can’t breathe. Im dying. I can see hell. Please help me’.

ANYTHING to try and suck me back in. He also told me he was moving to America, and then Australia. I text back ‘Oh cool, good luck’. He thought I would beg him to stay 😂

Ignore ignore ignore. He will try every trick in the book to get you to engage with him.

He tried to kill you. Literally. I hope you can heal and move on from this. A good life is ahead of you

Mumminumum like the ' I am going to kill myself' line as well.

1. If he's genuinely ill, he's in the best place with the best people around him to help.
2. If he's got his dad's phone, then he's got family support during his time of eh...need.
3. It's all bullshit but just on the off chance that he does have breathing issues and is terrified, Good. As my mother would say "hell slap it into him" Consider it an early Christmas present that he got to taste the fear you experienced at his hands.

‘I can’t breathe. Im dying. I can see hell. Please help me’.

I would have been tempted to reply: "Okay, I'll send for a priest."

Oh, my violent abusive ex-twat did this too. He was apparently throwing up blood, shitting himself uncontrollably and homeless, managed to get to a hospital, on death's door, etc.

I called his bluff and called his sister who's a nurse and his Mum and told them to see to him. Then a miracle happened! He was treated and discharged all within an hour on a Saturday afternoon at a busy inner city A&E department.

Bet he really was shitting himself when his Mother got hold of him.

IGNORE, IGNORE, BLOCK. Stay safe.

Hopefully he'll go for it and make you a massive favour.

My ex tried similar over the years to reel me back in and it worked. When I finally moved to refuge I blocked him on everything and changed my number within a day because I got close to 300 messages, emails and voicemails from him threatening suicide. Gassing himself in the car apparently. Sent the police round to do a welfare check. They reported back saying he was “fine” not in the car at all but out back smoking and talking online to other people totally normally between sending me messages and leaving tearful voicemails. Psychopath.

You’ve done so well OP to have got out and live in refuge. That in itself isn’t easy to do. Don’t let him reel you back in now.