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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to leave my engine running for ten mins at 6.45 each morning (M-F)?

801 replies

ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough · 16/12/2018 17:21

Neighbours have just come to the door with a Christmas card and a polite request to be more quiet in the mornings.

I usually leave at 7am to drop dd at breakfast club and get myself to work at 8am (I work Mon-Fri only - no weekends).

Now it's getting colder, the car is unbearably cold in the mornings so last week I started nipping out 10-15 mins earlier while dd was brushing her teeth so the car would be warm for us getting in and the frost/ice would be mostly melted from the window.

Neighbours have revealed that they are normally woken by me leaving most mornings at 7am but they can put up with it as I leave immediately so they are able to go back to sleep. However, they are not willing to put up with what I've been doing recently as they have found it impossible to go back to sleep having been awake for so long waiting for me to leave with the engine running ... Hmm

They have suggested I park further away from the house.

This is my first winter with these neighbours. They only moved in beginning of the year and we're polite to each other but not any more than 'hello' acquaintances. We live very rurally - just our two houses - in woodland area. Any noise carries and it is mostly silent (why I moved here - now I'm the one being a noise pest, it would appear). No street lights. 5 minute drive down our landlord's private (god awful road) onto the public road where there are other houses.

If I parked further away, that is further for me and DD to walk to the car each morning - in the pitch black - with our bags. Likewise, it is further for us to walk to the house each evening when we get back.

Not sure what the solution is. I told them I wasn't keen to park farther away (due to the above concerns) but they've asked me to give it a try at least for tomorrow. I've agreed to try it.

AIBU to ask for your ideas on what a peaceful resolution to this would be?

OP posts:
OpiningGambit · 16/12/2018 19:21

If they don't like the engine noise, they're going to like the ice-scraping noise even less!

user1494050295 · 16/12/2018 19:23

Get one of those car covers from halfords

Tuppencew0rth · 16/12/2018 19:25

You’re not BU in my opinion. I do this on the mornings it’s freezing too, but only for a couple of minutes. I’m on my own drive, rural too and I’m a semi-d. I think your neighbours are being a bit nuts. Is your car massively noisy? It really wouldn’t bother me if I could hear a car engine running.

BluebellsareBlue · 16/12/2018 19:25

But it's illegal tuppence

applesandpears33 · 16/12/2018 19:27

It's not illegal to leave a car engine running on a private road.

Tinkobell · 16/12/2018 19:30

I cannot stand people's behaviour leaving the engine running ....so selfish, so bad for the world.

donajimena · 16/12/2018 19:31

Hang on a minute. There was an article in the newspaper today about a man who killed an elderly lady because his windows were fogged.
My car will fog until its warm. My older car had heated windscreen but this one although newer doesn't. After a terrifying incident last year when I turned from my side road into low sun I had to pull over because I couldn't see.
I now leave it run until its warm. Tough to my neighbours I'm not driving if its unsafe.
The cold doesn't bother me.
I do sit in it though. You aren't allowed to run it unattended.

BrendasUmbrella · 16/12/2018 19:36

Be cold and know it's saving you a few pennies. People who leave the house to walk to work/school don't get to be in a toasty environment, it's nice but not crucial.

swashbuckles · 16/12/2018 19:37

I'd have arranged for your car to be stollen

A marzipan cake car.

I know It's illegal but a few folk round here do it. I think they're being a bit unreasonable-surely they can see you have a child and how cold it is. I wouldn't have complained about it. If you live near other people you're going to hear them make noise sometimes.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 16/12/2018 19:37

You can keep a window cloth in the car and wipe the windows clear, Donajimena.

anniehm · 16/12/2018 19:38

Yes it's unreasonable to leave it longer than it takes to scrape the ice (and only on icy days of course!). Very selfish and environmentally bad too.

anniehm · 16/12/2018 19:42

And many people walk in places far colder than the U.K. you need proper coats if you are still cold, I highly recommend mountain warehouse like down jackets, free shipping today, will save you plenty in petrol.

PhoenixBuchanan · 16/12/2018 19:43

I am baffled by most of the responses here. Maybe 10 min is excessive but I live in a similarly cold place to the OP and in those conditions I cannot drive away until the car has been running for 4-5 min, it would be massively unsafe as it takes that long for the windows to defog. Those cloths don't work, in cold weather the windscreen will immediately fog up again after wiping. I don't really see a way around this. Do the neighbours not own a car?? How do they manage this issue if they're not letting the engine run for a few minutes? Confused

PattiStanger · 16/12/2018 19:43

Tuppence so, because something doesn't bother you it shouldn't bother anyone else? What a selfish approach to life

Orchiddingme · 16/12/2018 19:44

It takes at least 2/3 minutes to scrape the car anyway so if it's running all that time I don't see the big deal. Also, I'm going in and out the back gate, so that makes a noise, shut my front door that makes a noise, and also shut my car doors and drive off, that makes a noise. It's not like it's silent anyway! I'm going to carry on going out 5 min before I leave as I'd rather piss off my neighbours than drive around in a completely icy car where you can hardly see. Mind you, my neighbours do it too so they won't be complaining.

Yabbers · 16/12/2018 19:45

minionsrule
Here's a question tho, even if i pour tepid water on DH's windscreen the inside always mists up.... his fan is really ineffective and it can take 15 mins to demist his windscreen. How do i clear this without running the engine/fan

Dashboard dehumidifier from Lakeland. bit.ly/2BlQLmw

A traffic warden would be trespassing trying to ticket her
Vascala No law of trespass in Scotland. Someone can literally sit on your front lawn and unless they damage something they aren’t breaking the law.

-2 is freezing not just very cold.
OP. You live in the north of Scotland and think -2 is unbearably cold? You’ve a long winter ahead and -2 will seem like t-shirt weather by February!

Butternutsqoosh · 16/12/2018 19:45

My friend did this, went back out and car was gone...not covered by insurance as the keys were in it. Luckily the kids were not in the back!

JacquesHammer · 16/12/2018 19:46

Blue Star De-icer is fab and removes the need for endless scraping.

FuckingYuleLog · 16/12/2018 19:46

Even if you wipe windows in a cold car they will continue to fog until it’s warmed up. The op being able to see is more of a priority than her neighbours beauty sleep. If she stays in the car she isn’t doing anything against the law.
I doubt the neighbours are bothered about the environmental impact because they suggested the op park somewhere else and annoy the people who live there instead.
If you live in a residential neighbourhood people leaving for work between about 7 and 8:30 is standard noise. If it’s disturbing their sleep they should invest in some earplugs.

Orchiddingme · 16/12/2018 19:47

Also if I had icy blankets where am I suppose to store them? In the boot? Slamming the boot will definitely wake everyone up, it doesn't shut quietly unfortunately.

I think 10-15 min is excessive, but the rest is just normal neighbourhood noise, like my neighbour driving off in his motorbike at 6.30 am...

greendale17 · 16/12/2018 19:47

YANBU

You’re not BU in my opinion. I do this on the mornings it’s freezing too, but only for a couple of minutes.

^So does everyone I know

donajimena · 16/12/2018 19:48

chardonnay you can't do that and drive FFS! Also as has been pointed out it just mists again until warm.

HolesinTheSoles · 16/12/2018 19:50

Who cares if everyone you know does it? That doesn't justify it.

HolesinTheSoles · 16/12/2018 19:50

Everyone I know manages to defog their windows without blasting out engine fumes for 10 minutes.

BoebePhuffay · 16/12/2018 19:51

Everyone I know manages to defog their windows without blasting out engine fumes for 10 minutes.

How are they doing that?