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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave my engine running for ten mins at 6.45 each morning (M-F)?

801 replies

ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough · 16/12/2018 17:21

Neighbours have just come to the door with a Christmas card and a polite request to be more quiet in the mornings.

I usually leave at 7am to drop dd at breakfast club and get myself to work at 8am (I work Mon-Fri only - no weekends).

Now it's getting colder, the car is unbearably cold in the mornings so last week I started nipping out 10-15 mins earlier while dd was brushing her teeth so the car would be warm for us getting in and the frost/ice would be mostly melted from the window.

Neighbours have revealed that they are normally woken by me leaving most mornings at 7am but they can put up with it as I leave immediately so they are able to go back to sleep. However, they are not willing to put up with what I've been doing recently as they have found it impossible to go back to sleep having been awake for so long waiting for me to leave with the engine running ... Hmm

They have suggested I park further away from the house.

This is my first winter with these neighbours. They only moved in beginning of the year and we're polite to each other but not any more than 'hello' acquaintances. We live very rurally - just our two houses - in woodland area. Any noise carries and it is mostly silent (why I moved here - now I'm the one being a noise pest, it would appear). No street lights. 5 minute drive down our landlord's private (god awful road) onto the public road where there are other houses.

If I parked further away, that is further for me and DD to walk to the car each morning - in the pitch black - with our bags. Likewise, it is further for us to walk to the house each evening when we get back.

Not sure what the solution is. I told them I wasn't keen to park farther away (due to the above concerns) but they've asked me to give it a try at least for tomorrow. I've agreed to try it.

AIBU to ask for your ideas on what a peaceful resolution to this would be?

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPrettySister · 16/12/2018 19:52

You wipe the windows clear, open one window and drive off.

Clear windows all around.

Look, it can be done, thousands of people manage it.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 16/12/2018 19:53

Or you use the blower when you drive off.

BlueJay1 · 16/12/2018 19:53

Well, I don't think you should stop warming the car before getting the child in. But 5 mins would be the maximum. That's about the time it should take for the windscreen to clear anyway, so I think that's fair.

It takes 3-5 mins for my screen to clear (on the inside) when I start up in the morning. I'm in the car while doing it as otherwise it would be nicked! Busy London street.

safariboot · 16/12/2018 19:55

Only skimmed the thread.

Law-wise, if you're inside or immediately next to the car then I think it's OK. Leaving it unattended is definitely illegal though, and asking for the car to be stolen. Even if OP's road is ostensibly private, it might still be subject to the road traffic laws.

Practically, can you park close enough to put a room heater in the car to warm it up? Just be mindful of fire and electrical safety.

Alternatively there are car heaters that plug into the lighter socket. They're not very powerful but it should be enough to help de-ice the windscreen.

Monkeynuts18 · 16/12/2018 19:55

I’m glad that the OP has accepted she was BU, but I am amazed at some of the posts on here. It’s just incredible how many people think they’ve got the right to pump out endless quantities of carbon monoxide near other people’s homes for their own convenience/comfort. I wonder how many of these people would be happy if I plonked a noisy CO generator in front of their house and insisted on running it every morning (at 6.45).

Orchiddingme · 16/12/2018 19:55

Everyone I know definitely runs their engine whilst they are defrosting/scraping, then they have to get their kids in the car, this takes a few min. I see it all the time as I'm up earlier than most and so am one of the first to drive off on a icy day and then come back so I can see what everyone's up to!

This is a safety issue and I wouldn't wait til I'd scraped everything and got the kids in to turn on the engine. I'm not usually happy with the scraping/deicing as it doesn't clear things really well. I found deicer to be a bit shit and I can't cover an entire car with it on a daily basis! I'd rather have clear windscreens through heating the car a bit and drive safely on roads that are icy themselves at that time and more dangerous than later in the day.

Asdf12345 · 16/12/2018 19:55

Not unreasonable at all, I do this all the time.
A better solution is a fan heater in the car on a timer switch so when you go out it is toasty and warm and ready to unplug and go.

TrickyKid · 16/12/2018 19:55

Yabvu

littlemeitslyn · 16/12/2018 19:56

Illegal to idle! 😱😱

Orchiddingme · 16/12/2018 19:57

It’s just incredible how many people think they’ve got the right to pump out endless quantities of carbon monoxide near other people’s homes for their own convenience/comfort

I don't do it for comfort, it's often still chilly in our car, I do it so I can see really well as the roads are icy if the car is iced up at 6.30/7am. I think a lot of people start out later, at 8/8.30 and the roads are not icy then as people like me have already been driving on them.

busybarbara · 16/12/2018 19:58

It’s just incredible how many people think they’ve got the right to pump out endless quantities of carbon monoxide

Going vegan would save far more carbon dioxide in the long run if that's your problem

PookieDo · 16/12/2018 20:00

15 mins is a bit much. A couple of mins I could understand. I mean when it’s icy it usually takes a few mins to clear the screen off - mine likes to steam up so I am scraping and de-steaming. 15 mins is way too long

luckylavender · 16/12/2018 20:00

Sorry really inconsiderate

rabbitfoodadvocate · 16/12/2018 20:01

At least you're being open to the idea that you are in the wrong here!

I like to take a hot water bottle with me in the car! Nice lumbar support and keeps me warm.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 16/12/2018 20:01

If your car is a modern one and one step above base model, it'll have air conditioning. Turn it on, turn the heat all the way up, make sure the screen vents are on, turn the fan on full. The car will demist in under a minute. It'll be cold for the first 2-3 minutes driving, what of it?

BoebePhuffay · 16/12/2018 20:01

You wipe the windows clear, open one window and drive off.

But that doesn’t work. I’ve tried it. The windscreen fogs over while you’re driving until the screen is wanted up enough to keep it clear.

Or you use the blower when you drive off.

Which involves driving for at least several minutes with fogged windows! Talk about accident waiting to happen!!

Believe me I’ve tried both these. Both are incredibly dangerous. You’re either driving very dangerously or you haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.

BoebePhuffay · 16/12/2018 20:03

It’s just incredible how many people think they’ve got the right to pump out endless quantities of carbon monoxide near other people’s homes for their own convenience/comfort.

So you walk everywhere then?

Justletmego · 16/12/2018 20:03

My car has an app to warm it up prior to driving so does dh, I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all.

littlemeitslyn · 16/12/2018 20:04

Threejumpers I feel your pain !

busybarbara · 16/12/2018 20:05

Yeah hang on most cars will heat up and most features work with the ignition on but engine off. So do that.

Forzaitalia · 16/12/2018 20:06

Round my way we’ve been warned by the police to never leave an engine running with the keys in the car, and leave it unattended, as several cars have been stolen. Also your insurance company will not be happy that you left the car with the keys in whilst unattended - they won’t pay up as they consider it neglectful. Your neighbours are right on all counts.

strawberrypenguin · 16/12/2018 20:07

Yeah YABU I'm afraid. Leaving a car engine to run for 15 mins at that time in the morning is really anti social. You'll be wearing coats etc and the car will warm up while you're in it. Get some de-icer as well. You might need to run the car for a couple of minutes to de-mist but that can't be helped and you can do it with you in the car.

TheFatberg · 16/12/2018 20:07

Think OP said she was been unreasonable and owes her neighbours an apology on page 2 but do keep piling on.

BoebePhuffay · 16/12/2018 20:07

it'll have air conditioning. Turn it on, turn the heat all the way up, make sure the screen vents are on, turn the fan on full. The car will demist in under a minute

This is what I do but it requires the car to be running for any heat to be produced and takes a few minutes to be warm enough to clear the screen.. definitely not less than a minute. Around 5.

Beatitudes · 16/12/2018 20:10

My friend did this, went back out and car was gone...not covered by insurance as the keys were in it. Luckily the kids were not in the back
Was coming on to say similar. OP may not be illegal as you live on a private road, but if some chancer stole your car in these circumstances, your car insurance would be invalidated.