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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave my engine running for ten mins at 6.45 each morning (M-F)?

801 replies

ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough · 16/12/2018 17:21

Neighbours have just come to the door with a Christmas card and a polite request to be more quiet in the mornings.

I usually leave at 7am to drop dd at breakfast club and get myself to work at 8am (I work Mon-Fri only - no weekends).

Now it's getting colder, the car is unbearably cold in the mornings so last week I started nipping out 10-15 mins earlier while dd was brushing her teeth so the car would be warm for us getting in and the frost/ice would be mostly melted from the window.

Neighbours have revealed that they are normally woken by me leaving most mornings at 7am but they can put up with it as I leave immediately so they are able to go back to sleep. However, they are not willing to put up with what I've been doing recently as they have found it impossible to go back to sleep having been awake for so long waiting for me to leave with the engine running ... Hmm

They have suggested I park further away from the house.

This is my first winter with these neighbours. They only moved in beginning of the year and we're polite to each other but not any more than 'hello' acquaintances. We live very rurally - just our two houses - in woodland area. Any noise carries and it is mostly silent (why I moved here - now I'm the one being a noise pest, it would appear). No street lights. 5 minute drive down our landlord's private (god awful road) onto the public road where there are other houses.

If I parked further away, that is further for me and DD to walk to the car each morning - in the pitch black - with our bags. Likewise, it is further for us to walk to the house each evening when we get back.

Not sure what the solution is. I told them I wasn't keen to park farther away (due to the above concerns) but they've asked me to give it a try at least for tomorrow. I've agreed to try it.

AIBU to ask for your ideas on what a peaceful resolution to this would be?

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityyhat · 16/12/2018 19:03

I can't believe this is anything other than a gf post.

malovitt · 16/12/2018 19:03

Fill an old sock with gel cat litter (not the normal sort), tie it up and leave on the dashboard.
No more moisture/mist on the inside of the windscreen.

It works.

Pachyderm1 · 16/12/2018 19:04

You’re being totally unreasonable. Not only is leaving the engine running annoying for your neighbours, it’s bad for the environment. Your convenience is not always going to be the priority! Give your kid a hot water bottle and deal with a cold car like everyone else does. Imagine the environmental impact if all 37 million cars in the U.K. ran for an unnecessary extra 10 mins per day because their owners couldn’t cope with a bit of cold...

DasPepe · 16/12/2018 19:05

May I also point out that de-icer sprays are massively toxic.

We have blankets in the car for the starts and manual scraping will warm you right up

bibbitybobbityyhat · 16/12/2018 19:06

I start work at 9am but don't have to be up until 7.30. If my neighbour deprived me of 45 minutes of sleep every night I would be fuming.

hibbledibble · 16/12/2018 19:06

Yes yabu.

Apart from the environmental and antisocial impact, it is also just inviting your car to be stolen.

Schuyler · 16/12/2018 19:07

Judeee would you call shift workers “smug”? They may not get up at 7 am, perhaps their shift didn’t end till midnight...

FrangipaniBlue · 16/12/2018 19:07

Well I think YANBU. I do this too. It’s either that or drive with zero visibility as my windscreen is fogged up. I really don’t care that it’s illegal.

There are other options you know, like erm, wiping the inside with a cloth?

Wintermuter · 16/12/2018 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

near50andgotiddintesco · 16/12/2018 19:08

I start work at 9 and don’t need to be out of bed until 8.59. I can’t beleive that there are people who think it’s abnormal to still be asleep at 7am.

Haven’t they heard of shift work, quite apart from anything else?

Schuyler · 16/12/2018 19:08

OP: AIBU?
Most of MN: yes
OP: ok I accept this and will try X, Y and Z
Posters who can’t be arsed to read the thread: YABU and selfish!!

orangepopp · 16/12/2018 19:09

yabu my neighbour used to do this and it massively pissed us off and impossible to go back to sleep. we complained too and she stopped

bmbonanza · 16/12/2018 19:10

People who work shifts wear earplugs to sleep when others are living their lives, the neighbours could do the same if they wanted to. Would be the same if it was 8 or 9 am if they didnt want to be up

TougheningUp · 16/12/2018 19:11

You can get heated blankets which plug into the cigarette lighter socket in your car if you're too cold when you first get in. They're really good. And you can get scrapers for your windscreen which come with a glove attached, so your hand is always protected from the cold.

Where I live it gets very cold, and we have lots of snow and ice. Some mornings I have to throw buckets of water onto the wheels of my car because the brakes are frozen onto them. I never leave the car running to heat it up before we set off. It's just not necessary.

maggiso · 16/12/2018 19:12

I think people in northern Scandinavia use a car heater which I think is electric. I wonder if such things are available in northern Scotland? Any one know?
Rinsing with tepid water only works if it’s not very far below freezing. If it’s very cold it just refreezes! Guess how I found that one out!
One of the glories of an EV or hybrid is the electric pre heating ( and the seat heaters).

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 16/12/2018 19:14

Yabu,you're being v selfish

BluebellsareBlue · 16/12/2018 19:14

Its illegal to leave your car running without someone there to be in charge and control of the vehicle

jgjgjgjgjg · 16/12/2018 19:16

Yep, having a hybrid car means that you never have to get in to a cold or iced up car again. Major major benefit!

Oliversmumsarmy · 16/12/2018 19:17

Can’t you take some hot water bottles in the car with you

BoebePhuffay · 16/12/2018 19:18

There are other options you know, like erm, wiping the inside with a cloth?

Gee, I wonder why I hadn’t thought of that Hmm I have! It fogs up again before I’m even off the drive.

BlueJava · 16/12/2018 19:18

YABVU - bad for environment and really annoying for anyone unlucky enough to be within hearing distance. Just wrap up, de-ice and start the car and leave. Yes it's cold but not -15 degrees.

TemptressofWaikiki · 16/12/2018 19:19

I would absolutely loathe you if you were my neighbour! Your car keys would miracously disappear...

applesandpears33 · 16/12/2018 19:20

OP - How do your neighbours defrost their car?

I doubt the OP is at much risk of having her car stolen - she lives in the middle of nowhere on a private road and is unlikely to have opportunistic thieves passing her door at 6.45am.

SoupDragon · 16/12/2018 19:21

Can’t you take some hot water bottles in the car with you

Yes she can and she posted to agree that it was a good idea nearly 2 hours ago.