Stranger touching my baby

[babydreamer1]

I was in the supermarket earlier on and turned to get something from the fridge with one hand still on my pram, DS 10 weeks happily burbling away in his lie flat car seat so he could see me. When I turned back there was a woman holding his hand, head close to his face cooing at him, I was really shocked and sad 'please don't touch him' I expected her to a apologise but in stead she asked why not? I responded that he was a tiny baby and puts his hands in his mouth so it's not hygienic and turned away. I'd have no problem with anyone cooing at him or with a friend or family member holding his hand, but I feel a total stranger shouldn't. I'm pretty conscious of hygiene, particularly at this time of year and admit I'm a bit of a worrier about germs and my PFB. WIBU to think it was wrong of her and to say something?

YANBU at that age. Used to annoy me - I would slap their hands away.

So you basically told a stranger they're germ ridden?

No more so than any other person you know.

I get that it's annoying but it does happen occasionally. I remember a girl aged around 8 bouncing up to DS when very tiny, pinching his cheeks and then running off. She knew no better and he wasn't hurt but it's a bit of a shock in any case.

YANBU to say something but I think you could have handled it a bit more diplomatically and she certainly didn't have to apologise.

She was a bit presumptuous but it wouldn't really bother me tbh.

Yanbu

Why random people think its acceptable to touch a baby I will never understand.
For any other age group or adults it would be seen as negative so why not for a little baby.

Yes you are being ott

Yabu.

You are being ridiculous imo.

Bit of a pet hate of mine, and I've always admired people who are able to say "please don't do that". I accept I'm a bit precious about my PFB, though. I bet this thread will be an even split between those who couldn't give a crap and people who find it rage-inducing.

Yanbu but I said that as someone who has looked after many poorly babies exposed to unnecessary germs.

YANBU. Just because a person is tiny, new and cute doesn’t mean anyone who wants to can touch them imo. I don’t touch my own tiny granddaughter till I’ve washed my hands after I’ve been shopping . You’re touching all sorts of filthy stuff out and about. I know they need to build up immunity but supermarket trolleys, money, door handles are all vectors for viruses and in winter many of these are best avoided by very young babies imo

Yanbu. I hated this too.

Oh wow, you were really rude!

It's a bit annoying at this time of year when there are lots of cold viruses about, but generally speaking I think you're being precious and doing more harm than good. You 'admit I'm a bit of a worrier about germs and my PFB'... Babies need to be exposed to microbes to develop their immune system. We didn't evolve to live in a bubble!

Of course they shouldn’t touch your baby, any more than they should touch an older child or an adult.

YANBU. When DD was about 7 months old, I was looking at something on the shelf in a supermarket and as I turned back round this woman who reeked of smoke was touching her hands and squeezing her cheeks. I was fucking livid. It's bad enough touching my child let alone doing it with your smelly, yellow smoker fingers

Well, she shouldn't have touched him, I suppose (although shock is an extraordinarily extreme reaction) but you didn't need to be so unpleasant. You turned a sweet encounter for her into something embarrassing and hurtful. Perhaps a net? Or a sign?

No,you are not being OTT. There's nothing like MRSA,flu,strep,RSV to make your little one deathly ill. I will admire a baby and say something to the parent about how cute or sweet they are but touching is crossing a line-it's too familiar.

Well, I think you’re a bit OTT to be concerned about germs - putting their hands in their mouths is how babies build up their immune systems after all, and there’s a lot of research suggesting that overcleanliness in early years is really harmful to humans in the long run (my DH has a serious auto immune condition and I’m convinced it’s as a result of having a neurotic clean freak for a mother).

But I don’t think YABU at all not to want a complete stranger touching your baby without your permission, in the the same way that you would be perfectly within your rights to be annoyed about a stranger touching YOU without your permission. People should just keep their hands to themselves!

It only on Mumsnet I’ve ever seen anyone complain about people touching their baby I’ve never met anyone in real life that’s had a problem with it me included. It’s nit something that it ever occurred to me to be bothered about babies are cute they attract attention. Everyone is germ ridden in their own way so I doubt a stamranger is more harmful than a member of my family.

It wouldn't bother me. I took dd2 to see me mum in her care home when she was 5days old. All the residents wanted to hold her. Dd2 had a full head of hair and everyone I met would always comment and touch her head.

I hated it. And got flamed for a similar aibu once so be prepared it may go that way.

But I would be alarmed if someone while my back was turned held hands with my now 6 year old...As much as when he was a baby

I don't think strangers have a right to touch kids just because they look cute and cuddly

Wave, smile, chat away but don't cross that line of putting your hands on someone unless they invite you to do so or their parents if they are obviously incapable of making a judgement on if it's okay

I don't think it's precious to not be comfortable with strangers touching your kids.

Wouldn't bother me to be honest, I like it when strangers coo over my baby. Figure it will be over soon when he's flinging himself on the floor and screeching in the supermarket, so will enjoy the admiration whilst it lasts. Not too concerned about the germ thing, the human race has managed to survive this long with babies being touched so I think the risk is fairly low.

I agree with a pp. this only seems to be a mumsnet thing. I've never met anyone who has complained about this in real life.
I love it when people make a fuss of my dc.

I'm not as fussed about germs etc, but people wouldn't randomly touch an adult or an older child so they shouldn't do it to babies either

Thanks for all the different perspectives.

@villainousbroodmare I was shocked because I just didn't ever expect to turn around and find someone holding hands with my child, I would contemplate doing it so found it very strange.