Stranger touching my baby

[babydreamer1]

I was in the supermarket earlier on and turned to get something from the fridge with one hand still on my pram, DS 10 weeks happily burbling away in his lie flat car seat so he could see me. When I turned back there was a woman holding his hand, head close to his face cooing at him, I was really shocked and sad 'please don't touch him' I expected her to a apologise but in stead she asked why not? I responded that he was a tiny baby and puts his hands in his mouth so it's not hygienic and turned away. I'd have no problem with anyone cooing at him or with a friend or family member holding his hand, but I feel a total stranger shouldn't. I'm pretty conscious of hygiene, particularly at this time of year and admit I'm a bit of a worrier about germs and my PFB. WIBU to think it was wrong of her and to say something?

*Wouldn't

Yes, fair enough I guess you could be startled. I suppose tbh I would prefer if a stranger held my baby's foot rather than hand, but given a choice between a friendly touch from a well-meaning person or no acknowledgement, I would personally prefer the contact.

No. I would be annoyed. I get that people like babies and small children but even if she wanted to talk to him / smile at him she could have done so from a distance. She didn’t have to touch your child. Everyone has germs but it is different if you don’t know them.

I’m 32 w pregnant and get annoyed with people touching my bump!! I can handle it if it’s someone I know eg colleagues at work (although that annoys me too sometimes) but I had it in a shop where someone I don’t know suddenly reached out and touched my bump when I was asking her about a product.

How rude you were.

YANBU. Why on earth would anyone think this is ok? Babies aren't objects - they are little people! You wouldn't touch a person you didn't know, so why would it be ok to touch a baby?

Yanbu. People have all kinds of germs on their hands. Grim.

I don't think you were rude at all, I wouldn't want a stranger touching my face. I hate people who try to touch my children, I haven't got a clue where their hands have been.

I don't think you did anything wrong. A stranger shouldn't feel free to touch your baby.

I thought I’d have that attitude when I had a baby but I’m quite the opposite. Quite a few people have touched dds hands and it really doesn’t bother me, I feel I should be more bothered.
She hasn’t succumbed to the germs yet though!

I hated when people did it to my dcs. One time a guy came and sat next to us in a waiting room, his hands were filthy, black all down his finger nails and he smelt so bad and he started touching my dc on the face. It's not on.
It's dangerous especially for babies with immune system problems or any other conditions. People are very entitled to thing they can just invade someone else's space just because theyre cute...

Agree with @Mossyhill. Unless your baby is premie and/or has an immune condition then you are over reacting.

YANBU. Babies need to be exposed to the germs of their parents, not all and sundry. Who knows where that woman's hands have been?

This is how babies can become very seriously ill. You weren't implying that she comes from the Great Unwashed. It's very true that people have different bacteria. It's also possible that people can be carrying antibiotic-resistant bacteria or that they could be infected and contagious even if they aren't showing symptoms. Seemingly minor infections in adults can be dangerous and even fatal in babies.

But surely the point is a stranger doesn’t know if your baby has a low immune system or other issues which is why they shouldn’t do it!

I would be the exact same. yanbu.

You must be of the view point that Princess Diana was entitled and spread germs to strangers then. Strangely the HIV/AIDS patients (who were immunosuppressed) didn’t squeal and run for cover when she touched and hugged them.

Perhaps it’s just people showing a bit of human kindness, compassion and interaction.
If you were that worried, could you not have discreetly wiped your baby’s hand after with a wipe and feel good knowing that you’re little one made someone smile.

Honestly! The world has gone mad and bloody nasty.

YANBU. it’s like pregnant women and new mothers and babies are public property. I was in the supermarket with ds in a sling the other day and a woman grabbed me by the arm as I was walking past and wouldn’t let me go until had cooed over the baby. Being polite and British I just nodded and smiled until she let go of me, but I was in a rush trying to get back to dh at the till with a forgotten item and was pissed off. Why do people think it’s ok to do this?

YANBU. At all. There is no need for strangers to touch your baby. Having a look and a wave and a chat is fine and polite but no need for touching. Well done for saying something OP, she was the rude one.

I hope all the people who are saying the op is BU and that they've only heard of this on mumsnet don't go around touching other peoples babies uninvited. A lot of people would be unhappy with this but would be too uncomfortable to say anything.

I ask before I touch someone else's dog, let alone their baby! I wouldn't dream of touching a stranger's baby when their back was turned. That's really bizarre and I'd be weirded out and irritated too. I'd probably just grumble internally though and then wish I'd said something for the rest of the day.

No problem with people cwtching DS (17 weeks) but it is about weird to do so behind your back. That would make me feel uncomfortable.

I guess we've been fortunate, everyone has asked before touching/ holding DS. He's a big hit with the ladies at my mum's WI.

Nobody gets to touch my baby (6 weeks old and hasn't had his jabs yet). One woman tried and I gently pushed the pram forward a few inches too far out of reach. Her husband told her she shouldn't touch without asking and she said "But he's so cute!"

My aunt was premature and was manhandled in a park. She got scarlet fever and went deaf in one ear.

When I say nobody I mean "Randoms in Tesco" not his nana obviously...

Just imagining the reactions of all of these "YABU" commenters if a strange old lady had walked up to them in a supermarket and grabbed their own hand and cooed in their face. 🤣 I have to assume they would all be fine with it if it's fine for their baby.

I didn't let family touch my baby without washing their hands (he was premature and tiny for a long time) and it's not down to anyone else to decide for me what risks my baby should be exposed to, they don't know our medical situation or the strict advice we were given on discharge from the neonatal unit.

I would be cross too and tell the person stop. Yadnbu.
It's rude and intrusive. You've done nothing wrong. Weird woman.
I hope you don't change because some people disagree as it's your baby and your choice. Be as protective as you feel like.

YANBU, young babies haven't had all their vaccinations and colds that are useful immunity builders from 6 months are definitely not wanted at only 10 weeks. Ultimately it's your baby and she should have asked, it's not hard to ask and anybody who doesn't mind will let her hold the baby's hand.