Stranger touching my baby

[babydreamer1]

I was in the supermarket earlier on and turned to get something from the fridge with one hand still on my pram, DS 10 weeks happily burbling away in his lie flat car seat so he could see me. When I turned back there was a woman holding his hand, head close to his face cooing at him, I was really shocked and sad 'please don't touch him' I expected her to a apologise but in stead she asked why not? I responded that he was a tiny baby and puts his hands in his mouth so it's not hygienic and turned away. I'd have no problem with anyone cooing at him or with a friend or family member holding his hand, but I feel a total stranger shouldn't. I'm pretty conscious of hygiene, particularly at this time of year and admit I'm a bit of a worrier about germs and my PFB. WIBU to think it was wrong of her and to say something?

It’s natural to do this to babies take it as a compliment. What do you think they are going to catch? Prob more germs on your kitchen counter.

The germ thing didn't bother me. The presumption did.
OTOH some cultures are more touchy feely with babies. When DD was born we lived in a place with a big Latino population. I carried her in a sling and would constantly get older women in supermarkets gently pinching her cheeks. It was 'for luck'. In the end I just let it happen.
She did have gorgeous cheeks...

OTT or not You are going to have to get over it because it will continue to happen.

I enjoy interacting with babies. I smile, wave, make faces, play peek-a-boo...but touching the baby without the parent's consent? Not on.

I just hate that people think that behaviour is appropriate becuase it's a baby.

You wouldn't do that to an older child or a stranger so why do you think it's OK for a baby?

I used to tell people off for touching my baby when they were strangers.

Obviously you can’t just touch a stranger’s baby! Can’t believe this is even up for debate

You can’t become immune to bugs like rotavirus and norovirus. They’re passed on hands and can make a baby extremely ill. Rotavirus kills half a million children worldwide every year. My baby had it and was seriously ill - you really think it’s a good idea to transmit such a serious illness to a tiny baby just so you can enjoy touching him/her?! That’s before you even consider viruses like herpes that can be fatal to babies.

Yes children need to build up their immunity but preferably when they’re old enough to cope with it. A tiny baby can go downhill very rapidly with the same illness that would make an older child only slightly unwell. And they certainly don’t need to be exposed to illnesses that you can’t become immune to.

It's a very good point that nobody would be happy if some stranger came up and took the hand of/stroked the face of their 7-year-old!

No unreasonable.

Not

YANBU!!!
She was rude!
An old lady asked to kiss my 3 year old . . . Um no. At least she asked!
She’s a stranger - that’s so weird!!!

Also this isn’t about germs but common decency!

It used to take a community to raise a child. Babies thrive on eye contact, smiles and human interaction and so do many older people who may have little human contact and love to see a baby. Put an iPad in front of babies face in future and you'll soon be complaining when he's 2 no one notices how wonderful he is .

Yanbu. I don't know why people think it's ok to do this. Well done for saying something.

Definitely YANBU op. I would hate his- I'm such a germaphobe (w/ diagnosed anxiety) and I wouldn't want anyone touching my baby😂😩 (I'd also be washing my hands constantly).

You need a big sign saying please don't touch

This is my pet hate.I was in Tesco with dp and ds3.Who was a few weeks old.

Left dp with the pram,went to get something turned around no dp,pram was still there.With some women rooting around in it.Went over,she said hes crying so im just looking for his soother.He didnt have a dummy and i walked off.Imagine her finding it and putting it in hos mouth.Made me feel sick.

@dustarr73 why did your dp wander off and leave the baby?

YANBU!

I went batshit at a lady once for ripping the hood of my pram back and putting her arms in to "tickle" my 4 week olds tummy. He'd just had life saving surgery on his stomach and not long been home from hospital with tons of stitches.

I don't like any strangers touching my dc to be honest. An old man tried to give my 1 year old a bloody coin the other day. Yes please go ahead and give my baby something to choke on.

Yeah... People can see a baby and interact with it without touching.

Putting money in baby's prams was common back in the day. The old man was trying to be nice. You were there presumably so your baby was never going to choke. While I agree people shouldn't touch babies they don't know, I don't think all this aggression is necessary or nice.

Iknowthatguy He went to get something else,wasnt to far away but had his back to the pram.

I hate it when people do this, but I've accepted that it happens. She shouldn't have challenged you when you asked her not to touch your baby.

I'm truly bewildered by the school of thought that says it's ok to touch a strangers baby without permission
With no other age group would it be acceptable to go up to, and touch, a stranger. Why should it be any different for babies?
My youngest had the most amazing head of, nearly, white blonde curls when he was small. People would comment and reach out to touch his head and then be horrified when he would scream and cry in fear and distress. He was genuinely afraid of people and, to this day, hates anyone touching his head (so trips to the barbershop have to be dealt with very carefully).
With my second son, who was hospitalised at 6 weeks with RSV, I was very aware that people aren't necessarily bacteria factories but aren't always very careful with hand hygiene. As it turned out he has a naturally suppressed immune system and spent a large part of early childhood battling ill health.
I cannot see why people can't fuss over a baby without touching them, they are not public property!
As for the pp who said it takes a village, well, you're right but babies, by their very nature, don't need communal parenting.

General consensus seems to be IWBU, although I do appreciate other points of view.

@MilkyCuppa this is my point when it comes to hand hygiene. I accept that he's going to get sniffles ect and when he's older it will build immunity. I've no intention of keeping him in a bubble but at this age many illnesses transmitted on hands could be serious for him and I'd just prefer to reduce the risk.

@rootsandbranches What a strange thing to say. Why would I give him an iPad? I don't expect or need strangers to 'notice how wonderful he is'! How odd! He has constant interaction with us and wide circle of family and friends. As I said, I have no problem with people cooing and smiling, just not touching.