Aibu to not be able to forgive family for this?

[rosesandrhorns]

I've posted before and I won't re hash everything but for years I've cared alone for my gran who is 96 with dementia.
Aunt lives in Australia but hasn't visited in 4 years.
She calls twice a week.
My anxiety is severe now and depression.
2 years ago my aunt said her phone was broken and if I tried to ring I wouldn't be able to get through,she told me not to worry she would go to her local shopping centre and call from there.
When she was ringing the line seemed clearer than normal.
After a couple of weeks (not sure why ) I called 1471 and it was her UK mobile number.
She was in Leeds and had been there for 2 weeks as her mother in law was going into care home so she went with her husband to help him sort it out.
I never told her I knew as I felt stupid.
She continued with the pretence of being in AUS but she was a hour away down the motorway.
In the mean time my gran was taken into hospital with broken ankle.
She still didn't come.
She went home after a month and to this day doesn't realise I knew.
I can't forgive her for this as I was desperate for a break and she was a hour away.
Could you forgive?

Was it a good positive relationship between your aunt and her mother? Did you live with them from the age of 14? Haven't seen any other threads but like pp have said, it's sad but we cannot expect that others will act like how we will do, or how we want them to. Agree speak to SS and follow up assessment outcome.

At the end of the day its the Aunts mother, not some distant relative. Morally I think she does have some responsibility towards her, not just leaving everything to OP.
Aunt should at least be helping OP now, especially if she is the direct next of kin. Its bad but OP needs to focus upon getting her grandma into a care home and that's it really.

Judging from the other threads and how long this has gone on for, not to mention other families I've seen in this situation, I don't blame them for not wanting to get sucked into this

You raise an interesting point, Snuggy. Granted none of this is easy, but countless suggestions about support have been made over many threads, and all have been resisted

I'm aware from my own caring responsibilities just what exhaustion can do to the mind, but IME the carer has to actively want a solution before anything can happen. In this particular case, I confess I'm starting to wonder just how welcome any involvement from the aunt would actually be