Is it just my kids who haven't got onboard with the things you're supposed to do!

[mincefuckingpies]

They aren't interested in baking. (This is probably because I am shite at it.) So making gingerbread and cookies is out; they'd rather just buy some.

They cried at Santa

If I tried to snuggle up in a blanket and watch Christmas movies with them, I'd be kicked and punched to within an inch of my life and after half an hour they'd wander off.

AIBU to think it's all bollocks, but a few toys and have done with it

My DD has buggered off with DH for some winter sun (leaving me here) so definitely hasn't got the memo about family time either!

@apollo, yes the looking at each other! My 3DC could start ww3 by just looking at each other. And if they should just accidentally brush against each other while sitting on the sofa then it’s carnage! Whereas I can’t stand their fidgeting ... why can’t they just sit still?!

People can be unkind and v literal o here.

If you make anything that seems like a joke about violence you get torn to pieces. Sometimes that makes sense but in this case it seemed obvious to me you meant they wriggle and fidget and it's like getting kicked and punched.

A bit like a say when my d's gets into bed with me at night (there's just me) and manages to kick lumps out of me (asleep) despite massive bed.

I never got mine onboard with decorating the tree, singing carols or being generally festive. I think it’s largely hype tbh.

I did the tree alone yesterday then lit the fire and candles and watched Love Actually. All alone. It was quite nice.

Christmasaurus is utter bollocks, or is that just me. It's written by an adult who thinks children will find him funny. Sorry mate, you're trying too hard.

Before social media everyone had the Christmas yhat just evolved in their house. They never knew whether it was regular or not until a possible inlaw entered the story.
Now its all set up to impress.
Just have whatever Christmas happens in your house. My dm did all the baking , not to impress or make memories but to feed her hungry brood. We played board games for hours, not to put it on instagram but because we had nothing else to do in a tv free house with 7 children in the middle of no where. We would have been an instant success on facebook. My dm could have been a blogger with thousands of hits. Instead she just got on with life.
Enjoy whatever Christmas brings.

It’s about finding what they do like and working round it
I remember long walks collecting branches and pine cones then spraying them with glittery paint in the garden
Some craft kits were ok - some cookery but it depends on age, attention span and level of interest
Carol concerts, panto and circuses were a real no no as was visit to Santa

Puffinhead when you say "carnage" do you mean actual violence. I am appalled you allow your children to wreak havoc and destruction in your home. You need to consider your parenting techniques.

Have you tried the naughty step?

Five minute for each sibling limb removed.

My DS has never been one for sitting still and watching the TV. Even when he does manage a whole film, he will wriggle and fidget and squirm. I presume that the posters who assumed you were talking about your kids actually beating you up are blessed with children who will snuggle and lie still!

I'll go and suggest to my tall, hairy teenager that we snuggle and cuddle up and watch a film whilst enjoying the biscuits we lovingly made.

I'll report back later from a&e I expect.

I would YetAnotherSpartacus but my DC would moan and ask why we don’t just buy shares in Tesco instead

Either your DC are due lumps of coal for Xmess or a subscription to the Financial Times.

I'm thinking that may be the OPs children are a bit younger than the ones who can reasonable be expected to enjoy these things too.

I don’t think it’s posters being too literal, more people sensing an opportunity to give someone a kicking while pretending to be appalled. Extra wanker points if you can be sardonic in your reply too.

I get it, OP - I’ve watched the first twenty minutes of about eleven Christmas films and the only one they can sit through is Arthur Christmas. I remember the days when I loved that bastard film.

I’m sorry if you thought I harsh OP but I can understand the not liking to do Christmas things but hitting and kicking parents not amusing and as for
My DD is 10 and she has never snuggled and watched a film either. She will kick and hit and wander off. My 12 yr old will watch a film though.
really hope a 10 year old is still not kicking and hitting.

All I want is for my lot to come to the garden centre for a photo in the giant snowglobe. They won't even get dressed. Some kids just don't like memory making stuff.
Your op was perfectly clear.

Calm down everyone...I don’t think OP was being completely literal. I know exactly what you mean OP....you can build up in your head these lovely , cosy times that you want to have with your kids and then they have completely different ideas...I have done that so many times :).

@ApolloandDaphne that is absolutely spot on mine are 6 & 3 and that is exactly what Christmas is like. DH and I dream of snuggling in the sofa watching Elf, the kids are bored and fidgety and no one likes mince pies. Ho ho ho!!

@mincefuckingpies come back normality has returned to the thread!

I left mine alone with the tree for two minutes the other day and she stacked her brother's Christmas Eve box on top of hers climbed on and stripped off and ate several tree chocolates.. she's two I definitely need to work on my parenting..

Seems to me you have it just right, OP. Why make a rod for your own back? In a few years time you’ll be able to slope off for some winter sun and let someone else take the strain.

Don't worry Op, anyone with half a brain would realise you're talking about them getting distracted and fidgety. Unfortunately some posters have such dull lives that bitch plopping on here is the highlight of their day .

It's easy to imagine everyone else is having chocolate box moments, that their lives are like those Christmas movies where happy, rosy cheeked children squeal with joy at the sight of a chocolate chip cookie or are beside themselves with the anticipation of bunging tin foil on egg boxes to make Christmas decs . In reality the 'making memories' plans are often a five minute wonder and the dc get bored, distracted and fractious!

Most of us have been there. DS used to get all excited about Santa on tv or in pictures and always insisted he wanted to visit him but from the ages of 2 to 5 he would burst into tears when he finally got close to the big man .

One year I decided we'd do those stained glass cookies people always go on about. The dc wandered off once the bashing of the hard sweets was done leaving me to carry on with the stupid things. When they were finally done I called the dc to come look. Judging by the expressions on their faces I think if they'd know the term 'big fucking whoop' they'd have used it .

Either your DC are due lumps of coal for Xmess or a subscription to the Financial Times

would you believe DH and I are both bankers by trade?

My ds standard response to absolutely anything I suggest is: "No! I hate it!"

I'm hoping it's a phase that goes really fast.

grin would you believe DH and I are both bankers by trade?

Er yeah. Actually, that kinda makes sense. :)