On paper my husband is a ‘decent guy’, ‘ambitious’, ‘hard working’.. he’s nice enough to me day to day and to the kids.
I recently found out he has racked up secret debts into the thousands. He was vile to me every time I tried to talk to him about finances, until I finally threatened solicitors and he told me. There is no good reason for the debt, he’s always had loads of help from his dad with money, he’s just frittered it away. I wish I’d not let him take ownership but it was so stressful managing the money on my own when he is so bad with money, I really hoped he would step up.
We are meant to be working together to clear it, I’m taking on a weekend job. Previously I was a SAHM to two little ones but I’ve now found something I can do which doesn’t incur childcare costs.
But here’s the thing, he’s still got an expensive gym membership he NEVER uses and an expensive bike sat at his parents house he NEVER uses. I suggested selling it but he’s made no effort.
He’s away for a few days studying and I’m home with the kids. The anger is bubbling up, I feel like I HATE him. Is he just too completely stupid to manage money? Why is he doing a frigging degree when he should be learning common sense?!?!
AIBU? How can I manage these angry feelings and this situation?