My mother was a single, unwed mother in the days when it was scandalous. We were very poor but then i was even more poor when i moved out at 18.
I got a job in corporate and didn't have proper clothes and a kind woman told me that she was cleaning out her closet and gave me 2 bin bags of clothes so i could keep my job. She saved my life in many ways. I met dh at that job.
I had an abusive roommate and my ex bf's coworker let me stay with her until i could get a new place. When she went through hard times, years later, dh and i sent christmas packages for her dc every christmas. Clothes, game, toys. Without her, i would have been homeless!
Luckily, (although not this year. This is the worst in decades.) We've been mostly solvent. I usually give away my free coupon's turkey from the stores (the best time was when a little girl came back from outside and said, "my mother said to say thank you! Again." And she gave me a big hug! Bc they were only going to buy enough to get the turkey and they left without buying anything. Just carried out my froz bird).
I saw another mother and young daughter having dinner at "free birthday dinner" restaurant. It was obvious that they were struggling but that she was a loving, attentive mother and loved her little happy girl. As we left, i stopped, smiled, said happy birthday to little girl and left enough to pay for dinner plus a bit more. Then ran to catch up to my family and hide my tears as they get tired of me talking to strangers!
The worst? A few, but once i took my dc's old toys that were quite nice, with very little wear to a charity shop in a poorer neighborhood bc i wanted to give the local children toys that were nicer than usual. I heard a volunteer, who was a doctor's wife tell her peer that she was going to take them to her dgc! I understand that the money goes to charity but i wanted children who wouldn't normally have nice things to get them.
I never gave them anything again. I only give to charity shops that employ people in need so they have first chance.
I also gave dc's transition bed to local church/daycare that helped families on sliding fee scale and needed napping beds. The woman who helped carry the bed in took it for herself. Again, not intended for someone who could afford it new!
I think that if you can, it's the right thing to do; helping people. but in recent years, people aren't always receptive to kindness.
I don't have a fb account. I would be embarrassed to post something.
That's not why you give; giving is a private matter, otherwise it's not to help, its for attention. But i encourage anyone who can, without hurting yourself, to ROAK bc even years later, i feel happy tears at how happy that young mother and her daughter were.
All of us are vulnerable.