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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to say something about this offensive playground rhyme

24 replies

Doesabear · 14/12/2018 21:25

8 year old DD came home from school today and said that a boy in her class had said to her "boys go to college to get some knowledge, girls go to Venus to suck a penis". She told him it was horrible and sexist, he said it wasn't and was funny. My immediate reaction was to want to say something to school, but DP thinks I'm overreacting and that the important thing is that DD can tell us and knows that it's not ok. Teenage DS suggested saying something to the parents. WWYD?

OP posts:
theymademejoin · 14/12/2018 21:28

Definitely say something to the school. Completely inappropriate at any age. It's irrelevant whether the boy understands what it means or not.

Pernickity1 · 14/12/2018 21:29

I remember similar rhymes when I was at school. You could mention it to the teacher (I wouldn’t address the parents unless you know them well as it most likely wouldn’t go down well).

Personally I’d probably leave it... he doesn’t sound like the type who will amount to much in college anyway Grin

Bobswife39 · 14/12/2018 21:31

If it was me I would probably just say to DD yeah it's not very nice and leave it there.

Verbena87 · 14/12/2018 21:34

This is old: I’m 31 and remember it from the playground (also remember replying “girls go to college to get more knowledge, boys go to Jupiter to get even stupider”. Which is clearly not the right thing to accidentally-on-purpose suggest to your daughter)

I think I’d mention it to school. She’s right it’s sexist, and a bit rape-culture-ish to boot.

BoebePhuffay · 14/12/2018 21:34

Speak to the school. That’s horrible.

AnotherPidgey · 14/12/2018 21:38

I'd let the teacher know. It is unpleasant and not appropriate to what that age group needs to know which may be useful information to the teacher.

WorraLiberty · 14/12/2018 21:40

“girls go to college to get more knowledge, boys go to Jupiter to get even stupider”

That's the one I remember too.

IAmW0manHearMeRoar · 14/12/2018 21:40

After I'd calmed down...
I'd speak to the teacher and let them know what kind of thing this little shit child had been saying so they could keep an eye on it or have a word perhaps.
I just asked my DH and he agrees with your DH though.
Sorry I'm no help! Lol.
Massive well done to your DD for telling you though!

FantasticHarryPotter · 14/12/2018 21:51

We did our own version at school.

Girls go to College to get more knowledge boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.

I'd mention it to the teacher it's very sexualised for an 8 year old.

treaclesoda · 14/12/2018 21:54

I've lived a sheltered life, I've never heard either the rhyme in the OP or the one that other posters have mentioned.

But yes, it's horrible. And doubly horrible that it's being repeated by someone so young.

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 14/12/2018 22:01

I would be on the phone to the school if my dd came home having heard that! That is appalling! Especially considering your dd is 8!

Petalflowers · 14/12/2018 22:02

I’ve never heard of either version either, but I would mention it to the teacher, or send an email. It is inappropriate (and sexist).

Original poster
Doesabear · 14/12/2018 22:15

Yes I think I'll mention it to school, it needs nipping in the bud. I did say to DP what about the girls who can't tell their parents, and think they have to put up with listening to this crap. Before you know it they'll be getting told it's just banter, they don't have a sense of humour etc etc...

OP posts:
Skittlesandbeer · 14/12/2018 22:16

Our (catholic) primary would def want to know about this.

Although 3 days before the long Xmas break (I’m in Australia), I’d likely get fobbed off a bit!! In normal term time it would be handled with great seriousness.

I’d put it to the teacher as ‘this phrase is doing the rounds of the class’ rather than using names. I’d say clearly that the sexism was as concerning as the smuttiness.

Skittlesandbeer · 14/12/2018 22:17

Oh, and I’d be writing it in an email. But brava to those mums who could see themselves saying it out loud to the principal on the phone!

TheBigFatMermaid · 14/12/2018 22:18

8!! FFS I would be going to the school. I have a 12 year old boy and a 13 year old girl. If my DS came out with this both me and DD would shoot him down with flames, but he would not. I wonder if there is anyone in this boy's home to inform him! You need to go to the school to ensure it happens one way or another!

Your DP is right to be impressed with your DD, but moving forward, she will have years at school with this person, so it is best he is educated!

Amallamard · 14/12/2018 22:20

Tell the school. That's massively inappropriate, especially at that age!

Italiangreyhound · 14/12/2018 22:34

Tell the school. It's shit.

overlyPrivileged · 15/12/2018 09:30

It's inappropriate. I'd email the teacher.

"Rape-culture"? WTF?

masterandmargarita · 15/12/2018 10:09

If some kid talked to my 8 year old dd about fellatio, I'd be pretty unimpressed

Jayfee · 15/12/2018 10:12

Phone the school. Not acceptable at all.

ninjawarriorsocks · 15/12/2018 10:15

Yes I’d talk to the school. It’s inappropriate and she shouldn’t have to listen to that at school. The child may just be repeating something he has heard and may not really understand it himself but someone (a teacher) needs to explain to him that it’s not an appropriate thing to be chanting at school.

ninjawarriorsocks · 15/12/2018 10:16

PS don’t talk to the parents yourself that never goes well.....

taxiforMIL · 15/12/2018 10:28

I’d tell her it was silly and inappropriate and I’d leave it at that.

Do we need to run to the school about everything?

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