To ask for your weird names for periods

[Threadkillerextroadinaire]

So I'm very boring and usually just go for "that time of the month" but I've read some cracking names for periods on threads and I want to know your favourites. AIBU to ask you for the weird and wonderful things you call it?

On my blob
That time of the month

Or simply.. got my period

DM called it “The Curse”, which is very encouraging not to a shy, sporty teenager, doubled up with stomach cramps.

Esmeralda, or The Big Red P

We recently had our living room decorated and I felt terribly uncomfortable saying we had painters in to all and sundry.
With DH it is called my woman's period. I think that originates from a comedy sketch, but cannot for life of me recall which one

Arsenal playing at home; Arsene’s boys at the Emirates; or just footballers in my pants; plus commentary as to the state of the match (gearing up for the big one; a long and hard-fought battle; into extra time; waiting for the final whistle) - endless possibilities really.

Peregrina my yoga teacher calls it the 'moon cycle' as in 'if anyone is having their moon cycle, you should modify the pose like this' etc.

I don't really like period euphemisms but DH and I are massive IT crowd fans so I do sometimes say 'fallen to the communists'

Someone I know used to say she was ‘up the fudd’ which took me a while to figure out As in opposite of up the duff? Amazing

‘I’m in the posh club’. After an early sexy encounter with my then new-ish DP. We were getting amorous on the cream sofa so he grabbed an old towel, which had ‘posh club’ embroidered on it. We couldn’t stop laughing about it and it stuck

Oh and my mum calls it 'gushing' which is just plain unpleasant...

With DH it is called my woman's period. I think that originates from a comedy sketch, but cannot for life of me recall which one

It's from Red Dwarf. My husband and I use it occasionally too.

I read Satan's Waterfall once which I enjoyed but my husband hated.

I know the feeling @SomeBigBaubles, hang in there.

Some bigbaulbles

Monthly reminder of the beauty and wonder of being a woman.

I would never use it and find it a bit gross but laughed at Sarah millicans ‘WI week...as I’m making jam’

Thank you @LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag ! Total blank mind where it had come from!

I am usually on my period but if I’m feeling coy I’m off games.

On my period, or having been invaded by the Russians, having the Russians over, Russian visitors; anything to do with Russians. That started as “fallen to the communists” from IT crowd and slowly morphed into Russians, a double joke as OH is Swedish, and the swedes fear a Russian invasion most of all!

I live in Canada and have heard an Indigenous woman refer to it as her moon-time.

Shark week!