To ask for your weird names for periods

[Threadkillerextroadinaire]

So I'm very boring and usually just go for "that time of the month" but I've read some cracking names for periods on threads and I want to know your favourites. AIBU to ask you for the weird and wonderful things you call it?

Riding the cotton pony

A friend used to say she was having her ‘funnies’ ......

Tom - Time of the Month, my friend refers to it as Henry is visiting.

A friend talked about her moons. I am a bit surprised that no one else has come up with this.

I just call them periods, but I enjoy hearing:

"Surfing the crimson wave" (that's from Clueless, I think), and
"Got the painters in" (Chewin' the Fat - Scots)

We call them periods when needed to discuss.

However in the house we’re either on shark week, riding the crimson wave or our red flower is blooming

When my daughter was little I used to call it'blood time', so I still do now.

Blood time? How fucking gross

Some time ago I came across this Guide to South Yorkshire dialect for foreign doctors which has a few phrases for menstruation.

My favourite is "Barnsley's at home"

I just say I'm on my pissing, fucking, bastardy period. I HATE having periods.

Actually DH and I say 'the shops closed' but we do it in a ironic way so maybe the 'cliche' police on this thread will let me off.

I think a lot of people use euphemisms for fun and not because they are embarrassed or uptight. It's just a jokey way to talk about them.

I normally just say I've got my period or sometimes I'm on/I've just come on.

The most euphemistic I get is "time of the month", which I only really used to say to a slightly uptight ex fwb.

My flatmate says "it's my time"... which always makes me think she's about to burst into a west end musical number...

Up on bricks
Painters are in
I'm cursed

Although if I'm using it as an excuse not to do something I'll say, for eg, "I can't possibly do the washing up, I'm MENSTRUATING!!!"

I'm blobbing or on the blob

My doodahs😃

I just say period.

A friend from school once told me her granny called it beanies. I couldn't look at baked beans for ages afterwards. 🤮

I say 'Harry's here.' Short for harry hormones. When i was a teen i had a name for everything and that one stuck.

Don’t have them anymore, but I used to call it periods, or time of the month. Also, being On.

Forgotten the blob reference. Used to,use that when I was a lot younger. 80s?

Haven’t heard of a lot of these.

My OH calls it 'Women's Week'. I am allowed to beat him to death with one of his own limbs yeah?

I've at times called it "the red" - I'm on the red/the red has started though I'm far more likely to just say my cycle has finally restarted or call it menstruation when discussing it.

I think 'the red' started way back when tracking my cycles in a paper planner which I'd been recommended to do in red pencil. Now I do so digitally, still in red.

It's only really with my DH I use the names for it.

He once commented on how tampons look like bullets, so his nick name for them became 'ammo' and then it was joining tampon and ammo to make 'Tammo'. The name 'Tammo time' has now stuck! He still asks me in the supermarket if I need more ammo!!

treehouse Yup, my OH often asks if Liverpool are playing at home (I'm Scouse, he's not) and the first time he ever said it to me, I answered "No, we're at the Emirates"

love flying the japanese flag! at school we used to say “tom’s coming” (time of month). now me & dh call it ‘bloods’

i’ve also known people to say “i’m on my/ive got my p.”

"I can't go windsurfing." Because when I first got together with DH we did both go windsurfing and I'd never tried tampons (I did in the end, and went windsurfing, but the expression stuck.)