To ask for your weird names for periods

[Threadkillerextroadinaire]

So I'm very boring and usually just go for "that time of the month" but I've read some cracking names for periods on threads and I want to know your favourites. AIBU to ask you for the weird and wonderful things you call it?

I tell DH and (teenage) DS that I am bleeding heavily from my genital area. THAT'S why I'm grouchy

I just say that I am on my period, or that I am on.

Boring and call it time of the month too. Was talking about this the other day and someone called a sanitary towel 'a hammock for a lazy c☆☆☆' !

Liverpool are playing at home.

Only used between DH and I, otherwise could cause confusion

Dh says I'm "in season" (he's owned a lot of dogs)

I almost can't believe this is 2018. My DM is in her 80's and wouldn't talk like this.
I grew up in the 70's and even we didn't use these silly euphemisms
How will women ever be treated equally and seriously when they use silly words to describe a perfectly normal bodily function as if they are ashamed that they menstruate

I know someone who refers to coming on as 'dropping her jam' and I'm never sure whether it's absolutely vile or absolutely hilarious. Bit of both I think! And while I agree with a PP that women shouldn't use euphemisms to spare the feelings of people who might be horrified by perfectly normal bodily functions I also think English as a language has always nicknamed and used metaphors and so on - it can be quite fun. For example, my OH and I refer to doing the big shop as 'rounding some rabbits up' thanks to a convoluted inside joke - I don't see shark week etc as vastly different from that (although obviously - because it's related to women's bodies the chances are that the euphemisms came from a place of a shame, but that doesn't mean women can't use them and find them funny)

DH and i nicknamed it "penelope period" which shortened to "penel" but we're trying to get out of the habbit as we really like the name penelope if we had a daughter!

Just period or bleeding here (although may have to rethink the last one after the ‘bleeders’ uproar). My mother says ‘time of the month’ in a slower and quieter voice than normal, the same volume and speed she reserves for talking about ‘down there’ and ‘loose motions’.

Period
But the first time I heard the painters in I thought it was hilarious.

All references to Rags, on her rag, lost her rag etc all refer to the Rags (bits of cloth) used as sanitary protection. The first screen to remove biggish items at the waste water plant is the Rag Screen. They still screen out sanitary products

I find I rarely need to mention it! At home I may say ‘just don’t start with me...😡’

And for someone further up - Aunt Irma was mentioned in the IT crowd when Jen turned into a demon and I think the boys got sympathetic periods too (?).

My mum would always say are you on? Or oh you must be coming on when I would be even more moody than usual!! It makes my cringe. I just say period to my daughters.

Me cringe

I just say I've come on. Boring but universally understood without being vile - on the blob or on the rag makes me shudder a bit.

At the moment I call it 'sorry hon, I'm not pregnant. Again.'

Slayer.
As in it’s Raining Blood.

(I’m well aware this is vile).

With my ex I used to call it "my secret bleeding problem" It was from some complaint Claire Rayner got about adverts (wohhhhhhhh bodyform, bodyform for yoooouuuu!) being shown and the woman said something like "men mustn't know about our secret bleeding problem" which we found hilarious and so called it that.

I'm another one who hates all the twee euphemisms and always call it my period except occasionally at home I'll tell my husband I've fallen to the communists as an IT Crowd reference.

I tend to just say "menses" or "periods".

Tell my husband Krampus is here. (cramps are the worst)

My brother calls it "shark week" when talking about his wife, because she won't take their 2yo swimming that week, and also she is liable to bite his head off at any slight annoyance. 🤣

I agree with Christmasgone2018 about treating it as the perfectly normal bodily function it is; and this includes using the correct term.

I think it is a feminist issue for menstruation to be regarded as dirty or shameful and that it needs to be acknowledged and normalised.

We always just used the word menstruation, menstruating, etc. I really don't like using the term “period”, let alone any of the twee or misogynistic euphemisms. (Although some of them are really funny)

My male housemates at uni referred to it as "lady time" once, which made me laugh, so henceforth it was called lady time, but said in a exaggerated "laydeee tiime" voice

I pretty much just say period now that I'm a grown up tho

I just say period.
I once worked with a woman who would say “I’m haemorrhaging” in response to the casual greeting “How are you?”. I found it a bit startling at first especially as she was just making coffee for customers and wasn’t lying on the floor needing a tourniquet. I do understand that some women bleed extremely heavily and don’t doubt she was one such woman but... she was so direct about it!

Shark Week 😁 🦈

Not all euphemisms are 'bad'.

Some are used out of cultural discomfort - we tend to indicate situations rather than give details. Nothing wrong with those euphemisms when they are appropriate to their situations.

Some euphemisms are offensive because they diminish a proper and normal aspect of womanhood.

And some euphemisms display our language and culture's wonderful capacity for punning. They're part of our slang, whether just between partners or more widely.