Family

[AmeliaB2018]

Hi All.

My daughter is 5 months old tomorrow and barely any body bothers with her, Christmas is coming and no one has asked how she is (they’re aware she’s been poorly) or says let’s come and see her. Her “auntie” hasn’t seen her since she was 4 days old, she only ever speaks to us when she wants money. I won’t take her to family members homes due to uncleanliness. Would I be unreasonable in saying no to anyone who wants to see her from now on? Thank you x

they come in and out of her life continuously.

This is a ridiculous thing to write about a five month old.

I get that you want your family to see your baby more, but honestly, the baby is too young to know, care, or understand.

It might get better when she gets older (some people don't do well with babies), or you might have to accept that that's the level of involvement they want. I get that that is hard, but pushing them further away by saying the can't visit won't make you feel better in the long run.

Concentrate on friends (or making new ones), get out and about with your baby, and stop trying to push the family thing. I do think the fact that they always have to come to yours (even with good reason) makes it harder.

How much did you see them before she was born?

Of course YABU.

Tell us what it is about the houses of all family members that mean you can't possible go there for an hour or two.

You don't have to 'check they aren't coming to visit before you make plans' . YAB ridiculous. If nobody has told you they are coing to visit, then you assume they aren't. If they are people that 'pop in' then they take their chance, but you've said the never visit you, so it seems unlikely.

A baby who is 5 months old doesn't have the foggiest idea if they have met someone before, or how often they have met them. So they aren't confusing your baby.

Why on earth do you think cutting off all contact with family is going to be better than seeing them occasionally, when you are upset at them only seeing her occasionally ?

Do you not understand that having a relationship with anyone is a 2 way thing. That refusing to visit anyone is hardly the way to foster good relationships with them ?