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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if anyone in Buckinghamshire could do me a Janet and Roy favour!

28 replies

HavelockVetinari · 13/12/2018 13:47

I'm sending a Janet and Roy, which needs to have a Buckinghamshire postmark - if I post the stamped envelope inside another envelope, would a very kind volunteer based in Bucks post it for me? I will also send chocolate as a thank you!

P.S. this recipient definitely deserves a Janet and Roy, he pranked me dreadfully a couple of months ago and revenge is required!

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Crusoe · 13/12/2018 13:48

I will. Pm me

alltoomuchrightnow · 13/12/2018 13:49

I can if need x

HavelockVetinari · 13/12/2018 13:50

Thank you both! Crusoe I'll PM you immediately, thank you!

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BeekyChitch · 13/12/2018 14:01

Can I ask - What's a Janet and Roy?

ShartGoblin · 13/12/2018 14:10

Is there a thread for this? I'd love to write one!

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 13/12/2018 14:12

Another who doesn't get the Janet and Roy reference Blush

thefuriousfuggler · 13/12/2018 14:16

Janet and Roy letters are totally fictitious Round Robin Christmas updates which are kindly posted by (or even written by) other Mumsnetters from appropriate locations to ensure a convincing postmark and consternation from the lucky recipients who obviously have no idea who Janet and Roy are Grin

mirren3 · 13/12/2018 14:41

Is it not a rule that you have to tell us what's in the card.... a bit like a parking thread diagram? If there is no rule, there should be! 😊

HavelockVetinari · 13/12/2018 14:45

It's all extremely boring stuff about Roy being voted chairman of the golf club, and other banal things stolen from previous Janet and Roy threads. I did include an oblique reference to what happened to Colin! I got a friend to write the card in case my handwriting is recognized, and have said that Janet and Roy will pop in on them in between Christmas and New Year! I've tipped off the recipient's wife so she's not bemused/worried and she's going to play along (she was pranked too at the same time as me).

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HavelockVetinari · 13/12/2018 14:45

Dearest friends,

Another year has swept past, and what a busy year it’s been! We have so much news to share with you all and we just hope that we’ll be able to share it with you in person next year.

Roy has been elected Chairman of the golf club. It’s been a long time coming but the wait has been worth it and, it must be said, he looks terribly swish in his club tie and Chairman’s lapel pin. The Arch Rival has been safely dispatched to sunny Florida so we can now finally put that saga behind us and look forward to an exciting golfing calendar next year.

Janet is as busy as ever at the WI. Her damson and blackberry was voted the best jam at the autumn fair, although her coconut and papaya sponge didn’t go down as well as we had hoped. She and Jennifer are as thick as thieves planning the children’s carol concert, to be held on the green this year as a change from the church. The annual standoff with the vicar is in full swing but from the plans, it promises to be a spectacular event.

Some of you will know that our little group has disbanded. We still meet for the odd dinner party but it was felt that going on as we had before would be in poor taste after the tragedy earlier this year. Colin’s presence is certainly missed and we’re doing all we can for his wife and Barbara, although it’s difficult of course. Our Saturday nights had become rather dull but we’ve been keeping ourselves busy, which brings us on to the next item…

The house has had a complete overhaul. Denise came from town to instruct the architect and interior designer on how to maximise the old place’s potential in strict accordance with the classical bagua of Feng Shui and the difference is astonishing. The orangery is our new yoga studio and we are thoroughly enjoying our sun salutations. We’ve taken out the downstairs bedroom and en-suite and converted the space into an extended dining room. As the children have flown the nest (yes, Thomas is gone!) Denise had free rein over all the rooms upstairs and we have four beautiful new guest bedrooms, which you are all invited to use as often as you can.

As mentioned, Thomas moved out in March and has set up a smart bachelor pad in Chelsea. He and the girls are doing very well but we won’t bore you too much with their news as they assure us they have everyone on LinkedIn and Twitter. No sign of grandchildren yet but our brood have always been career-minded so we don’t mind too much. They’re all coming for Christmas with assorted partners, which will be just like old times, except for Colin’s absence.

Speaking of which, we lost Horatio this summer. The garden was redone at the same time as the house so he was lovingly buried under a new pebble walk. We cross it barefooted every morning to boost the circulation and it’s lovely to have that time to think of him. He’s been sadly missed this autumn, silly old puss. He used to chase the leaves and bring them to us as presents, which we much preferred to the mice Frances insists on dragging into the kitchen.

We spent a week in Klosters in February as usual but unknowingly booked our chalet during half term so it was rather ruined by the hordes of screaming schoolchildren on the pistes. Words were had but nothing was to be done so we retreated to Scuol and spent a luxurious few days being pampered instead. Roy attended each of the majors with Timothy and in August Janet and Emma flew out to Shanghai to choose the finishing touches to the guest bedrooms and we now have ravishing lily themes in each. A proper holiday was certainly in order after the exhausting renovations so we decided to be a bit naughty and book a last-minute retreat at The Farm at San Benito in September. It was before the typhoon of course and utterly heavenly.

…Which brings our little note to a close. We hope you’ve enjoyed sharing our ups and downs and we look forward to reading all yours. As you know, we have plenty of space so please do come to see us in the new year.

Wishing you a very merry Christmas, with love,

Janet and Roy

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BeekyChitch · 13/12/2018 14:47

Hahaha that's amazing. I need to try this on my friend.

HavelockVetinari · 13/12/2018 14:55

Happy to post one from Derbyshire/Yorkshire if you like @BeekyChitch Grin

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mirren3 · 13/12/2018 15:33

That's brilliant, poor poor Colin 😉

BeekyChitch · 13/12/2018 15:46

@HavelockVetinari would you?! I'll pm you (tonight once I've worked out how to!) with details and I can gift you some tablet or any other delicious Scottishy things you would like Grin

Villanellesproudmum · 13/12/2018 15:49

That’s brilliant Grin

Pineapplepassion · 13/12/2018 15:55

That's so funny!!!
I read the obscure ones my mum gets and think I may do this to her this Christmas.

BoswellandForshort · 13/12/2018 15:56

Oh this is hilarious! I need to do this to my mum.

I’m in Hampshire, if anyone wants to do a swap.

doggydoodoo1 · 13/12/2018 16:24

I would love to do this if anyone wants to swap? I'm on the East Sussex / Kent border 😆😆

KateGrey · 13/12/2018 16:44

I’m so tempted. I’m in Essex if I can help anyone out.

ElainaElephant · 13/12/2018 16:48

Just an observation - if it's signed Janet and Roy, surely one of their paragraphs would have been in the first person?

Or do people do their round Robins in the third person?

Other than that, it's one of the best I've seen!

ChristmasFairy2018 · 13/12/2018 16:54

Does it have to be signed Janet and Roy?

Flooffloof · 13/12/2018 16:59

Damn I don't have anyone to send one to. But happy to send for anyone. From oop north, Yorkshire way.

RayRayBidet · 13/12/2018 17:05

I'm in Germany, would love to do this.
Could be from Helga and Karl! That would really have them scratching their heads

HavelockVetinari · 13/12/2018 17:19

@RayRayBidet I would LOVE it if you'd send one from Germany to my aunt and uncle, they'd find it hilarious once I let them know it was a joke! Helga and Karl sound splendid!

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