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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To pay for meal using a discount code

23 replies

FirstNameSurname · 13/12/2018 10:40

A few friends I know go out for a Christmas meal on the last week of school. Normally I'm not able to go (due to money) so they pop in after for coffee before we collect DCs.
This year they are going to a place I can get my main for £5.

I realised the polite thing to do would be to use my code and still split the bill evenly. But I can't afford this. Would IBU to use my code for my meal and only pay for that, a drink and contribute to the tip?

Friends are aware of my financial situation, the code isn't dependant on their purchase (I could go in alone and still use it) and they could still use another discount of they have one.

OP posts:
GingerInAJam · 13/12/2018 10:45

YANBU. I can't imagine having a problem with a friend doing this, especially if they were struggling financially. I hope that you enjoy your meal.

Youngandfree · 13/12/2018 10:47

Yes do it of course! Go and have a good evening!!

Cclmsc · 13/12/2018 10:48

I wouldnt bother going. Your gonna have to ask for a separate bill and then add your own code and prob get talked about after.
How comes you can never afford to go out for 1 Christmas meal? Is it not possible to save in advance?

Rtmhwales · 13/12/2018 10:51

I wouldn't mind at all if my friends did this. Go for it. Ignore the previous poster. You can do it on the same bill and just contribute what you owe.

Smarshian · 13/12/2018 10:54

I would say it's fine to do but that you should be clear what you are doing and why, so others don't think it's mean. Can friends get their own code by doing whatever you've done to get yours? Could then share that info before you go.

GingerInAJam · 13/12/2018 10:54

You can only save if you have money to spare. I don't know the OP's exact circumstances and they're not really germane to the thread but many people can't save money because there's nothing left to keep back once all of the essential expenses have been taken care of.

Also, why would the OP's friends talk about her? I assume they wouldn't be so nasty as to do that because they're supposed to be her friend and know her financial situation. Also there's nothing wrong with wanting to pay separately so long as you make it clear from the start.

Brokenanother1 · 13/12/2018 11:00

Yanbu your friends know your financial situation and can use a discount themselves. Fine if they don't want/need to but I wouldn't have a problem with it. Go and enjoy your meal. There are so many expenses at this time of year. I understand it is not possible to save for 'extras'

babysharkah · 13/12/2018 11:01

I think yang as it's going to be a ball ache to work out unless you have your own individual bill. If you are that skint keep the money and buy a nice dinner or m and s meal deal.

ShartGoblin · 13/12/2018 11:01

If one of my friends did this I certainly wouldn't talk about them behind their back and I would offer to pay the £5 for them. That's just what friends do. Pop them a quick message explaining so they don't think you're a CF and have a lovely meal.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 13/12/2018 11:04

It would really upset me if a friend didn't come to a meal because they were worried about using a voucher. Especially if I knew they were struggling financially. Please go and have a fabulous time .

SillyLittleBiscuit · 13/12/2018 11:10

No way would I mind if one of my friends did this. Talk to them.

GirlAtTheRockShow · 13/12/2018 11:11

I wouldn't be bothered if a friend did this, maybe mention it to your friends beforehand - just to save having to explain on the day! As a PP has mentioned, is it something you could all do maybe, even if your other friends can afford to pay for the meal, everyone loves a bargain still! Ignore the PP who said you'd "get talked about" Hmmif they're your friends, they most certainly won't talk about you! Enjoy your meal!

Thehop · 13/12/2018 11:11

Tell your friends that this code means you can have a chance to go this year, they won’t mind a bit.

Nicpem1982 · 13/12/2018 11:15

I wouldn't have a problem with this especially knowing your financial situation.

Go amd enjoy your night Xmas Smile

FirstNameSurname · 13/12/2018 11:15

The code is linked to my phone contract, I only have one code and they aren't with my provider. They have always made an effort to include me (popping in after) so I don't think they would talk about me (my financial situation is well known to all of them). I was just wanting to see the other side, how people would feel it someone in a group used a code and didn't share the saving in my situation.

OP posts:
wednesday32 · 13/12/2018 11:16

If they are true friends they will not judge you for this situation. Of course you should still go. Maybe you could tell them how also to get this discount code/signup and you can all get the offer x

FirstNameSurname · 13/12/2018 11:17

I've already mentioned to the organiser that I might be able to come this year as I have a code for that restaurant but I'll make it know to all before going.

OP posts:
curlii103 · 13/12/2018 11:18

Perfectly reasonable and dont let any one tell you otherwise. If your friends come for coffee they obviously want to include you. Don't sit and think they'll talk about you. Hsvr s great time x

Puggles123 · 13/12/2018 11:18

I’ve done this before, if you’re anxious about it maybe just mention it beforehand to them and to the waiter/waitress when you order so there’s no awkwardness when it comes to bill paying. If they’re decent friends they should be happy you have a way of attending!

Fairyliz · 13/12/2018 11:22

Yes talk to your friends and explain the situation.
I used to have a friend who regularly turned down invitations. Eventually I assumed that it was because she wasn't that keen on seeing me and was trying to drop the friendship.

Turned out she was having money difficulties. If she had told me I would have been happy to pay for her, she was my friend I enjoyed her company and I could afford to occasionally treat her.
It seems sad the years we wasted not seeing each other.

suddenlypanicked · 13/12/2018 11:26

@Cclmsc

You sound soo detached.

OP I definitely think your friends won't mind at all if you use the code and will be so pleased you can come this year.

Christmas isn't easy especially with financial pressures

Sending you the love and I think it's really great you have sorted something out to go along too x

leahlemur · 13/12/2018 15:21

I know which code you're talking about and I think I used to work in the restaurant it's valid for as a waitress. I had people use their codes all the time when out with friends whether that was just 1 other person or a group of them so I don't think it's unusual at all. I'm sure your friends will be happy that you're able to join them, and you may as well make use of one of the perks of your phone contract if you can!

EspressoButler · 13/12/2018 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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