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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Payoff

18 replies

Bootleg · 12/12/2018 20:48

Hypothetically speaking, is there any scenario you would accept a payoff from a famous person rather than have your character/morals/underwear and past picked to shreds in the courts and media?

(It really is hypothetical but please delete if not allowed)

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 12/12/2018 20:51

Payoff against what? A rape?

SilverDoe · 12/12/2018 20:53

To be honest yes if I were a victim of a crime committed by a very famous person, rightly or wrongly I would be very afraid of either backlash from this person’s supporters and like you say I would hate for my identity to be made public, it would ruin my life.

Original poster
Bootleg · 12/12/2018 20:55

Yes Georgie

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 12/12/2018 20:57

No.

theworldistoosmall · 12/12/2018 20:58

Because of my job I would take a payoff.

CrabbyPatty · 12/12/2018 20:58

Morally you could argue its not right as this person wouldn't face any justice, particularly if they have money to burn, but I also feel self-preservation might be the best you can get out of this decision. The court processes are brutal and not victim centric and the general public accuse victims/survivors of being attention seekers and liars.

Notacluethisxmas · 12/12/2018 21:01

No. I wouldn't want their money.

I can't imagine taking money in exchange for silence, from my rapist.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 12/12/2018 21:01

Yes I would.

theworldistoosmall · 12/12/2018 21:05

Posted too soon.
I would have to protect my children from the backlash of me being outed as an escort. It, of course, wouldn't be an easy decision but I would have to think about them. I could handle all the negativity that would be chucked my way, but they couldn't and it wouldn't be fair on them to put them in that situation.
There's also other stuff from my far past that could also come to the surface, and it wouldn't be fair on them to be aware of this.

Original poster
Bootleg · 12/12/2018 21:16

Why would you assume the victim is an escort?!?

OP posts:
Thehop · 12/12/2018 21:17

Yes I would

Hidillyho · 12/12/2018 21:21

Maybe theworldistoosmall is an escort?

I would probably take a payoff. I had to give a statement to the police when I was younger against someone who abused me. It was awful and nothing ever happened to the person. The chances of getting a conviction against a rapist is small too

Pandamodium · 12/12/2018 21:43

Yes, I would be ripped to shreds in court with my past issues. Truthfully I wouldn't report a rape no matter who committed it.

theworldistoosmall · 12/12/2018 21:55

I'm not assuming the victim is an escort. I am saying I am, hence I would do so to protect those around me.

Original poster
Bootleg · 12/12/2018 22:11

Oh I as taken you up completely wrong world! Apologies!

OP posts:
MincePieMum · 12/12/2018 23:14

Totally different but...I've been bullied at work to a horrendous degree. Did everything right, involved HR, who allowed it to continue etc. They were never going to discipline or fire the person bullying me, and it was due to my disability. Very clear cut and factual evidence over a sustained period. I accepted a payout.

This was 2 years ago and I still think about the injustice every day. I have not got over it. I blame myself for not standing up to them, selling out and not taking a stand. I accepted a significant sum, equal to around 18 months salary, tax free. And I still can't live with myself.

If it was rape...fucking hell. How would anyway be able to box that off in their mind and move on? I know I wouldn't be able to.

StoneofDestiny · 12/12/2018 23:41

If you have got into discussions about a payoff, then I assume conversations have taken place where guilt was admitted and payoff discussed as an option. Surely you could record the conversations and then take them to court with proof.

Hidillyho · 13/12/2018 08:01

If it was rape...fucking hell. How would anyway be able to box that off in their mind and move on?

You probably wouldn’t, but like I said up thread. Rape convictions are hard to get. The person who sexually abused me (including rape) got nothing after I reported it. This was someone who wasn’t famous and therefore had limited money. A famous person has more income to hire top lawyers to defend them.
Considering I have already had someone arrested this would definitely be bought up and I would have to defend myself whilst the persons legal team made me out to be making it up.
I have heard that you are advised not to get councilling (I assume so the jury can see your real emotions in court). Add in being interrogated to the rape mix then you will potentially come out mentally worse and probably no guilty verdict to show for it

I’m not saying it’s right, I am saying that sometimes you have to self preserve if you want to try to move on.
Accusing a famous person of rape would never go away... Michael Jackson, Jimmy Savile plus Chad Evens (who out of the 3 was the only one found guilty) are still all spoken about now

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