Friend just bailed on me...

[Driana555]

I have an 8 week old daughter. Spent all week preparing mentally to leave him to go on my work do which is tomorrow night. My friend who was meant to have my daughter for me has just bailed, at 19:45 the night before saying she has a cold. Fair enough I can't argue with or be annoyed at that... AIBU though to be really gutted that I can't go? I've paid £40 for it which is a lot to lose at the moment and was just looking forward to my first adult meal in weeks. Even bought a lovely outfit to cover my postpartum wobbly bits. Why am I so upset? I could genuinely cry. It's pathetic. Literally have nobody else to have her this short notice.

Gutted... :(

Have you posted on the WhatsApp group yet to say you can't make it for that reason? If you say how disappointed you are, they might change their minds about your baby coming along.

@ClemDanFango I missed your post. I'm not near London but how sweet of you. Thank you

@Aquamarine1029 I don't think I would want to leave my 8 week old with a teenager I've not met before. Is that silly?

Just take the baby. It’s 1pm and you have no choice

Just brazen it out

I don't think I would want to leave my 8 week old with a teenager I've not met before. Is that silly?

Not silly at all! I was just thinking that if you knew the co-worker well, chances are their teen would be a responsible one. And perhaps they have lots of babysitting experience. Just a thought! How far away from home would you be?

I'm sorry OP, that's really shit.

I wouldn't take your baby to the lunch though. Your colleagues have made it clear that it's an adult's event.

Take your baby. It’s a lunchtime thing. Your baby will probably be asleep and won’t interfere with any boozyness. Your colleagues might need reminding by your boss that it’s the season of goodwill etc.

@Driana555 - no it’s not silly, I wouldn’t leave my 8 week old baby with a random teenager Iv never met before either!

Text the organizer and tell him/her that your babysitter let you down. They'd probably rather have you there with your baby than have an empty seat?

Really don't see why baby cannot go if it's 1pm! There's no law that says you can't take your baby!

I wouldn’t take the baby either though like others are saying even though it’s a lunch time thing. Your colleagues probably have families too and are looking forward to some kid free time having a drink and don’t want a baby there. No offence but I wouldn’t!

If your in Manchester I’ll babysit or sit in next door pub!

1pm on a weekday? Who would normally be looking after baby while you're at work?

You can't take the baby. It totally changes the dynamic having an infant there and they've already said no children. I'm so sorry to hear you can't go OP but I guess it's the cost of being a parent.

Busy - baby is 8 weeks old

Where roughly are you?

Busybarbara Surely OP is on mat leave with an 8 week old baby?

i'd offer to babysit but I am still battling flu. Never pay up front for these things. I know I used have to organise the buggers. Is there a colleague going who has a partner babysitting their kids to look after baby for two hours?

I suspect she's read on here the rants after someone has come visiting small baby with a cold.

But yes, take baby along. I did with dd1 and dd2 when they were around 6-8 weeks on dh's work do. Both times it caused great amusement among the other people (dh was the first to have a baby in around 10-15 years at the company). They got passed round all sorts of people.

An 8 week old at lunch is totally different to say 12-18 month old or a baby being at an evening thing. If it was me I'd text the group saying I'm either going to have to cancel or bring the baby and see what they say.

FWIW I took my then 9 week old to my works Xmas lunch do (pub meal) and it was no bother. Maybe I was just lucky but your colleagues do sound a bit harsh. In fact my boss actually took baby for hugs the entire time. I enjoyed my first hands free meal in ages!

I agree with others if it's 1pm in a pub I would take the baby along. It's actually easier at that age as they can't run about! We did this when staying in a hotel going for dinner. It would probably do you good to get out even if it's just for an hour.

Another one saying take the baby.

I'm sorry OP. There will be other nights though it does feel very upsetting at the time when everyone else is carrying on with real life without you!

I'd respond to the whatsapp group to say your babysitter bailed and you can no longer go if babies are banned. Hopefully someone would respond to say just bring him. It would be a shame if no one did as an 8 week old will most likely sleep their way through the meal - very different to an older baby needing feeding in a high chair or their own place at the table.

Any local Childminder’s you can ask to help?
Happens lots on our local Facebook pages. People desperately need childcare for a few hours and usually at least one childminder will have a space on that day.
At least you know they are qualified and dbs checked.

I know it's disappointing but would you really risk your baby catching a cold this young? I honestly wouldn't it's just not worth it, even though its a break from the monotony for a few hours.