AIBU to want to eat just one meal without...

[Chopbob]

...wiping somebody's arse! Just the toddlers up to now but it could well include DH at some point 😂

Every. Single. Meal.

They are like Pavlov's dogs but trained to open their bowels at the sound of cutlery lol

Help me keep my sanity with your tales of dinner time ridiculousness

This isn't as bad as yours, but one of our dogs waits until I sit down to eat and then needs wants to be let out into the garden. It (almost) never fails. She knows we're getting ready to eat, but she waits to "ask" until I'm sitting down. Sometimes I manage to get her to go out before it's time to sit and eat, but more often I either don't remember in time or am busy cooking/prepping for mealtime. So then one of us has to stand there and wait for her to come back in (or else she'll bark at the door the whole meal-- yes, she's spoiled). Fortunately, she doesn't usually take long!

My cat used to do this, admittedly I didn't need to wipe her arse, but it stunk!

Now we're in a different house (so different layout) she goes and slurps water- drives DP insane .

She manages to be noisy doing anything.

My son does this! If I try to feed him or me he immediately needs a poo. He’s 2 so I’m responsible for wiping and possibly cleaning a potty too. a couple of weeks ago the cat took the opportunity to steal the meat off my lunch. Felt like a conspiracy!

Oh god mine too! First it's just a wee, then half way through dinner it's a poo too! Up and down, up and down!

I remember as a child my younger brother was always like this. My parents made him wait until the end of the meal once with unfortunate consequences!

My teens are not allowed phones at the table. 12 yo dd without fail, needs a poop during dinner every single night. She was sitting on her phone in the toilet....
Bucked her dinner in the bin one night- its a miracle, she can remain urge free most nights now 😂

My kids always need to poo whenever I want to have a bath. Every. Bastarding. Time. Not in any other toilet, except the one the bath is in.

Not found a Molton Brown scent yet the masks the stench of child 💩