To say something about religious nativity play?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

The DC go to a private day nursery. It doesn't have a religious affiliation. It was their Christmas play today. They did a loose version of the nativity and then at the end, there was a bit of recitation - "and that baby Jesus grew up to do amazing miracles. He died to save all the people in the world. Christians believe he came back from the dead and everyone who finds Jesus will be happy."

Dd who is under 4 is now asking "what does it mean, Jesus died?" And "should we go and look for Jesus?"

Aibu to mention to nursery management that this has resulted in some awkward conversations and maybe next year, they could choose something non-religious, bearing in mind lots of the families that use the nursery aren't believing Christians?

If anything I would ask the nursery to cover other religions during their festivals. Even though I do find it a bit hard to believe that they don’t do this already. Even my 18 month old did some painting for Diwali a couple of months ago at nursery.

@johnny - if you work in education yourself then surely you know how to have age appropriate conversations

Cherry

We. Weren't. Told. It. Was. A nativity.

Sorry but don't know how to be clearer!

My dc have attended the nursery for years. Previously they have done a secular play. This year they did a nativity. They didn't say in advance. It was just a surprise and I'm musing on it.

Good grief OP, I find it astonishing that you talk about the fact that children need to develop critical thinking skills and then display zero critical thinking skills yourself.

in what capacity Jonny ? . I'm curious

Christ....people are dying in the world...

Yes I agree with a post on the first page. I've been taught by Christians who seem to follow a less modern version that Jesus was not born in December and Christmas isn't a Christian holiday but a pagan holiday like Halloween etc.
So in that sense you have a point OP. We used to do nativity plays all the time but as a Muslim kid I knew all about it because I knew how my belief differs from others (I didn't know about the real history of Christmas as the above mentioned Christians told me and only knew what is celebrated today).
It's a good time to talk about the different beliefs and yours too. If you want help then Muslims believe that Jesus did not die (did not die and not for anyone's sins either) and instead the person who came to search for him to take him to get crucified, God (not Jesus, Muslims believe Jesus was a Prophet of God and God is an all-beinf entity who does not eat, drink, or sleep etc) changed the face of that man to resemble Jesus (in Arabic it is Easa) and so when he came out of the house the ones who wanted to crucify Jesus thought he was Jesus. He protested saying he wasn't and he was crucified instead. Jesus instead was raised to the heaven and will come back before the end of time and will marry and have children. People might wonder how Jesus was raised to heaven but Muslims believe that God can do anything. He created us, the greenery around us, the flies and the bees as well as the lions and all other people and animals, the world and the universe so raising Jesus to heaven is a small thing.

Similarly the beliefs of Sikhs, Buddhists, Hindus and other faiths on Jesus could be explored too. I am at that stage where my kids are also getting curious and I am off to learn about all views as I can't remember being taught about the other religions at school.

Barbara

I work with adults.

The OP does, and accepted that their children got involved in the CHRISTMAS play and attended it. The OP is querying the fact that the nativity has a religious element... funny that grin

I think she is querying whether the nativity complete with an earnest speech about the beliefs of christianity is suitable for a secular, non religious nursery performance when they usually do fairies/winter/santa etc.

I am really surprised at how "religious" everyone is in the UK (well on MN anyway). Although of course it isn't actual religion at all. The UK was historically a christian country. Now it seems it is a country in which things which are important celebrations and beliefs for actual christians are reduced to the equivalent of nursery rhymes and fairy stories.

So people celebrate a birthday where the person wasn't actually born on that day? And make a big fuss in doing so

I also have to say aibu is hilarious at times

Yes, 'problems' like this are comedy gold.

I don't really see an issue tbh. If you celebrate Christmas why not explain what it is? Surely there being a reason is better than 'you get toys from a fat man'?

My dd is the same age and doing a nativity at a private nursery who also do all holidays and festivals. We've already had the death talk as my dad died before she was born and she asked me a while ago where my daddy was... nothing awkward about it. I just explained to her (in an age appropriate way) what it is to die, soon after my grandmother died so she could basically understand.

For full disclosure she also watched the lion king and has decided that we go to the stars so that's where grandad is. I'm not going to wreck that for her. But no trauma or drama. She's also been telling me about Jesus and the ninja (misheard away in a manger 🤷🏼‍♀️)

I’m pretty sure most adults, me included, did nativities growing up... when it was kind of “allowed” and even maybe to be expected at Xmas! It’s just a part of the festive season isn’t it?

I get that it’s obviously not what you wanted but it’s done now and I think “having a word” with the nursery manager would make you look very foolish tbh.

Anyhow it's been interesting, but I need to go and collect the younger dc from nursery and do bedtime so will leave this now.

Thanks to everyone who bothered to respond, even those who think I have zero critical thinking skills and my children have awful childhoods

I intended to teach her about religions but when she was a bit older frankly.

Sadly, unless you plan to look after your own kids 24 hours a day, you're going to have to relax a bit about them 'finding out' things like this and learn to deal with them appropriately. 'Awkward' questions for you are vital questions for your DD - how else is she going to make sense of what she's seeing around her?

There's nothing wrong with a 4-year-old being taught that Christmas has a meaning, it isn't all about pantos and Christmas fairy plays, and that other people have beliefs different to our own. And that death is a natural part of life. Shielding kids from reality is always a bad move IMO.

Is it just me or are people actively looking for things to be offended by these days?

I have to say I would bring the idea of death much BEFORE some of things ur family dies
I have no issue about saying Jesus died. That’s what happened like for any other person.
The bit about coming back is tricky and I would just say/correct that some people believe that ... and leave it at that.

Re the nativity. It’s a religious celebration. There is no escaping from that. Stuff about elfes etc.. isn’t a nativity play.
If this is an issue for you, then I would advise yu to think long and hard and decide if you want to pull your dc out if any nativity play in the next 6 years. My experience is that, all throughout primary, there is a nativity/Christmas play. Some school do nativity all through the primary years. Others do the nativity play only with the younger ones. But you need to decide if you are comfortable with your dc taking part in what is basically a religious play.

This is still a Christian country isn't it?!
Fancy having a nativity scene at Christmas with a Christian theme... I really do wonder at some people

Yabu, it's Christmas, if they didn't do a nativity play 3/4 of the parents would complain! My kids went to a 50%+ Asian school and the hijabed grandmothers were pushing in the queue to get front row seats! As my Muslim friend put it, the only people concerned about Christmas in a multicultural society are middle class white busy bodies! Joseph had a turban this year, Mary was Spanish and with 44 nationalities represented at the school, I'm guessing the rest of the cast rivalled the UN!

This is still a Christian country isn't it?!

No

Worra be fair, about 95% of threads on aibu are shit about weddings, parking and so on.

I accept people do not agree with me but I don't see why it is prima facie unreasonable to consider how my DC are introduced to ideas about death and religion.

And yes pallisers has put their finger on it - of course DD will learn about this stuff. I just question whether the sort of evangelical approach is best for very young children many of whom come from nonreligious families.

oh dear god another one

The nursery we used did non Christian Christmas plays. I would ask about it too.

Is it just me or are people actively looking for things to be offended by these days?

not just you sadly.
Can you imagine being the child with that parent coming to complain to the school.

Btw, I'm guessing you don't have a special meal, stockings or gifts at Christmas? Because it's only Christmas because of the nativity. It's our cultural heritage. We haven't celebrated midwinter solstice or whatever for 1600 years!