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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bad teacher

126 replies

Mrsmumof3 · 12/12/2018 16:06

My son is in reception his teacher is awful ,always ignoring parents and on pick up time she will talk with other parents while im standing there waiting for her to call my child name. Whenever she want to speaks with me about somethinh concerning my son ,for example if another parent come she will leave me and starts talking to the other parent then come back to me . Like today school finish at 3.30 and i was there at 3.21 i was standing there with 4 other parents then she opened the doors call the other 4 kids and my kids wasnt called then lots of parents starts coming and i was standing in the front of her ,she just ignores me and call the other children names whos parents come after me and i was so mad i shout my son name to come out the class and my son didnt want to come because the teacher didnt call his name and all she did ignored me and she went back inside the classroom until i shout my son name again then the teaching assitant told my son to go then he comes. I dont really know what her problems because my son always on time ,never missed school since september and we always do our homework and readings .does this happen a lot or is this unusual?

OP posts:
EleanorShellstropper · 13/12/2018 19:40

I work, part time, at a very multicultural school, and my youngest is currently in reception there. Over half the class are non English native speakers and over 3/4 of their children had no English when starting. These children come from India, Pakistan, Italy, Russia and Romania. Two mums I know, have only spoken English to them, since they were born (other family speaks native language).

Can you imagine having 10 children, in a class of 30 4 year olds who don't know how to ask to go to the toilet, say they're hungry, or explain how they're feeling? The way the school handles is is amazing. One thing they do is use picture folders for the kids to point at, which are really helpful, and a term in all the children have a basic grasp of the important language. That being said, they're not a language school, and for those 10, there are 20 other children who already understand English, so have other needs. The poor reception teacher has to take ALL those children and get them to a certain level for starting year 1 (which is INTENSE!) whilst fostering each individual child's separate needs, likes and talents, to give them all an equal teaching experience.

I've found that my child's teacher actually spends a lot of extra time talking to the parents where English isn't their native language, as they need to be explained things multiple times (hair needs to be tied back; costume needed for play; He didn't have a coat today; packed lunch was unsuitable, dangly earrings aren't allowed).....all things that are very simple requests I've heard whilst waiting for my child to be let out, but seem to have to be said every day, because the parent smiles, nods and walks off not understanding [possible embarrassment?] , so the teacher has to repeat it daily, trying to make it understood). I can't imagine how stressful it is for them. Yelling at your son to come to you, when he's listening to the teacher is completely unacceptable. Just wait your turn.

missperegrinespeculiar · 13/12/2018 19:54

yes, I can imagine it is very hard for teachers, that's why there should be more support. In Sweden for example there are special intensive language courses for children who do not speak Swedish, this would help greatly.

I feel very strongly that bilingualism should be invested in by the government, the advantages are many and significant both at the individual and societal level, but I fear the current anti-immigration climate will prevent this, to everybody's detriment!

Deadbudgie · 13/12/2018 20:06

Even before you mentioned the poor English, I knew you were basically going to insinuate she’s being racist, yes that predictable!

Coconut0il · 13/12/2018 20:26

I think you're getting a hard time OP. If I was consistently missed like that I would ask the teacher the reason. If she can see your DS is not ready, not sitting nicely then fair enough but I would remind her you have to pick up other children so could she call him as soon as possible.

Mrsmumof3 · 13/12/2018 20:27

I agreed with you missperegrine ansd i thinks some school are good with non speaking english children and some are just worse because my 2 older children school they were amazing when my children moved to Uk in 2014 they had a great support and one to one with the teacher helping them . No one at that school did put pressure on us and my children speak very good english now . Deadbugie i didnt says she racist but she have a problem for us who dont speak english

OP posts:
Mrsmumof3 · 13/12/2018 20:29

Coconutoil i wanted to speak to her today after school but she pretends to be busy . She is those one when she sees you she wont make eye contact

OP posts:
FeatherStrong · 13/12/2018 20:47

I believe your gut feeling is correct.

I'm mixed race. I still have biases, we all do, no human is immune to bias. But I have fewer because of my background.
White english people on here will genuinely, through no fault of their own, just due to circumstances, have zero understanding of how it feels to know there's prejudice towards you as a person who doesnt speak english or is a different race. We can pick up on the vibe even if there's nothing explicitly said. Subtle cues and attitudes give it away, but aren't hard proof.

I believe your account, it sound very true to life. I've seen it happen often.

Part of teaching is how you engage with parents. So yes, she's doing that part of her job badly. Maybe she does other parts better, so overall isn't a bad teacher, but we've not heard those redeeming factors. So yes, she may very well be a bad teacher if she can't relate to her students mother. Why no one's recognised that how you deal with parents is a key part to teaching reception class is baffling. It's less important as kids get older and can fill in the gaps for you.

@OP talk to her, bring it to her awareness.
I hope it improves for you

BackforGood · 13/12/2018 21:02

i didnt says she racist but she have a problem for us who dont speak english

Can you explain to me, how, in your mind, that is different ?

i wanted to speak to her today after school but she pretends to be busy

Oh good grief. "Pretends to be busy". Because a Reception Teacher coming up to Christmas has all the time in the world to sit drinking tea and twiddling her thumbs said nobody ever who knows ANYTHING about working with 30 excited little people every day.

Coconut0il · 13/12/2018 21:58

Can you write a note in the reading diary asking to speak to her? Or in the morning ask for a word after school?
She may be very busy, she may be ignoring you, without being there I couldn't say but part of her job is to speak to parents so I really would try to arrange this.

Hohocabbage · 13/12/2018 22:24

How has your son only been here for 6 months and your other dc for several years?
It’s quite possible the teacher is prejudiced against you. But how are you going to deal with it? Stop trying to catch her at the end of the day and make an appointment, for a start.

BarbarianMum · 13/12/2018 22:24

BackforGood can you explain why you think it's so likely that the OP is wrong? Is it that you think prejudice doesn't exist, or isnt found in schools, or that the OP is too stupid to distinguish bw a busy teacher and someone systematically ignoring her or what?

BackforGood · 13/12/2018 23:18

About which part Barbarian ?

Do you really need me to explain why a teacher of a Reception class would need to "pretend to be busy" ?

I've asked OP to explain how she says that someone treating her differently because of her race, isn't racist. She has said more than once she isn't accusing the teacher of being racist but is accusing her of treating her differently as neither OP nor her ds's first language is English. I'm hearing that as an accusation of being racist. If that were happening, then the OP needs to go to senior management with that accusation. But she keeps saying she isn't accusing her of that.

Mrsmumof3 · 14/12/2018 12:49

Thank you all im just excited after a long wait on the waiting list and my son has been offered a place at his siblings school which im very happy and i know there she will get all the support he needs and i dont need to see that bad teacher anymore its good now she can stay with students who only speak english

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 14/12/2018 13:27

Nothing you have said suggests she’s a bad teacher. Confused

Mrsmumof3 · 14/12/2018 13:45

Thats your opinion

OP posts:
ShartGoblin · 14/12/2018 13:50

Thank you all im just excited after a long wait on the waiting list and my son has been offered a place at his siblings school

That's great news, I'm really pleased for you. It's the best result here and I hope you can put all of this behind you. I'm sorry you've had to put up with all of this, you don't deserve to be singled out like this for any reason. I wish you all the best Flowers

Mrsmumof3 · 14/12/2018 13:56

Thank you so much shartglobin

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 14/12/2018 14:13

No. It’s fact. You have said nothing about her teaching ability at all.

Mrsmumof3 · 14/12/2018 14:39

I have nothing against her teaching ability because if she wasnt doing her teacher job well then she shouldnt be there but my problem was her attitude towards me because of my son lack of english anyway my son is going to a new school and i dont see why i should keep talking about her i bet she will be happy that my son left

OP posts:
loubluee · 14/12/2018 14:59

I used to work with a teacher like this once, who some thought was ‘racist’ for similar reasons. Until one day she admitted that 3 families she could not understand them
when they spoke, not just because of their English but because of their accent. She said she felt like a nodding dog, and often wondered what she was agreeing or saying yes too. She wasn’t a mean person at all, far from it, but she was a shy, quiet teacher (Miss Honey, Matilda!). Do you think something like this may possibly be the issue, rather than racism?

(Note:- Not every teacher is confident in front of parents)

Mrsmumof3 · 14/12/2018 15:36

Hi loubluee thats not a good reasons if she couldnt understand them or handle it very well ,she should have let other people do it because that behaviours is not acceptable at all . What will she gained by treating non speaking parents like crap

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 14/12/2018 16:45

I really can’t see where she has treated you like crap. And you keep calling her a bad teacher. That means you think she’s bad at her job.

Mrsmumof3 · 14/12/2018 16:49

Wolfiefan not you wont see anything wrong because she is british like you i guess maybe you also have issuez with non british but if it was the other way around then you will at see it anyway not need to talk about it anymore and im just excited that my son is moving school and will get all the help he needs thats what matter to me

OP posts:
BackforGood · 14/12/2018 17:30

I have to agree with Wolfie. You have posted nothing, that indicates your dc hasn't been getting 'all the help he needs'. Confused

Wolfiefan · 14/12/2018 17:37

Why would I have “issues” with anyone I’ve never even met? I don’t judge people for where they were born or what language they speak. But absolutely nothing you have posted has suggested this person is bad at their job. Yet you keep calling them a bad teacher. The only odd thing was her insistence that your child should speak English at home. That likely stems from his inability to access the curriculum.
If you walk around looking for insults and expecting people to be against you then you will always perceive issues. Even if they don’t actually exist.
Maybe an attitude change before he starts the new school may be in order.

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