Bad teacher

[Mrsmumof3]

My son is in reception his teacher is awful ,always ignoring parents and on pick up time she will talk with other parents while im standing there waiting for her to call my child name. Whenever she want to speaks with me about somethinh concerning my son ,for example if another parent come she will leave me and starts talking to the other parent then come back to me . Like today school finish at 3.30 and i was there at 3.21 i was standing there with 4 other parents then she opened the doors call the other 4 kids and my kids wasnt called then lots of parents starts coming and i was standing in the front of her ,she just ignores me and call the other children names whos parents come after me and i was so mad i shout my son name to come out the class and my son didnt want to come because the teacher didnt call his name and all she did ignored me and she went back inside the classroom until i shout my son name again then the teaching assitant told my son to go then he comes. I dont really know what her problems because my son always on time ,never missed school since september and we always do our homework and readings .does this happen a lot or is this unusual?

Is the English of your older children considered good? In that case I wouldn’t worry as bilingual children I believe can take longer to become fluent (but once they are they have the advantage of two languages). If the older dcs are not fluent that’s more of an issue.
Having siblings isn’t really a substitute for having friends in your class who are the same age as you.

It sounds like she’s doing her best to help your child to integrate with the other children in his (English speaking) school. Giving you information about his friends so you know who would be good to have play dates is trying to help! We do this quite frequently. It’s not a dictat, it’s just a friendly help.

If his English isn’t strong he will naturally be at a disadvantage. I’m sorry to say that but it’s true. Accessing the curriculum (which is demanding) is vastly helped by having a reasonable grasp of the language.

Nothing in your drip feed indicates she is a bad teacher. You have already said your son doesn’t speak much English earlier in the thread and then you say he is fine speaking to siblings and cousins. It can’t be both. To suggest making friends outside that very narrow circle sounds sensible and caring of the teacher but you seem determined to be slighted by everything she does as a personal attack on you, so not sure what else you want posters to say?

You told her on the first day at school! And 30 other parents each told her several things about their children.
Your child is in an English school and will be taught through the medium of English. She’s only concerned about him accessing the curriculum.

Op each family has their own curcumstances and you can’t expect the teacher remember each parent’s hometime timetable. So, go gently remind her.

Could he be getting his bag, coat on etc so she calls the children who are ready to leave? My DD faffs about, chatting, going to the loo etc and is often one of the last out, even though I'm never late to collect her.

So it seems you are more bothered about her supposed issue with your sons lack of English.
He is in an English speaking school. She is trying to encourage he learns better English .. to make it easier for him to stay in line with his peers.
Sounds like a good teacher to me.

Yes my 2 eldest children speaks very good english because they been here for 4 years and learn english very quick and my youngest son just moved to UK this year june . He was back home with my parents were looking after while me and my husband works and now that his at schoom full time , he just learning his english . At home we speak our home languages but i encourage my 2 older children to speaks to him in english so he can understand . Anyway i will speak to the teacher tommorow and remind her again that i have other children to pick. Thank you for everyone who was nice and also thanks to those wo werent nice i appreciate every comment

If you can’t pick up him and then your other children then you need to make some different arrangement. It really isn’t up to the teacher.

You should speak to him in English at home.
It makes it very difficult for the teacher teach him the curriculum when he can’t speak English.

so you were there with 4 other parents, all their children were called but yours wasn't even though you could see him sitting on the carpet ready to go, an then she called the children of parents who arrived after you? and skipped you again?

if this is correct, I would agree with you that it is odd, why would she not call all five children of the parents who are actually there? why skip one? can everybody who is so sure the OP is paranoid explain why this would be? OP is not asking her to remember the order, she is just wondering why is she being ignored when other parents standing next to her are not?

and I don't know why everybody is so shocked at the suggestion that the teacher may be prejudiced, or even racist, teachers are normal human beings, some human beings are racist, aren't they? I am not saying she necessarily is, but it's not a crazy suggestion, is it?

Plus, the suggestion not to speak his language at home is complete rubbish and outdated advice from a time when bilingualism was frowned upon and considered to slow and damage linguistic development, we now know that bilingualism improves cognitive performance in more areas than just language proficiency, so if that is what she really said I would be concerned about her knowledge and capacity to support the learning of a bilingual child. But maybe she just meant to suggest other options for him to practice his English, not that he should not talk his own language? I really hope so! Maybe clarify this at parent/teacher meeting?

OP, I would suggest monitoring the situation, it may have been just an oversight, if it is, then it won't happen again, if it keeps happening, I would make a point of saying to the teacher politely "I am here, I have been waiting a while, could you please call my child?" see what she says!

Mrs peregrine - maybe in that 2 seconds the teacher looked outside to see the parents faces she saw and noted Fred, George, Niamh, Catherine and isaacs mum. Then she turned back in to the classroom. Started calling out 'Fred, George, Niamh, Catherine....(what on earth is susie doing over there to Nigel?)....your mums here'
So, so easy to do.

You should speak to him in English at home.

no, you really shouldn't! this is terrible advice!

Bilingualism is very beneficial to children on many levels, it improves cognitive performance, allows for a deeper connection to his home country culture, it is an advantage when looking for jobs, and so on!

People in monolingual families often spend a fortune trying to get their kids to learn a second language! and thank god for that, it is an embarrassment how little English speaking people learn other languages, in Europe it is much more normal to speak two or three languages!

He lives here, English will become dominant in no time, and it will actually be a struggle to keep the mother tongue going, don't stop speaking to him in his mother tongue at home!

arethereanyleftatall yes, I can imagine that, but we don't know it was two seconds, do we? it's hard to judge without being there and having seen it, so much forms our impressions, for example, did the teacher make eye contact? was she frazzled? was it very busy? or was it a relatively calm moment, it was perfectly obvious who was next and she just ignored OP?

I just don't see how you can all be so sure the OP is paranoid, as I said, it would seem to me to be best to keep an open mind for now and monitor the teacher's behaviour, it is not beyond the pale of possibilities that she has taken a dislike to OP, and even that she is indeed racist!

I dont know what i did wrong really

What about the bit where you put your poor son under pressure to come out to you when he hadn't been called. Making him choose - 'Do I break the school rule / go against what the teacher has told us to do to follow what Mum says, or do I ignore my Mum and make her cross ?

A ticket machine like they have on the deli counter might be the answer, I would put it to the Governors. Of course it would mean that the child organised and ready will have to wait for the one pratting about because his mummy has No 1 so he has to go first!

I do find mothers at the school gate odd, I personally never had to do it with my own but I occasionally collect my grandchildren, Year 6 granddaughter came to Year 2's door to wait with me, he was messing in the classroom, we could see him and I said to her 'Grab the next one who comes out!', got some very odd looks! Sense of humour failure there.

@tillytrotter1

It sounds like you are (inadvertently?) making handover time difficult for the teacher.

1.If you are outside the classroom 10 minutes beforehand, you will be distracting the children from following the teacher's instructions. Your child may get ready more quickly if you are not there so soon.
2.You could be getting in the way of the children departing if you are waiting close to the classroom door hoping to be "first in the queue".

1. Calling your child is potentially DANGEROUS and he is right not to go until the teacher releases him. The teacher will not know he has gone with the right person if you encourage him to come out past her whilst she is looking at adult-face height, not child-level. The possible consequences of this going wrong are horrendous.

4.The teacher may well have a routine for who she calls first that is not obvious to you, e.g. releasing children with siblings in school first so parents can get to the other teacher's classroom promptly, or those whose parents can be relied on to move out of the way quickly so she can keep the flow of children moving, those who catch the bus or have a long walk etc.

None of this makes her a bad teacher, a bully or racist.

If you need your son to released first for a genuine reason, then you need to ask for that, but not whilst the teacher is trying to send the children home.

As for language, as a general rule you should speak to him in English in school and your home language at home.

I didnt says she is a racist but it looks like she have problem for us who speaks different language other than english and my son is only 4 years old and he will speak english no matter what and soon his english will be over our home language thats why it never worry me.

I’m not sure what the order she lets the kids out of school in has to do with what language you speak. Her concern is whether he can access the curriculum. That’s all.

Well she should be patient because my son just been to school for 3 months and why she always make it like its a big deal as if my son will never speak english . Everytime he cant do this he cant do that, he doesnt understand anything ,hes the only ones who is behind his peers . She has no right to tell my other son to only speak english with his brother at home

Obviously she has picked up on the attitude you have about his lack of English and possibly feels you aren’t supporting her in encouraging his learning if it? Whether you are or not.
That would explain the hostility.

Yes to her is seem like im not supporting him but i do homework with him and we read every night for 15 mins and we also do phonics . My son just been to this country for 6 months this is what he already know
What is your name : he will answer my name is
How old are you : he will say im 4
He knows how to asks to go to toilet
He knows how to asks if he want something
He knows all the fruit and animals names in english
He can count 1 to 10 in english
He can say some alphabet in english
We doing our best so far but she still not sastified

She does sound hostile and this may well be rooted in racism or at least prejudice (lots of people in the UK have negative perceptions about non white people and/or foreigners unfortunately and teachers are not immune from this).

Separately, your son's English does sound very limited for a young child 6 months in. It will really, really help him to learn English if he spends as much time as possible mixing with English speakers so if you can arrange activities and play dates with children outside of your family (where the temptation to use the family language is high) it will really bring him on. Does he watch much television? An hour or so of cbeebies per day will probably help him too.

Ok thank you i will take him to soft play and playgroup on weekends so he can be with other kids apart from family and yes he watch tv alot and he also like watching those kids vlogs on youtube . All apps on his tablet are for education and learning