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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want my 11 week old to have chicken pox?

62 replies

LLOE7 · 12/12/2018 12:03

Hello,
My dnephew has chicken pox. BIL and SIL live a few hours away from us and the rest of the in laws and have come up this week and are staying with mil for a visit before Christmas as dn obviously can't go to school. AIBU to say I do not want to visit with them this time as I do not want my 11 week old baby coming down with chicken pox, especially this close to Christmas? Mil keeps saying how it's best for them to get it young and it's not fair for me to keep baby away as they've only seen her once and dn will be so upset to not see her 🙄 (he's 6 and says baby's are boring).
My dh is on my side.

OP posts:
BertramKibbler · 12/12/2018 12:05

Completely not unreasonable. I wouldn’t think you unreasonable if you had a toddler but you’ve got a new born baby. It would be so cruel (never mind potentially dangerous) to subject them to chicken pox

Birdsgottafly · 12/12/2018 12:06

It could kill your Baby. That isn't an overreaction, CP is extremely dangerous in under one year olds.

It is better if they get it young, 4+, is the ideal age. Not any younger.

Stand your ground on this, or you could be spending Christmas in hospital.

Nanny0gg · 12/12/2018 12:06

Don't go!

They won't be the ones looking after a potentially very sick baby (at Christmas!)

Can you arrange another visit? (Hope your in-laws have had CP!)

NoSayWhatNow · 12/12/2018 12:06

Do not go. Your MIL is being spectacularly stupid. CP can kill young babies.

Wetwashing00 · 12/12/2018 12:07

Thank her for her opinion but the health visitor has advised you to stay away if you can help it.

Chicken pox around Xmas does not sound fun.

My DS had them at 10 weeks in the scorching summer.

Gatehouse77 · 12/12/2018 12:08

No, I'm with you if it's avoidable.

My youngest caught chicken pox off my older 2 when she was 3 weeks old (and, no, my immunity and breastfeeding didn't protect her!). That was unavoidable.

NoSayWhatNow · 12/12/2018 12:08

It is better if they get it young, 4+, is the ideal age.

Just get him vaccinated.

Darkbendis · 12/12/2018 12:08

Absolutely YANBU! I wouldn't intentionally do anything that might cause my child to get ill, especially if he's only 11 weeks old. And for saying that you are unfair for keeping the baby away from her in such circumstances... really? As they say here on MN, is MIL on glue?

SinkGirl · 12/12/2018 12:11

I hate the whole “it’s better if they get it young”.

Yes, it’s better to have it in childhood than adulthood. It is NOT better to get it as a bloody newborn.

You could have her vaccinated, but vaccinations aren’t always successful and I think you need two spaced doses for it to be most effective. I absolutely wouldn’t have let a child with CP near my twins when they were babies, and I still wouldn’t knowingly do it now they’re 2 as one has health issues. I am getting them vaccinated shortly.

LittleSwede · 12/12/2018 12:12

DD was 3 years old when she had CP and was really quite ill with, had a late night trip to Out of Hours because she was so poorly. Don't want to think about what it could do to a 11 week old. Have friends whose DC were really unwell too. Most children get it midly, luckily, but I wouldn't want to risk it with a baby.

HildaZelda · 12/12/2018 12:14

Absolutely YANBU. MIL needs to keep her beak out.
Glad to hear DH is backing you on this

TuckMyWin · 12/12/2018 12:14

No, no, no. I know of one baby amongst my friends and acquaintances who died from complications of chickenpox, and a friend's toddler ended up in intensive care with it. IMO nobody should intentionally cause a child to get chickenpox at any age! My two have been vaccinated.

MatildaTheCat · 12/12/2018 12:14

Only an absolute imbecile would knowingly place their young baby in a situation whereby they are at risk of serious illness. Yes, CP can be very serious especially in very young infants.

HyggeHeart · 12/12/2018 12:15

I would call your health visitor, they will no doubt say don't expose your baby to cp its dangerous. Then you have medical backing and they can't question your decision x

blackcat86 · 12/12/2018 12:16

Absolutely not, that could kill your baby. You can get kids vaccinated but only after 1. It's not worth it. Take the flack form the idiot in laws and tell them that your baby is a little human not a toy that they are entitled to

SinkGirl · 12/12/2018 12:18

Oh of course, she’s too young for the vaccination - I forgot that. Absolutely don’t do it.

Sexnotgender · 12/12/2018 12:20

YANBU,tell MIL to keep her opinions to herself.

Nanasueathome · 12/12/2018 12:22

I have 3 children
The youngest was 3 months old when he caught chicken pox from the older 2 (all 3 had it more or less at the same time)
Baby was not very poorly
However, he caught shingles at 17years old and was unwell for weeks
Please take care with your little one

CloudPop · 12/12/2018 12:23

You aren't guaranteed immunity if you get it under a year old anyway so avoid at all costs

bobstersmum · 12/12/2018 12:25

I can't abide the logic that it's better to get it out the way, it's irresponsible and stupid to knowingly expose such a young baby to illness. Even a bloody cold is miserable for a young baby. Get them told op.

Satsumaeater · 12/12/2018 12:26

Have you had it yourself? If so, I'd have thought your baby would have immunity from you as they are so young.

A bit of hysteria on here, most babies have siblings, and they may well be old enough to be in nursery and school bringing all sorts of illness home.

However, if you can avoid contact until the danger of contagion has passed, it's obviously the most sensible thing to do.

Knittedfairies · 12/12/2018 12:26

I would rather annoy my MIL and disappoint family members ran risk having an 11 week old baby catch chicken pox.

Schmoobarb · 12/12/2018 12:27

YANBU of course, but would your nephew still be infectious at that time?

Soubriquet · 12/12/2018 12:29

I agree. Don’t go!!

Chicken pox can make them miserable and an 11 week old doesn’t need that.

It was bad when my 2 year old got it. He was absolutely miserable. Plus he had to go to the doctors as some got infected and needed antibiotics.

They were all in his mouth too which made it hard for him to eat and drink

Youngandfree · 12/12/2018 12:29

Yanbu don’t go...they are clearly nuts!!!

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