Rude teacher

[camelephantpink]

This morning I dropped my daughter off at school. She goes to breakfast club and so is there early. I was also there with my young son. My daughter is 7 and very eager to please. Her teacher came out of the door as we were coming in and she flounced past without making any eye contact with my daughter and without saying 'hello' or 'good morning'. She saw us but actually made an effort not to acknowledge us. I asked my daughter why she hadn't said hello and she said 'mum that is what she is like'. I mentioned it to my husband and he says that she regularly does it to him when he drops her off. We can both forgive her for ignoring us (although it takes no time to smile really) but on reflection, I think its really mean to ignore your 7 year old pupil. Am I over reacting?

I suppose technically she's not working at breakfast club drop off time but it's sad if a teacher can't smile.for the children.

No I accept she' s not working at that stage and she owes us nothing. But its a general courtesy to acknowledge your pupils isn't it? I would like to think that the school teaches good manners as well as other things. I can see that my daughter is hurt by it. Its upset me but I wasn't sure if I was being silly to let it.

At this point in the school year teachers are pretty exhausted from dealing with overexcited children/Christmas plays and concerts as well as still trying to cover the work they need to. Don't underestimate the exhaustion of dealing with a class of seven year olds excited about Christmas. If she was there so early in the morning she was probably desperately trying to get some preparation finished before the start of the school day. I think you are overreacting and should cut her some slack.

Very strange.

Yeah, it's rude.

I couldn't imagine any teachers doing this at my daughters primary school. It does seem rude. Maybe she's just in her own world

Seriously?

Did you say hello to her?

She's probably clinging to the last vestiges of her sanity at this point in term.

At this time I'm often walking round school, with my mind totally elsewhere on prep, photocopying, checking pigeonholes, before school meetings etc etc etc.

Some days I think John Lennon could walk together way and I'd not notice because I'm thinking about other stuff.

Maybe she's just....tired and busy? I know it's not ideal but a little empathy towards junior teachers this time of year goes a long way.

It's rude. Sounds like your DD has realised that is what she is like and not taking it personally which is good.

A simple good morning wouldn't have hurt her

She's not in her own world. A few of the mums have mentioned some negative things about her but until now I have stayed out of it. She was odd when we went to see her at parent's evening. She would not commit to anything and refused to say anything really about our daughter. I accept that teachers are tired but so are the rest of us. I didn't expect her to do a cartwheel - just a smile would have been fine. I often feel fed up but I wouldn't do that to a young child. I think its really unpleasant.

Did you say hello? Often my mind is on all the prep I still need to do so I just smile and the child and keep walking unless they say hello in which case of course I respond. No scowling though

Maybe the teacher is me not a morning person and just wants to get on with the bazillion jobs that have to be done every day.

I would be nicer if teachers could all be sweetness and light, you’re right, but some of us are just human and grumpy in the morning.

I do this to people all the time. In fact, this could easily be about me. If I am thinking about something else, I am in my own world and honestly don't notice what's going on around me. People who know me shout loudly to get my attention, but I've probably inadvertently ignored loads of people.

If shes teaching your child well, and your child goes to school happy, and she is kind during the school day, then I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Just assume she was busy and distracted, rather than rude.

You're overreacting. DS's teacher rarely made eye contact or greeted any of the pupils as they arrived to school every morning - it was hard to get used to and I didn't like it but she came alive inside the classroom and did wonders with the whole group. Just listen to yourself having a strop about one incident of 'rudeness' which could have been completely unintentional. Go and worry about something important.

Teachers are human, some are smiley, some are not. The pressure in schools is horrendous and it can be tough being smiley when you are trying to hold it together.

I doubt she has time to engage first thing in the morning. They have stuff to organise and meetings etc and if she's spoke to every child in breakfast club she'd never get anything done.

Closer - I went to open my mouth to say good morning to her but she actually made an effort to look away so I felt a bit of a tit with my mouth open about to greet her. My daughter has not taken it personally thankfully. As for having empathy, only yesterday I gave a very generous contribution to her Xmas present as we do a collection. I am always careful to acknowledge the stresses involved in teaching young children whenever I speak to my children's teachers. I think I have more empathy than most actually. I just cant bear arrogant people, which is how she comes across.

No, it's odd but not everybody is friendly I suppose. You don't know what's going on in her life right now, although it would have to be quite major to blank children like that!

I'd make a point of loudly saying good morning

but yes its rude.

33goingon64. Keep your hair on. I have plenty to worry about. My daughter's happiness is one of them. It makes me wonder if there is an issue between her and her teacher. No need to attack like that.

If you have a specific problem with the teacher that you think warrants a conversation with the school, then by all means call them.

Otherwise accept that people are just people and so long as she's educating your child to the best of her ability that's really all you need from her.

You say "flounce past".

I say "Try to avoid precipitating a conversation that could easily eat 5 minutes of your precious pre-work preparation time and mean that you don't get to finish all the photocopying you need for the day".

You say "Would not commit to anything".

I say "Keeping expectations and options as flexible as possible to minimise disappointment or drama over a student who's middle of the pack".

It really all depends on your perspective. Forgive me if I completely disregard playground gossip as a useful measure of a teacher's ability.

If you have a problem, bring it up. If you don't, then don't.

It sounds like she's wary of getting too close to be honest. I don't think she wants to commit to anything at parents evening because she's had what she's said before come back and bite her. She probably doesn't want to risk stopping and getting into a conversation on a morning when she's busy because she doesn't want to say something she can't either deliver or be certain of. I'm sure you're fine OP but some parents are absolutely awful to teachers and it puts them off letting their guard down and being human. Maybe she's just had a bad experience before and she wants to keep her distance.

Let the others say whatever they want, don't get involved and don't judge because you don't know her situation. People can come across as arrogant for so many reasons which are the opposite of actually being arrogant.

I used to be cabin crew and the general public think they own you if they see you in public in uniform. I used to put my headphones in and ignore you.

I work with students at the moment. Once I put my coat on, I’m done. I’ll smile at a push but that’s it. Most of the time I’m in my own world. I use up my emotional labour capacity at work thanks.