To ask you to tell me the pros and cons of finding out baby's sex?

[CrystalBlaze]

Just that really. 20 weeks and incredibly torn between wanting to know and not wanting to spoil the surprise.

Thoughts anyone?

I didn't find out because I wanted the movie experience surprise of "it's a ..!". DD was born as an emergency forceps so I didn't quite get that moment, and when they eventually told me I yelled "we can go to Clare's accessories!" ..what. I was high on life and gas and air. I'd find out for the next one, I didn't get my moment.

First two times I found out. Really helped me bond first time, which I struggled to do. Second time I knew DH was hoping for a son, so we found out to give him time to get used to the idea if we had another girl. Third time neither of us had any preference or difficulty bonding so we had a surprise. It was brilliant all three times! I did like the certainly of finding out at birth, I was really worried they'd got it wrong with my first DD (with DS they showed us his genitals on the scan and there was zero doubt.

Did find out as I didn’t like the idea of others knowing when I didn’t! Helped me bond with baby. There’s enough ‘surprises ‘ during birth if you ask me, enough Unknown’s. No one bought us guns for a boy or frilly fools for the girl by the way!

I didn't find out but I was so convinced from quite early on that i was having a boy, that there was no surprise when I was right.

A friend did the same though, and was sure she was having a girl, as the sonographer had once accidentally referred to the baby as 'she', then had a boy. She said it took her a little while to get her head round it, as she had bonded with a girl.

@EdtheBear my daughter's been completely damaged by those blue vests and babygros, and stuff with cars, dinosaurs and super heroes on she has been wearing since being a newborn.

They don't care.

And a friend pointed out to me before hand if you have a girl dressed in pink you will still get people asking you if it is a girl or boy.

Didn't happen in my day, was a surprise. A nice one too.

I hate the presumption that the ‘not find outers’ Have that the only reason others find out is because they want to buy gendered clothes

We found out. Rather than coming to terms with the news, finding out early allowed us to celebrate we were getting a girl - I don’t mean reveal parties or Facebook or anything public but just being able to enjoy finding out that one fact about her. Plus we only risked WW3 over one name rather than two! We laid down the law with family about not getting us pink stuff too.

I found out the sex when I was pregnant with my son, and even though I have always wanted a boy, I was convinced I was having a girl and because the reality didn't match my instinct, I found it really hard to bond. I suffered massive 'gender disappointment' and felt like I didn't want him at all.

If we were to have another child, I will not be finding out. I don't want to feel that way again.

I found out (at 12 weeks) mainly because it is totally the norm where I live, so much so that I've never met a single person who didn't know the sex of their child ahead of the birth.

Also, we both had a preference and it was good to deal with any feelings around that before the birth.

Nevertheless, we didn't name her till after she was born.

And she wasn't deluged with pink clothes.

Our plan had been to find out and not tell anyone.

What actually happened was:
The sonographer picked up a cleft lip at the scan. We felt we needed to tell family/friends about the cleft so we could direct them to the CLAPA website and not have them relying on dr google when baby came. So then it was nice to be able to tell the sex of the baby as a more neutral piece of news and a way of moving the conversation on.

Baby is fine now btw.