Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Something really strange just happened

519 replies

InSwamTiddler · 10/12/2018 06:08

I’ve NC for this as I’m not sure what to make of it and I’m really confused.
Back story - I was raised Catholic, but I’m atheist now. I work in a science based field and for as long as I can remember I have believed in the factual, empirically provable reality of things. I don’t believe in God or the afterlife, or ghosts / paranormal stuff.

Nearly 9 years ago my dad died. He died very suddenly and unexpectedly at a young age in my childhood family home.

Due to some circumstantial things, I’m currently living back in my family home.
My mum has mentioned a few times over the years that she’s felt my dad’s presence here and I’ve always been openly kind to her about it, but thinking “nope. Your imagination is going crazy because you’re grieving”. She’s mentioned she’s felt pressure on the bed as if someone has sat down on it next to her for example.

Anyway, this morning DP has left for work and I was still in bed. I was listening to him brushing his teeth, then popping the kettle on so I was definitely awake, but a little drowsy.

I felt him get back into bed with me and thought “what’s he doing?”... it’s not unusual for him to pop back into the bedroom and give me a hug or kiss before leaving the house.

I felt the heaviness of him pressed against my back and his arms wrapped around me. There was a heat between my shoulder blades I have never felt before but I wasn’t scared but I knew it wasn’t DP then. I heard the front door open so DP was leaving the house. Then my whole back went tingly a bit like pins and needles but not in an unpleasant way.

When it was happened I felt calm and warm but I’m freaking out now and can’t stop crying. Sounds silly but I feel like it may have been my dad.

I was 100% awake, not dreaming. I leant over and flicked the lamp on straight after.

Does anyone believe in this stuff? I never have but now I’m questioning everything.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 10/12/2018 08:47

My first husband was killed in an accident when I was 25. Since then he’s been “ in contact” several times. It’s always s been lovely.
I am quite anxious and don’t want to believe in ghosts or spirits, and it doesn’t fit in with wider beliefs( or non beliefs) that I have.
But still it happens.

GotThatWhatWhat · 10/12/2018 08:48

The exact same thing happened to me - in-between consciousness and sleep.

I was desperately sad and needed comfort and physically felt like I was being enveloped in deep and powerful hug - I was the little spoon!

Clearly no such thing happened - I was in emotional distress - it's just that the mind is a very very powerful thing, it gave me what I needed.

dingit · 10/12/2018 08:48

Another cynical bitch here,
My df died unexpectedly last summer. Two days after his funeral we went on holiday, me still feeling numb. Lying by the pool reading my book on the first day, I was tapped on the back, but there was no one behind my sunbed. It's just the sort of thing he would have done to get your attention, I think it was him saying he liked where we were staying.
I felt freaked out and comforted at the same time.

Birdyfrom · 10/12/2018 08:49

We can all be very certain about our lives, that we know everything and therefore everything stays the same but this rigid way of thinking holds you back. What I 'knew for sure' in my 20's has not stood the test of the last 20 years and now I see things differently, this is not a bad thing at all, that your thoughts and feelings evolve based on experience is actually wisdom. I have had experiences like this that I really cannot quantify, but you do not have to base things in any particular religious context. You experienced this event, it brought you warmth and comfort, accept it for what it was and accept that it has broadened your mind too. Feel the peace of it

RangeRider · 10/12/2018 08:51

Check your loft....

Jayfee · 10/12/2018 08:51

There are more things in heaven and on earth than we can ever know or understand... there is a saying something like that. Just try and accept that whatever it was, it is a manifestation of your dad's love for you.

BertrandRussell · 10/12/2018 08:56

The problem here is people can’t have it both ways. We can’t say, as we do, that horrible, scary experiences are dreams or sleep paralysis (which they are) and nice experiences are real (which they aren’tj.

ReanimatedSGB · 10/12/2018 09:01

Take the comfort from it, don't worry about it. It was almost certainly a product of your own mind, but that doesn't mean you are ill/going mad. I'm an atheist, too, but I remember one particular night, a couple of years after my dad went, and something nice/impressive was happening to me; as I walked up the stairs to bed that night I 'heard' my dad's voice very clearly saying 'Fantastic, [myrealname]'.

olivertwistwantsmore · 10/12/2018 09:02

But why would your DAD get into bed with you and hug you like that?? Confused

MattMagnolia · 10/12/2018 09:03

When my df was badly injured I prayed hard and felt suddenly safe and warm and sure that df was going to be ok. I slept soundly.
In the morning we heard he had died.

Alienspaceship · 10/12/2018 09:05

No one can give you an answer. It doesn’t really matter how anyone else views it. You need to decide for yourself - and you don’t need to tell anyone else or get anyone else’s approval for your explanation or belief about your experience.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/12/2018 09:08

Who knows? The scoffers will always scoff, but I do know one or two diehard scoffers who changed their minds after 'something' happened.

After my lovely MiL died too young, for several days I had a very strong sense of her presence in our house, where incidentally she'd always been happy. I could almost 'see' her sitting on the sofa.

Of course I put it down entirely to my imagination, and when my father died only 6 months later, I fully expected to imagine a sense of the same, either at home or at my folks' house.
But there was nothing. Zilch.

As for bed experiences, someone I know of had managed to buy a house that seemed a bargain for what it was, owners in a hurry to sell. Not long after moving in, she would become aware of 'someone' sitting on the bed in the very early mornings, after her dh had gone off to his early shift.
Although not exactly scary or at all threatening, the sensations grew stronger - she 'knew' it was a man, and he was gradually moving closer to her. At this point they began to understand why the house had been a bargain!

Eventually they got a medium in. She just said, 'His name's Albert and he's an old soldier.' She asked him to leave, and he left. End of any early morning 'happenings'.

morningconstitutional2017 · 10/12/2018 09:13

I feel that there are many things which we can't explain and maybe we don't need to know all the answers. As it was a benign presence I'd try not to worry about it overmuch. A malicious poltergeist would be another matter.

BertrandRussell · 10/12/2018 09:16

There is a significant difference between “scoffing” and “explaining”.

81Byerley · 10/12/2018 09:22

You have a scientific background, so you know there are many more things we do not know, than we do. I believe this was your Dad. After my Dad died, I was sitting watching TV and felt the cat walk along the back of the sofa. Her movement moved my hair to one side. I looked towards her to say something to her, and she wasn't there....she was sound asleep on the armchair across the room.

mimibunz · 10/12/2018 09:25

Science is great but there is so much that it can’t explain or calculate. It’s probably best to be open to the possibilities of ‘other.’

Gardai · 10/12/2018 09:25

@olivertwistwantsmore thank feck I’m not the only one who was thinking that Shock

StorminaBcup · 10/12/2018 09:34

You'll get a million different responses on here. Was it real to you? That's all that matters.

FWIW - my DF passed 13 years ago. One night I had a dream that he phoned me to tell me he was ok. I know it wasn't real but a little corner of my head wants to believe it. It comforted me and I've never worried if he's ok since. No harm done to anyone else.

BertrandRussell · 10/12/2018 09:34

“Science is great but there is so much that it can’t explain or calculate. It’s probably best to be open to the possibilities of ‘other.’”

No- there is so much that it hasn’t explained or calculated yet.

Nanalisa60 · 10/12/2018 09:37

There are many things in this world that just can’t be explain!! You no it happened, so it did, nothing is impossible!!

81Byerley · 10/12/2018 09:39

I have friends, a couple. She is a devout Christian, and he the opposite. One day, he was working outside and a bungee strap came off his car and hit him in the eye. He rushed inside and was holding a tea towel over it, and in immense pain, and he heard a man's voice saying "Don't worry, it will all be fine". Being the atheist/non believer in that stuff, he didn't say anything, but the next day, in hospital, he was talking to his wife, and thanked her for being so calm the previous day, as it had helped him. She said 'I was panicking, but then I heard a man's voice saying "Don't worry, it will all be fine" '.

championquartz · 10/12/2018 09:43

Hypnopompic hallucination. Not that uncommon.

Thehop · 10/12/2018 09:44

I’m a believer in the afterlife so I’m here to say I gunk this is lovely. I’d love a visit from my dad just now

Branleuse · 10/12/2018 09:47

It sounds like sleep paralysis. I had it once where I could have sworn on my life a ghost walked through me. It was intense. I had to look up whether the place was haunted. It was so bizarre.

MaMisled · 10/12/2018 09:50

Lots will pooh pooh this but the night of my fathers funeral i sat alone, in his armchair and dosed off. I was woken by very kind hands nudging me awake and pulling me gently up. My mother wasn't remotely kind or gentle and we were the only ones in the house. I knew it was my father encouraging me to go to bed after a terrible day.