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AIBU?

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Original poster

Something really strange just happened

519 replies

InSwamTiddler · 10/12/2018 06:08

I’ve NC for this as I’m not sure what to make of it and I’m really confused.
Back story - I was raised Catholic, but I’m atheist now. I work in a science based field and for as long as I can remember I have believed in the factual, empirically provable reality of things. I don’t believe in God or the afterlife, or ghosts / paranormal stuff.

Nearly 9 years ago my dad died. He died very suddenly and unexpectedly at a young age in my childhood family home.

Due to some circumstantial things, I’m currently living back in my family home.
My mum has mentioned a few times over the years that she’s felt my dad’s presence here and I’ve always been openly kind to her about it, but thinking “nope. Your imagination is going crazy because you’re grieving”. She’s mentioned she’s felt pressure on the bed as if someone has sat down on it next to her for example.

Anyway, this morning DP has left for work and I was still in bed. I was listening to him brushing his teeth, then popping the kettle on so I was definitely awake, but a little drowsy.

I felt him get back into bed with me and thought “what’s he doing?”... it’s not unusual for him to pop back into the bedroom and give me a hug or kiss before leaving the house.

I felt the heaviness of him pressed against my back and his arms wrapped around me. There was a heat between my shoulder blades I have never felt before but I wasn’t scared but I knew it wasn’t DP then. I heard the front door open so DP was leaving the house. Then my whole back went tingly a bit like pins and needles but not in an unpleasant way.

When it was happened I felt calm and warm but I’m freaking out now and can’t stop crying. Sounds silly but I feel like it may have been my dad.

I was 100% awake, not dreaming. I leant over and flicked the lamp on straight after.

Does anyone believe in this stuff? I never have but now I’m questioning everything.

OP posts:
nowshesaturtle · 10/12/2018 13:24

buster72 who said anything about the OP's dad spooning her? The OP just mentions a hug.
Have some bloody respect for other people even if you have none for yourself.

CaliHummers · 10/12/2018 13:30

Was your dad in the habit of crawling into bed and spooning you?

I'm glad it's not just me who found the thought of ghost-dad spooning me more reminiscent of The Exorcist than Caspar The Friendly Ghost.

CaliHummers · 10/12/2018 13:33

Nowshesaturtle the OP clearly says that as she lay in bed "I felt the heaviness of him pressed against my back and his arms wrapped around me." OK Buster didn't put it very subtly, but this is not something I would want my dad doing, in this life or the next.

nowshesaturtle · 10/12/2018 13:57

Wow I think some of you have pretty active imaginations. I think the OP wouldn't have felt 'calm and warm' , especially as she 'knew it wasn't her DP' if she interpreted her experience as spooning Confused

Gardai · 10/12/2018 13:59

@Buster72 GrinGrinGrin

Whocansay · 10/12/2018 14:10

I've experienced something similar. My mum died 5 years ago, but on a handful of occasions I've 'felt' her come and sit on the bed next to me. I wasn't particularly thinking about her at the time. Rationally, I tell myself I was dreaming. But I still think it was her.

And I told her I missed her, just in case.

I've never told anyone that.

bigcuddlytomcat · 10/12/2018 14:13

@procne have there been studies on instincts? Many sane sensible highly educated intelligent people rely heavily on instincts without there being any tangible proof which would satisfy everyone else.

itsnowthewaitinggame · 10/12/2018 14:15

ParkheadParadise I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Your experience just can't be explained and could certainly not be dismissed. It's a complicated and strange world and there's so much we just will never understand

90mammasophie · 10/12/2018 14:31

Maybe there is no other explanation. Maybe it was your dad, giving you a little hug.

You can always sort of tell someone you knows energy. Walking into my family home I always know who's in, mum or dad. Can sort of feel their energy.

TellItLikeItReallyIs · 10/12/2018 14:38

Hypnopomic hallucination/dreaming

When you are still in bed and "waking up" you can still drift in and out of a sleep state.

Next question.

Original poster
InSwamTiddler · 10/12/2018 14:47

@olivertwistwantsmore thanks for trying to make it sound sick.
When I was little I used to climb into bed with my mum and dad all the time and used to love to snuggle up to him and sort of sit on his lap in bed, rather than a spoon. He was a big burly man and would wrap me up in his arms and I loved it because it made me feel safe.
We were a close family, he was there at the birth of my DD. Nothing sexual about it...
says a lot more about you than me

OP posts:
InSwamTiddler · 10/12/2018 14:50

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Original poster
InSwamTiddler · 10/12/2018 14:52

Thank you for everyone’s replies, logically I think I know it was a hallucination of some sort but it felt so real.

For those asking... yes my dad would have happily sat on my bed and leant over to cuddle me. He did it many times even as an adult when I would occasionally stay over at my parents house. He would come in with a cuppa or something and give me a hug to wake me up.
My mum does it too, she’ll even get in and watch tv with me in the mornings!

OP posts:
IchWill · 10/12/2018 14:59

@InSwamTiddler Please ignore the PPs that have posted just to twist your OP.

As I already said, I believe you, so do many others. If you take comfort in it, then that's a wonderful thing.

Sorry for your loss BTW. Flowers

Original poster
InSwamTiddler · 10/12/2018 15:14

@IchWill thank you x

OP posts:
CuppaSarahsCuppaChristmasCheer · 10/12/2018 15:27

Time happens all at once but we experience in a linear fashion right? Well sometimes by sheer fluke we accidentally perceive things that happened to us or happened in the place we're at, but from a different time.

I believe some events can leave such an impact on us they effect us before we have reached that point on the time line. Or we can perceive past events as if they're happening right now.

It's a little farfetched sounding and certainly based in theories from more modern and out there scientists. But there's so much we're only begining to understand. It brings me comfort to think we're all here together with everyone and everything that ever was and is way less scary than spirits imo.

sallysummer · 10/12/2018 15:36

BUster you are a nasty piece of work. Do fuck off.

sallysummer · 10/12/2018 15:38

Gardai - you too, how the fuck is what Buster said funny? You are sick.

DioneTheDiabolist · 10/12/2018 15:44

Seriously, if I had premonitions that always came true, I’d find a scientist and share this extraordinary ability that...
What kind of scientist would you find Twit? I know a few and they'd be of no use whatsoever with this sort of thing.Xmas Confused

M3lon · 10/12/2018 15:45

The thing is that when we say 'I know what I felt' or 'I know what I saw' we are always ALWAYS wrong. Not like lying or getting it wrong on purpose, but just necessarily wrong because of the way our brains work.

There are so many great videos online that explain this phenomenon. The best one I saw recently was tracking a moving object. What you see has happened is actually affected by what you see next...your brain doesn't tell you what to think about a time point A until you have actually seen almost half a second after A occurred.

The point is that you don't see what IS, you see what your brain makes of it..and that can be a totally different thing. The same applies for sensation and hearing.

We actually know almost nothing about the REAL world, as everything we sense is processed by a very sophisticated, but ultimately totally flawed biological computer.

In this case the explanation is very obvious and simple. It is very very possible and occurs very frequently that people think they are awake when they aren't actually awake. This has been measured and observed in laboratory settings, let alone it being a part of everyday life for many people and a less frequent occurrence for most of the rest of the people on the planet.

I have had such dreams on occasion throughout my life. Sometimes they carry a feeling of threat with them, sometimes a feeling of comfort. Its a perfectly normal if somewhat disturbing phenomenon.

Gardai · 10/12/2018 16:15

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TwitToWoo · 10/12/2018 16:49

Sorry, Dione - I tried but I cannot bring myself to believe that that’s meant to be a serious question.

DioneTheDiabolist · 10/12/2018 16:52

It's a serious question alright. What type of scientist would you find if you were experiencing premonitions that came true?Xmas Confused

happyclutterchucker · 10/12/2018 16:56

I've experienced something very similar OP, my dad visited me once, I was sitting on a chair beside the telly, and he came and put his arms around me and hugged me. This happened about 5 years ago - he died in the 1970's.

IWasTrendingThereForAMinute · 10/12/2018 16:56

When I was a kid I used to get in bed with my Dad while Mum went to get a tray of tea first thing in the morning. He used to wrap himself around me and he smelled of Brylcreem and machine oil. If I smell either or both it takes me back to those wonderful cuddles with my DDad. It was just a hug. Nothing more. If he came and did the same again now even though he died in 2011, I would love that experience. So sad that there are people that think sick stuff where there is none.