when did tantrums become 'meltdowns' ?

[paintinmyhairAgain]

this seems to be a thing nowadays 'ds had a meltdown in tescos' er, okay so he lay on the floor and started screaming and yelling, nuclear reactors can have meltdowns, kids have tantrums because they can't always do what they want / have what they want. it just seems to be a faddy expression until another equally silly expression comes along to replace it. [disclaimer i've had 6 dc includ. special needs, so i am well versed.
hard hat finally on

If you give them what they want and they stop crying, its a tantrum. If they carry on its a meltdown

No idea; does it matter?

Meltdowns are usually associated with asd and developmental disability. Unless their child has SN then yes it's probably just a tantrum, but meltdown sounds more dramatic for social media.

I would only use it in relation to additional needs tbh, to distinguish it from run of the mill tantrums and behaviour that others deem to be naughty. It still doesn't seem sufficient though!

A meltdown is something else, usually associated with SN, although it does seem to have been appropriated by parents who think their DCs tantrum are worse than "normal" tantrums.

Years ago the only people I heard talking about meltdowns were friends with children who have SEND needs. (E.g. DC had a meltdown because we'd forgotten their ear defenders and the shop was too overwhelming).
Tantrums were always kids being stroppy and crying to get their own way.

A tantrum generally would stop when the child gets what the want. A meltdown doesn't.

Somewhere along the line the language of a sensory meltdown seems to have got applied to child crying and kicking off to get their own way.

It was a term associated with ASD that has been misappropriated IMO.

An OP after my own heart. My thoughts entirely.

Interesting. I have definitely used the word meltdown when my son was a baby and would freak out about something or other and be utterly inconsolable, but I guess they weren't tantrums anyway as he was so little. Now he's almost 2 and I tend to say "kick off" when he starts protesting.

Personally I don't mind either way though. As long as they don't last long!

A tantrum and a meltdown are different things.

thanks mners it has been hijacked from our dc who have sn and seems to be bandied about so causally now for general bad behaviour. i guess it sound more dramatic for social media and the 'poot you, r u okay hun' brigade.

My ds is just getting to the age where tantrums are a thing. He has his fair share, kicking off shouting screaming, crying and flailing about. but he's only once had what I would have described as a full on meltdown, where nothing could console him, he had no focus, was just screaming and sobbing heartbreakingly, didn't seem to be able to see, hear or recognise me. I usually find his tantrums funny or at least understandable, but this was really scary for me, and it took forever to 'get him back'. I think a meltdown is a much more extreme thing than a tantrum. The two shouldn't be used interchangeably.

sensory meltdown I don't necessarily think all meltdowns are due to sensory issues - I think that there can be different triggers that can be overwhelming, causing a massive reaction. I think sometimes those triggers (eg not being able to wait....not wanting another child near them....not being able to deal with a demand placed on them....etc) can make it seem to outsiders that a child is just being naughty because they can't get what they want.

All parents will have experienced a young child having a tantrum and this is an entirely expected, albeit difficult experience.

An autistic child in meltdown is an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Those of us who have experienced this know how different it is.

It was a term associated with ASD that has been misappropriated IMO

This so much.

I do sometimes want to ask them if they want deal with ds for 2 hours or more in meltdown to realise what a meltdown actually is!

I've started using "melt down" for my 7 yo. When he kicks off, he loses all sense of reason and any solutions to his problem are rejected. He's long beyond the normal age range of "tantrums".

As a toddler, his "tantrums" were frequent, intense and could be sparked by anything. He's rarely achieved anything to his advantage from them. I've begun investigating SN after a difficult summer in the build up and aftermath of SATs as it appears that there is more than suspected dyslexia at play.

To be fair, I think melt down was used in the past for tantrums, losing temper etc. Maybe American? Before it became a SN thing.

Dunno really

My son has occasional meltdowns....he is 16 and autistic. He struggles with many things.

As a child he had tantrums and more frequent meltdowns, the key is knowing the difference between the two.

You know the difference too so you know that neurotypical children rarely have actual meltdowns....,they have tantrums mostly,

I always use tantrums for situations where the child is basically stropping because they want something/dont want something and they are trying to get you to change your mind. "Meltdown " is more when there's just overload (sensory/tiredness/ hunger etc) and they just can't cope and screaming is just a way to communicate that.

Meltdowns are not just the preserve of children with special needs. My children had quite a lot of tantrums back in the day but there were occasional meltdowns too and they were very different.

I like the 'if they stop after you give them what they want' its a tantrum definition.

I think even DC without any SN can have 'meltdowns' in specific situations like if they are poorly.

DS has tantrums weekly (he's 2!) but has probably had 2 or 3 'meltdowns' in his life. Both were pain/illness related.
He's only had antibiotics once and they had a really wierd effect on him, the other time was on a plane journey when his ears hurt.

OP, children on the autistic spectrum are not the only ones who can have meltdowns as opposed to tantrums: the same can apply to children who have been traumatised (e.g. adoption trauma) and/or have various MH issues (not necessarily diagnosed at the time).

I'd say it's a meltdown if the child:

*cannot understand what is being said to them

*cannot recognise their nearest and dearest

*is unable to stop even if offered the thing that triggered the meltdown

*even though of an age to understand their actions, will persist in inflicting significant harm on themselves without intending to do so

my db (adoption trauma) once kicked a deep hole in a wooden door while barefoot

my dd (MH issues later diagnosed, now more or less functioning on medication as an adult) used to be completely out of it, destroyed her favourite possessions, bit me so I still have a scar 15 years later, had to be restrained to avoid causing herself serious harm

despite never having been rewarded or having had a rule relaxed over an outburst, both db and dd kept having these what-ever-I-may-be-allowed-to-call-them until the age of 10; dd then went on to self-harming and later to suicide attempts

neither of them had sensory issues, but if you insist that using the term meltdown is hi-jacking something from your children, then we need a new term, because whatever it is, it is bloody not the same as a naughty child thinking mummy will give in and buy him a sweetie

When ds goes off like a neutron bomb, we use 'he's hulking out!!'

I find that a meltdown is involuntary; like a fit. When my son has one he is honestly not aware, and when the meltdown ends/subsides he is disoriented and absolutely exhausted.
I do correct people - yes he has asd but when he is being naughty strangers will say "is someone having a meltdown" I respond with "no, he just isn't getting his own way!"

Ages ago. It’s an annoying term.