when did tantrums become 'meltdowns' ?

[paintinmyhairAgain]

this seems to be a thing nowadays 'ds had a meltdown in tescos' er, okay so he lay on the floor and started screaming and yelling, nuclear reactors can have meltdowns, kids have tantrums because they can't always do what they want / have what they want. it just seems to be a faddy expression until another equally silly expression comes along to replace it. [disclaimer i've had 6 dc includ. special needs, so i am well versed.
hard hat finally on

Sleb meltdown, April 1997.

The interesting thing is that when I search back in the 90s, Meltdown is often used to describe crazy adult behaviour. Sensory-different kids, too, but mostly meltdowns are economic or Cherynobyl; when applied to people, lots are adults. Meltdown to mean out of control behaviour by not-SN-Kids has been usage for a long time.

Doth my ASD child will shout and cry if I don’t buy her Pokemon cards, she’s 12, i still class it as a tantrum, she’s trying to get what she wants, yes she’s older but she doesn’t learn as quick as a NT child does so still has tantrums as well as meltdowns.

Good analogy, NC11.

What does seem to be happening with some people on this thread, though, is using their own experience to determine that only certain types of people can get migraine and only after certain triggers, and anybody else who tries to claim they do is just being hyperbolic.

So if all the people you have come across who get migraines are female and their main trigger is eating Stilton, then a man who gets migraines from eating chocolate is clearly using a phrase he has no right to.

Absolutely a meltdown could be related to not getting what you want but it would be more that the child can’t cope with the feeling of disappointment in an age appropriate way rather than ‘if I scream I’ll get this’. If it’s the latter then it’s a tantrum.

I blame Ice Age.

TheDark That makes so much sense, I will often say to DH when ds is mid meltdown that he doesn't even knows what he wants.

He is like a bottle of shook up fizzy pop, eventually that lid will burst off and out it will come with tremendous force.

I think I'll call my dcs tantrums or meltdowns what the hell I like!

DS1 and DD had tantrums. DS2 had meltdowns. There was a distinct difference in them (he has no special needs at all)

1995, gunman had an 'emotional meltdown'.
1994, Alec Baldwin's 'emotional meltdown' steals the film.

The terminology that we use in our children's services has changed over the last 2 years.
Some of the teens i work with have some SEN, but not all of them. Most have had a major trauma at some point. When they smashed up their bedroom or communal areas,attack us or what ever used to be described as a melt down. We now Describe the child as being 'in crisis'
Give it a couple of years and. any two year old having a tantrum because they can't have a box of coco pops in Asda will be in crisis!

What would you call a child with trauma, who on certain days will seem a bit odd from the moment he wakes, who will go around trying to provoke an argument with his siblings, arguing that black is white, until finally somebody answers back, which "allows" him to throw himself into a hurling, biting and kicking fit which goes on for several hours during which he seems completely impervious to pain, and which leaves him completely exhausted?

It's clearly not triggered by sensory issues, but neither is it a tantrum to get what he wants: in some bizarre fashion, the tantrum is what he wants, or at least what he needs.

My daughters don't have meltdowns. My son did. It's the ultimate negative progression from a tantrum. He would have massive meltdowns, for complicated non-sen reasons.

"Meltdown" in and of itself though is just another term - I've never known it to be seen as a "sensitive" term only applied in SEN cases?

pickachew sod your disclaimer, thanks for that one, i was merely pointing out that before anyone jumped on me about my not knowing, i was merely saying that with an aspie ds and another dc with special needs that i know how exhausting and difficult it is with challenges presented by dc with special needs.

My son is ASD and he has both tantrums and meltdowns. I get mighty pissed off when a parent ofan nt child has a tantrum and the parent calls it a meltdown. That parent can fuck off to infinity and back because meltdowns are deeply distressing for both parent and child, tantrums are just embarrassing.

Theoryofmould, does that mean because you can see the NT child is only having a tantrum, or because you only think ASD children have the right to have theirs referred to as meltdowns? Would you feel different if the other child was later diagnosed with PTSD or some other MH issue? Should I fuck off to infinity with my child who only stopped trying to hurt me when she realised she could hurt (or eventually try to kill) herself?

"i was merely saying that with an aspie ds and another dc with special needs that i know how exhausting and difficult it is with challenges presented by dc with special needs"

OP, do you also know what it is like to live with a traumatised child, with a child with PTSD, with a child with an as yet undiagnosed MH condition? Do you accept that such children might present differently from your child, that they might have different triggers?

I think it can be used for both nt and nd people it's just a description of being basically past all point of reason and a complete loss of control.

When my son has a meltdown ( although I call it being in distress) he is in his own world and all you can do is make sure he is safe until he comes out of it. They aren't long lasting - usually less than 30 minutes - but they are very intense and he looks very scared whilst they are happening.

I think claiming that only children with ASD can have meltdowns is shockingly ignorant of the many challenges facing children who have been through trauma, abuse, or have other medical conditions, disabilities, behaviour disorders or meltdowns caused by medication. And that's the tip of the iceberg of situations in which a child can have a more visceral response than just a tantrum. So I would suggest, OP, that you stop judging other people based on the term they use for something that clearly caused them serious stress that day when you don't know their circumstances and weren't even there to witness the meltdown!

Tbh I don't care if 'Karen' nextdoor uses the term meltdown to describe her NT child's tantrum, I have more issue with 'Jane' deciding that what my ASD child experiences isn't a meltdown because it isn't how they define it for their ASD child.

It is hard enough as it is without people judging you on the terms you are using.

I'd consider shouting about not getting their own way a tantrum, where as a meltdown is more about not being able to cope with their feelings or a situation.
Just my personal view x

I think claiming that only children with ASD can have meltdowns is shockingly ignorant of the many challenges facing children who have been through trauma, abuse, or have other medical conditions, disabilities, behaviour disorders or meltdowns caused by medication. And that's the tip of the iceberg of situations in which a child can have a more visceral response than just a tantrum.

This.

I agree with Judas and I think all kids can have melt downs sn or not

Apart from my own children, another child that springs to mind was a little boy who was traumatised from having witnessed his father murder his mother. But as far as I am aware, he did not have ASD- so according to some people on this thread, he must just have been throwing tantrums to get his own way, then. And no doubt the teachers and foster parents who tried to contain him were just being a bit precious about it.

No of course I’m not claiming only ASD kids have meltdowns. I’m referring to people I know saying their child is having a meltdown when they’re not. When mine has a tantrum then I call it a tantrum because a meltdown is different.