to ask if you are a little bit controlling of your OH?

[sunflower1984]

If you were completely honest?

I don't let my OH wear sandals or flip flops as I can't deal with toes and feet in general.

Does it make me a bad person

Oh there's no way on earth DH would be allowed on a rugby weekend! Not until he'll freeze over! He's had big drink problems in the past so I wouldn't trust him tbh.

You wouldn't trust him in what way?

The sandals thing is a bad example really as you can’t ban someone from wearing something which is to do with their comfort. You need to grow up about toes.

I think to a certain degree we all control don’t we? And I don’t mean in a bad way.

If Dh came to me today and said I’m going out and spending £5k on a bike I would say no you’re not. I would explain we don’t have £5k for him to spend on a hobby. Is that controlling though? What about if he said he was going out next week and I said you can’t on Tuesday because I’m already doing something. Is that controlling?

If Dh came to me today and said I’m going out and spending £5k on a bike I would say no you’re not. I would explain we don’t have £5k for him to spend on a hobby. Is that controlling though? What about if he said he was going out next week and I said you can’t on Tuesday because I’m already doing something. Is that controlling?

No. Both of those are reasonable situations within a relationship.

IF money wasn’t an issue and he wanted to spend £5k on a bike and THEN you said no, that would be controlling.

If you were doing nothing the night he wanted to go out and still said “you’re not going”, that would be controlling.

I've seen loads of threads on here where posters have said they would never allow husband to do something but I doubt they would admit they are controlling

Nope. DH would tell me where to go! As would I if he was controlling over me.

I don't allow my dh to wear slippers, much as he'd love to.

"allow" makes the person (you) seem like a complete twat.

@EdWinchester why though?

No. He used to try to control me in some ways (eg., I am a domestic slattern) but we have drawn a truce.

Allow is a strange word to use. More of a parent and child word. Perhaps some relationships are parent child ones.

Nope.

DP can do/wear/eat/whatever as and when he wants. And the same with him.

What the hell even is this thread please

SoyaSoy because slippers.

They're so mimsy.

I don't not allow him to do stuff (don't see how I could really) but I will point out if I don't like the look of a night out, a friend, shoes etc.

Ed

You must live somewhere warm ~Ed. because barefoot in the winter here is not something I would expect anyone to do lol.

I nag my boyfriend about smoking when he's drunk, and to wear a seatbelt.

He can stay out as late as he likes, go on weekends away etc, he's a grown man and I trust him.

Nope. As long as the DCs are looked after, DH and I are free to come and go as we please.
I've asked DH not to wear a certain t shirt as I don't like it, and on the rare occasion he buys clothes he'll ask my opinion, but he still has a god awful coat that he bought, despite me wrinkling my nose. It's fine. I'm a total Seasalt, White Stuff, Brakeburn dress wearer (work only as their dresses are so comfy) and I'm sure he prefers weekend me in jeans and a top. There are no trust/money/alcohol issues which definitely helps.

Not in the least he’s a capable adult
I’m appalled when I read on mn all the women infantilising their partner.they buy his clothes,shoes etc as apparently he’s not able etc
This is the man they then describe as top of his game,well paid etc?yet he needs a woman ft at home for all domestics,correspondence management and clothes purchases

I tell him to stop whistling in the car. It's either that or dash his brains out on the steering wheel.

I wouldn't say controlling no, although we do run stuff past each other regularly to make sure the other one is okay with it.

I wouldn't say I'm controlling though, although I have tried to gently modify some of his habits. For example he used to wear tracksuits and t-shirts all the time, which just looked a bit naff, but I've gradually encouraged him into nicer clothes by saying things like "ooh you look nice" when he wears a shirt etc, and now I think he makes more effort. But I never explicitly told him not to wear tracksuit bottoms.

I also don't allow him to have female friends as he has had form in the past. He once sent a girl he knew from work a video of himself masturbating and got himself the sack. He was out of work for months and we lost our then house.

my God your not his partner your his probation officer,enforcing rules to moderate his odious behaviour

I wish I could control DH to the extent that he stops putting his fucking cereal bowl with milk dregs in the sink on top of everything else, making a precarious tower of smashable milk water, and just wash it or lob it in the dishwasher instead for fuck sake. But no, I'm not controlling.

He does have a beanie hat that I laugh at. It is the least flattering thing ever. But he laughed at my favourite faux fur coat for several years

In all seriousness it's not right to control another human being. If you can't live together as adults why stay together? The pp who has to control the family finances - seriously, get out. What an awful way to live your whole life