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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL

61 replies

Housingcraze · 09/12/2018 09:37

Omg DP mum staying cause of day stay - general anaesthetic will be our off his system at 10am and she putting coats away tidying up stuff that doesn’t need tidying and last night put her show on without any consideration whether anyone else wanted to watch lol OMFG

Aibu for DP To say no or actually it’s not your place?

DP will want to watch football today at 2/3pm he not going to as his DM doesn’t like it - but it’s ok for DP to put up or being made to watch strictly come dancing in his home!!!

OP posts:
Pachyderm1 · 09/12/2018 09:39

Compared to some of the horrors you get on here she sounds fine tbh. It’s polite to let a guest choose what to watch, and she’s probably trying to help by tidying.

knittedjest · 09/12/2018 09:41

Your DP's a big boy. If he doesn't like what's on television he can change it himself. He doesn't need you to fight his playground battles for him.

Inkspellme · 09/12/2018 09:44

Not worth a family row and bitter feelings and memories over a television program and a bit of tidying up.

PurpleDaisies · 09/12/2018 09:47

I’m struggling to get excited about this. She tidied up? What a bitch. I’d ask guests what they’d like to watch on tv, and your Dh has made the decision to skip football to be with his mum who is recovering from an op.

You sound a bit mean to be honest.

YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 09/12/2018 09:53

Difficult to read but...

MIL has come to help look after her son after an op.

MIL will potter round the house and help tidy up.

MIL will watch a bit of TV whilst helping in your home.

MIL sounds great!

BertrandRussell · 09/12/2018 09:54

She tidied up and watched Strictly? How very dare she!

C0untDucku1a · 09/12/2018 09:54

Are you scared of your dp?

sherrysfortea · 09/12/2018 09:55

Wtf

Alfie190 · 09/12/2018 09:55

Oh wow she put coats away!!

Did you not ask her what she wanted to watch?

God you sound like a thoroughly unpleasant person. Poor woman stuck with you as DIL.

SoupDragon · 09/12/2018 09:56

Really?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/12/2018 09:59

Wtf indeed.

EleanorLavish · 09/12/2018 10:02

Hmmm, not sure you are going to win this one OP.
Feeling sorry for your MIL at the minute.Confused

MyKingdomForBrie · 09/12/2018 10:05

You sound a bit rude to be fair, if my mum stays we watch whatever she chooses and I'd never make anyone sit through football if they weren't into it!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 09/12/2018 10:27

Why she is there at all frankly with you people?. Does she not think you are both capable of looking after yourselves?.

She acts overbearingly because she can and on some level you are both afraid of her. Her son seems very afraid of her, far more so than he ever would be of you for instance. If neither of you cannot assert your own selves in your own home then you have big problems and you will further play into her hands.

Its not help if it is not wanted.

MyOtherProfile · 09/12/2018 10:31

Who had the OP? DP or Mil?

If it was MiL just ket her enjoy being looked aft3r for this short period.

If it was DP why does he need his mum? If she is there to look after him because you can't then she deserves to watch a show she likes on tv.

You know the GA being out of their system by 10am is just a guide right? And doesn't mean back to normal necessarily.

bringincrazyback · 09/12/2018 10:32

Am I the only one around here who thinks it's rude to tidy up and change the TV channel at will in someone else's home? Personally I think YANBU OP, that would annoy me too.

I get the feeling a lot of people on here have lovely MILs, which is great, but they probably aren't able to relate to how much an intrusive MIL can make a person feel insignificant in their own home. in their own home. She should have asked to change the channel IMHO, and shouldn't have tidied at all unless she'd offered first and OP had agreed.

Moussemoose · 09/12/2018 10:35

But if you had a guest they would get to choose what was on the telly.

You wouldn't say we watch this get on with it. That would be very rude.

BertrandRussell · 09/12/2018 10:36

Family pitch in. That's how it works.

But dp should certainly have the football on!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/12/2018 10:40

Only the other day a poster was annoyed because her PILs just came and sat there and didn't tidy up. I said on the thread that there are women who would be annoyed by this.

The OP is a prime example. I will never understand why grown women can't speak up for themselves when they don't like something their PILs are doing or not doing. Baffles me.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 09/12/2018 10:42

Not in the sense - tidy up but change whole kitchen round!
So therefore we don’t know where anything is!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 09/12/2018 10:43

“But if you had a guest they would get to choose what was on the telly.”

This isn’t about a guest, though.

PurpleDaisies · 09/12/2018 10:45

this isn’t about a guest, though.

How so? The MIL is a guest in their home.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 09/12/2018 10:50

I wouldn’t go to a family member house and tell them to put what I want tv without asking or being offered! To me that’s rude but maybe it is the done thing!

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/12/2018 10:50

Why didn't you tell her not to do it OP?
And I don't view family as guests. They get told if they do something I don't like or that's annoying, the same as they do me.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 09/12/2018 10:56

It’s not my house to do so! DP property - I did mention to DP and he just sigh so didn’t automatically stand to defend his DM

OP posts: