About picking DH up from pub

[Largepiecesofcrookedwood]

Long story short, DH went out tonight to have a drink with his adult son. I dropped him off just after 6pm, telling him I would be back to pick him up at 9pm.
Five to nine comes and I message to say that I'm outside when he's ready. He didn't appear so I rung him, each time it went straight to voicemail so I text a couple more times.
After 45 minutes he called and said he had been expecting me to call him. He spent the journey home asking why I hadn't simply come in the pub "for a coke" and berating me for making a fuss about him seeing his children
I've been so furious I've said very little (as I didn't actually trust myself to speak) but I did tell him it was hugely disrespectful. He maintains I should have gone in and found him.
On the face of it I'm now not sure if sitting in the car getting more and more irate was pointless and I was a bit of a twat?
I don't think I'm BU to be angry that he was late, I'm just not sure if IWBU by not simply going in to meet him?

Yeah I would have gone in!

@Shitlandpony Sun 09-Dec-18 19:47:25
I never have a cabbie come and find me in a bar, I am a grown adult. I get a text and make sure I am there for the agreed time.

Cabs haven't always texted when they are there, this is a fairly recent thing.

@Shriek Sun 09-Dec-18 18:35:03
Well you could say that Eliza but, if you want to be pedantic about it, I can't remember the last time I went in a pub equipped with DJ! But then again, I could be only going to the pubs lacking a DJ, cos every pub has a DJ every night?!?!
If a cab can text, so can he, are we making excuses for a full blown grown up bloke who can't seem to manage this?

Ok if being pedantic, If no DJ and it was that quiet, ime, the taxi driver goes to the bar and they call out 'cab for xxx'.

Cabs haven't always texted when they are there, this is a fairly recent thing

And your point is? Clearly I meant in the last few years as I don’t remember them doing it in the 90s 🙄

You sound controlling. He’s a grown man! Let him sort out how he’s getting home.

I would have went in. But he should have realised the time and kept an eye out for you. He made a mistake and lost track of time, if it doesn't happen often I wouldn't be too bothered.

However he should have been really apologetic, not berating you. That would make me angry.

What a palava over what was clearly a simple misunderstanding.

If he didn't hear your call, and he assumed you'd come in to get him instead of sitting in the car for 45 minutes(?!) - which surely anyone would assume - then of course he wouldn't come out into the cold and the dark to wait, when he could be inside.

Not only is this non-entity of a situation bizarre, but the fact that you're moved to start a thread to try to figure it all out, just takes the

Ccl he did sort out how he was getting home. He asked the op for a lift at 9pm.

I dont think yabu. I'd be really pissed off too.

My husband doesn't drive and if I'm doing him a favour by ferrying him around the least he can do is be ready at the pre-arranged time.

Why are non-drivers always ‘ferried around’ on Mumsnet? They never just get a lift - they’re always ‘ferried around’.

YANBU

You were doing him a favour, he should of made sure he was outside at 9. It's not polite or respectful. I would never expect someone to wait for me if they were doing me a favour.
I wouldn't make much out of it this time if it were my DH though, I would just say next time 'i'll be there at 9, and I'll be leaving at 10 past at the latest, with or without you'. I've had to do this once, he now is on time or makes sure to let me know he'll be a few minutes late.

I understand where you are coming from OP. We live rurally and I use to collect DH from the pub if he had gone during the day to watch a match. I've stopped doing this as a) he was never ready at the time he asked me to collect him and b) I have to bring DC with me and didn't like sitting outside in the car.

I wouldn't go into the pub as I had DC with me but i wouldn't have even if they were not because I wasn't dressed up or had makeup on and we would both have gotten a lot of "jokey" under the thumb type comments