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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell someone they smell....?

75 replies

Tadda · 09/12/2018 00:27

Ok situation explanation probably needed...but also in general...can you tell someone they smell?
I've had to spend the last three weeks in hospital (I'm 35 weeks preg with grade 4 placenta pravia, had 3 abruptions so at 32 weeks admitted as precaution until cSection on 19th)...
Anyway, im on a ward that beds 4, most admitted for 24/48 hour obs, made a couple of lovely new local mum friends so something positive out of what has been a difficult time.
Anyway - occasionally, only three times luckily, but tonight again, someone's admitted that really smells, as in not washed/feet/dirt.....whatever it is but this honestly stinks the whole room out and I know it might be just me (heightened preg senses or whatever) but it's makes me physically sick- but no-one seems to say anything (although staff do seem to open an extra window....) and I end up wandering the corridor for the majority of the night just to get away from the smell....I just can't bring myself to say anything...what would they do anyway? You can't tell someone to wash can you?? But why not??
I'm knackered...

OP posts:

needtogetagrip · 09/12/2018 00:29

No you can't really say that to someone in hospital, try being a nicer person.

FissionChips · 09/12/2018 00:31

You can’t tell someone who’s just been admitted to hospital that they smell.

Just put a bit of vapour rub under your nose or a sniff a drop of lavender oil on a tissue/your pillow.

AGHHHH · 09/12/2018 00:31

Of course you can't say that in a hospital.

Justaboutawake · 09/12/2018 00:33

I’d find it really hard telling somebody they smell. Could you make a general comment along the lines of “this room is so stuffy it’s beginning to pong a bit”
It may do the trick. Otherwise could you spray something on to some tissue and just keep it to your nose?

Cheerbear23 · 09/12/2018 00:34

Tell the nurses, say it’s making you feel ill.
You won’t get a good reaction if it comes from you.

Original poster

Tadda · 09/12/2018 00:34

...hense me not saying anything...but thanks @needto - ill try and be a nicer person and continue to keep my mouth shut....as I have done...which is why I asked is it unreasonable......

OP posts:

ShadyLady53 · 09/12/2018 00:37

My family are pretty much all medics apart from me. I’d actually alert a member of staff. “Someone’s personal hygiene needs attending to, the smell is so strong I feel very sick and wander the corridors at night just to get away from it. It’s a delicate situation but is there any possibility of them getting some support to attend to their personal hygiene please?”

IHaveBrilloHair · 09/12/2018 00:37

No, you really can't but I feel for you, shared wards are hell.
I have frequent admissions and thankfully the hospital isball single rooms.

eggncress · 09/12/2018 00:38

No,you can’t tell an unwell hospital patient they smell.
You don’t know their circumstances. Maybe they haven’t been well enough to take care of their own personal hygiene and have no family or friends who can help.

honeyrider · 09/12/2018 00:54

Tell a nurse so the patient who smells is cleaned up and made more comfortable.

zzzzz · 09/12/2018 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostpigeon · 09/12/2018 01:15

maybe they work in a smelly place...and got admitted, that's my ultimate nightmare if I ever got admitted straight from work!

CanSurvive · 09/12/2018 01:16

I’d let the nurses know so they can check the patient is ok. Strongly scented lip balm is your friend.

Lovingbenidorm · 09/12/2018 01:20

I would imagine that the staff are acutely aware that a new patient has an odour problem.
While I appreciate it’s not very pleasant for you and other patients there’s not a lot you can do really.
You can mention it to staff and hopefully they’ll tackle the issue.
I’m feeling really sad for the smelly person. It doesn’t sound like they have anyone that cares

MutedUser · 09/12/2018 01:36

Try to be kind Op if it was someone staying in my house I would say but someone in hospital no. What if they nurse asked them to shower and they said no. Nothing could be done no one can force them unfortunately.

Singlenotsingle · 09/12/2018 01:40

Could you ask to be moved? Maybe they've got a side room?

PenelopeFlintstone · 09/12/2018 01:53

I think the hospital SHOULD sort it out. It's one thing to worry about people's feelings but another if it means other patients are unable to rest and recuperate.

itwaseverthus · 09/12/2018 02:19

I had a nightmare night in hospital years ago next to a man who has the most offensive smell from him, it was coming from his boots which he was allowed to keep on in bed and yet I was refused my coat for warmth when the paltry one blanket was not enough. Turns out he was a late stage alcoholic and the staff was just at a loss as for where to put him. Until he tried to climb into my bed. Ah the great NHS

fringegrin45 · 09/12/2018 02:20

When I was in labour I felt really nauseous so the midwife taped a piece of cotton dipped in peppermint to my nightie. You prob can't have peppermint at the moment but perhaps there's another oil that's safe - try asking the midwife what you can have, also gives you an excuse to complain about the smell without being rude

PenelopeFlintstone · 09/12/2018 04:24

Can they really not force them to have a shower if they're admitted? I'm surprised and not surprised at the same time.

IHaveBrilloHair · 09/12/2018 04:33

No, they bloody can't, and nor should they.
Again, this Is why all hospitals should be single rooms.

PenelopeFlintstone · 09/12/2018 04:39

I bet they would've done in the olden days of starchy sisters and matrons. At least, 'strongly encouraged'.

Bunbunbunny · 09/12/2018 04:47

Are you on a maternity ward? I'd be concern about the welfare of the person if they could stink out a whole ward as that's not normal and can't be hygienic for them or other patients. It can't be comfortable for them either.

I think you should speak to the nurses about it, if that was my relation and they smelled that bad I'd be upset if no one has tried to help them. Don't understand why everyone is saying don't say anything, surely it's be kinder if something was done for the other patient.

PenelopeFlintstone · 09/12/2018 04:51

Exactly, Bunbunbunny. Unless they've got some kind of mental health issue which won't allow them to be washed, surely they'd feel better if they were clean and in clean pyjamas. I would've thought bathing a sick person is part of the care.

OhTheRoses · 09/12/2018 05:06

It's unacceptable. Speak to the sister in charge, be clear it is making you feel unwell and insist on a resolution:

The person is advised to bathe and be hygienic
The person is moved elsewhere
You are moved elsewhere

It's a hospital and basic standards need to be maintained within a civilised society. You have as much right (more) to be looked after in an environment that fits societal norms as a filthy bugger has the right to be filthy. In a communal environment they lose that right and some info about hygiene will be helpful to them if they are about to have a baby. If they are that dirty there probably needs to be ss involvement anyhow.

It's a maternity ward, not the seamen's mission. The staff need to maintain standards for the majority and ensure their right to a decent environment is respected.

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