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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell someone they smell....?

75 replies

Tadda · 09/12/2018 00:27

Ok situation explanation probably needed...but also in general...can you tell someone they smell?
I've had to spend the last three weeks in hospital (I'm 35 weeks preg with grade 4 placenta pravia, had 3 abruptions so at 32 weeks admitted as precaution until cSection on 19th)...
Anyway, im on a ward that beds 4, most admitted for 24/48 hour obs, made a couple of lovely new local mum friends so something positive out of what has been a difficult time.
Anyway - occasionally, only three times luckily, but tonight again, someone's admitted that really smells, as in not washed/feet/dirt.....whatever it is but this honestly stinks the whole room out and I know it might be just me (heightened preg senses or whatever) but it's makes me physically sick- but no-one seems to say anything (although staff do seem to open an extra window....) and I end up wandering the corridor for the majority of the night just to get away from the smell....I just can't bring myself to say anything...what would they do anyway? You can't tell someone to wash can you?? But why not??
I'm knackered...

OP posts:
FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 09/12/2018 05:21

I had the same after my C-section, I could smell the most awful smell and it was making me feel sick ... turns out it was me!!🤣

I'd had a painkiller suppository up my bum during the surgery and it was oozing out 😱 it smelt terrible!!

SD1978 · 09/12/2018 05:25

No. You so t know the circumstances they have been brought in under. A colleague in the workforce- absolutely. Random poor pregnant woman admitted to hospital- no. Utterly rude.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 09/12/2018 05:25

Everything OnTheRoses said. I’m shocked how many people seem to think you should have to put up with this in a hospital ward.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/12/2018 05:38

Talk to the staff, you shouldn't have to put up with it tbh, not if it's making you feel sick.

Dab a bit of shampoo/conditioner under you nose for now.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/12/2018 05:39

I’d also speak to the nurses and state you can’t abide the smell and it’s making you very anxious. Blame pregnancy heightened senses.

PenelopeFlintstone · 09/12/2018 05:44

Random poor pregnant woman admitted to hospital- no. Utterly rude.

I don't agree. It's in everyone's best interests.

originalusernamefail · 09/12/2018 06:20

Mention it to the midwives, but they are probably well aware and have no powers to act. I’m presuming that the person in question is independently mobile and capable of attending to their own hygiene (please correct if I am wrong). In such a case hospital staff have no rights to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to ( informed consent anyone?). If this happened on my ward I would frequently offer washing facilities to them and look to moving you somewhere away from them if available but that would be all I could do (excluded safeguarding / lack of capacity issues).

PrivateDoor · 09/12/2018 06:26

As along term inpatient - you should be in a side room. That is what would happen in your circumstances in my place. Any chance of this happening?

fieryginger · 09/12/2018 06:35

Yeah, I'd have a quiet word with a nurse. They'd have heard this complaint before, that's all you can do really. Is Olbas Oil ok whilst pregnant? You could start a conversation with a nurse with that question.

I bet the midwives have been at the business end of a few pungent births in their time. I'm not bothered by folks bits and pieces, but stinky bits and pieces would bother me.

CaliHummers · 09/12/2018 07:06

Since you're there for your health and currently wandering around when you should be resting I'd speak to the nurses. It might be that the smell isn't just from being unwashed - it might be because they're ill. Either way, it's affecting you, so talk to staff.

Somewhereovertherainbow13 · 09/12/2018 07:07

Yanbu but equally as pp say you don’t know what’s happened to those people. I was 36 weeks pregnant with ds when we visited a farm for the day, that night as I was getting in the bath I started bleeding heavily from placenta previa was admitted to hospital (before getting my bath) for an emcs and was basically unable to do anything for the next 3 days as I felt so completely and utterly out of it. There was no way on earth I could have got a shower or a wash, I fainted simply sitting next to my baby’s incubator

PenelopeFlintstone · 09/12/2018 07:18

You couldn't have done it yourself, Somewhereover, but wouldn't it be part of nursing care to clean you up and make you feel fresh? Even just to bring you a clean hot/cool flannel depending on the weather? I'm not saying it's the person's fault. They may well be incapable.
What ever happened to bedbaths? Have they gone by the wayside?

fibonaccisequins · 09/12/2018 07:31

Bedbaths are absolutely still a thing, I was assisted to get washed post EMCS, and have given countless Bedbaths over the years (nurse, not just strange!!)
Speak to the staff OP, perhaps a side room will become available, as you should be resting, not having to roam the corridors.

Nanalisa60 · 09/12/2018 07:45

Maybe the nurses will ask her if she would like a shower this morning? If she is allowed out of bed? Or you could have a shower then when u come out ask her if she would like to borrow for shampoo conditioner and shower gel ? Be kind tell her it may make her feel a little bit better you don’t know her circumstances She has maybe had a terrible time. But obviously only if she can get up!! If she get up and does shower ask the nurses to get her a hospital gown or give her one of yours!!

Yidette86 · 09/12/2018 07:46

As much as it may seem rude to speak to the person directly, you can tell a nurse and express your concerns, not only for your welfare (explain how it's made you feel and that you can't rest as it's so off putting) but also for their welfare, hygiene is important for everyone.

Be polite and diplomatic about it and say you would like a solution as it's making you feel very uncomfortable, whether that be that they attend to the persons hygiene, you move or they move, you need to get your rest, it could be detrimental to you and your babies health if you don't.

GoblinsAndGhouls · 09/12/2018 07:59

I would say something to staff. Yes, they probably already know but it might be that they won't say anything unless other people say something.

I wonder if some people say you should just 'be nicer' have any experience of being at close quarters with someone who smells very bad - that almost acrid smell that hits the back of your throat is impossible to ignore. The OP's reaction to a bad smell is perfectly natural - we are designed that way because a bad smell is usually a warning sign to stay away from something.

Somewhereovertherainbow13

Someone who hasn't bathed for 3 days would not produce the level of smell that would cause someone to need to leave the room to escape it. You'd have to be very close to someone to smell that they hadn't showered for 3 days.

longwayoff · 09/12/2018 08:03

O what happened to hospital hygiene? Bed baths? Washing newly admitted patients to limit any transmissions? No advice for u at all tho, hope is resolved soon.

LucheroTena · 09/12/2018 08:06

I’m a nurse and if someone needed a wash I would advise them and encourage them to shower / bath- and help them do so if needed. Nothing wrong / unethical about that.

suddenlypanicked · 09/12/2018 08:14

Last week I was in hospital and someone was honestly too lazy to go to the toilet and demanded a comode
I was in for hyperemesis which was out of control
She honestly did a poo despite being able to walk about bla bla bla
And she made the worst smell I cannot explain
She was beside me
I was sick in my hands and ran off the bed with a drip attached to a heavy machine which was on wheels doing the pumping
I literally collapsed in a cold sweat on the floor in the hall and the nurses came out and injected me in the hall to stop me vomiting then helped me back to bed after cleaning everything

I really feel that being in hospital the least is for you to be protected from other people's disgusting ness
If you're in for so long I would ask for a side room
I don't know how you can sleep you poor thing

Xxx

Cheby · 09/12/2018 08:15

Don’t say anything yourself but do mention to the midwives/HCAs. Someone needs to help her to wash. For her sake primarily.

ThatOneHurt · 09/12/2018 08:30

Absolutely speak to a staff member. I don't feel as though patients, some of which will already be feeling like crap, some will have HG, shouldn have to put up with a nasty stench like that.

ThatOneHurt · 09/12/2018 08:31

And please don't tell me you're at Brighton hospital because I'm going to be on that ward very soon.

LucheroTena · 09/12/2018 08:33

I can’t believe in this day and age that we still expect people to share bedrooms and bathrooms with strangers while in hospital (ie at their most vulnerable). When our hospital was rebuilt in 2005 I was shocked to see they were sticking with 4 -6 bedded bays on open wards for the majority of the wards. You walk through some of them and it must be complete nightmare for patients what with dementia patients and others walking around shouting, visitors crammed around beds, the sheer noise, smell and lack of privacy.

Bitlost · 09/12/2018 08:55

Can you ask to be moved? Flowers

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/12/2018 09:02

I’d raise it with staff. Say quietly you think bed 4 needs some help with personal hygiene. The odor is making you feel sick and keeping you up.